Miss Pirate Demands You Walk the Plank Nao

Chapter 2

By Eppogirl and Lemonshark

The commoner girl doggie paddles to the life jacket and puts it on. But after the pirate girl splashes in the water beside her, she rips off her lifejacket and put it on herself instead. The commoner starts sputtering again until a dolphin comes to her rescue.

"HEY!" the pirate girl yells and gets herself a whale.

The other girl stares. "Um, I don't think it's a good idea to be on that whale's back..."

"WHY? It's not like the whale will suddenly spray out gallons of water from its blowhole! It can definitely out-swim YOUR dolphin! Also, at least mine doesn't have a bionic eye and looks evil like yours suddenly does!" The pirate shoots back.

"Um, that whale will and this dolphin is just Blowhole, he won't bite."

"Blowhole will TOTALLY bite! And kill! And maim!"

"No, I think your Blowhole is different."

"Well, I'm talking about DR Blowhole. Also the other one, too. Yes, they both work. AND YES, THERE ARE ONLY TWO. Maybe yours is Willy, I dunno. Argh!"

"Um, Willy's a killer whale... And that whale you're on, it's Moby Dick."

"Crap. How did YOU KNOW ABOUT WILLY?!?!!?! and, ocean animals can have same names, just like humans! There are millions of peeps called Jennifer, you know. Even guys! PS Moby Dick is dead!"

"Oh, no he's not, they just say it in the book, Moby Dick is as alive as Nessie is."

"Oh, no he's not, they just say it in the book," The pirate mocks. "WELL WHATEVER I THINK YOU ARE IN DENIAL no, not the Nile, which is in Egypt but DENIAL!"

"We're in the ocean... We might end up in Egypt."

"This is NOT Moby Dick. I mean, look at it! It's so small!" The pirate's whale suddenly eats the girl's dolphin. "…Nevermind…"

The other girl gets eaten, too. "Wow, it's roomy in here."

"Weird, because I thought the whale's inside's density, mass and volume would prove to be smaller than the outside, not bigger! How's it like, being in the whale?" The pirate was meanwhile thinking up some evil pirate plans.

"Don't forget fat."

"That's because of the blubber to keep it warm! Don't you know your ocean animal information?!"

"Um, what part of 'Carpenter' and 'fishermen' do you not understand?"

"YES! FISH. ER. MAN. DO YOU KNOW YOUR KNOWLEDGE?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE ANNOYING THIS PIRATE GIRL?! DID YOU HEAR A CAT JUST MEOW?!"

"The part of fisherman is that I don't have any learning! And yes, and... No?"

"DO YOU WISH TO COME OUT OF THIS WHALE?"

"Not really, quite nice in here."

"THOUGHT SO."

"Plus, we can gut this whale, and eat it!"

"Cool! Hey, I think I see an island up ahead!"

"...How did you see? We're in a whale."

"YOU'RE in a whale, I'M on top of it! That's why!"

"Ok. What's the island?"

"NO idea."

The commoner girl sighed and mumbled. "And you call yourself a pirate..."

"HEY how should I know what that island is?! I don't think it has been mapped out on the charts yet! I don't even get to HAVE my charts with me because I think someone pushed me out of my pirate ship before I could get them!"

"I'm just saying that you might've at least HEARD of the island!"

"I CAN'T SEE THEN REMEMBER THE ISLAND! I don't think I have ever been to this one! Ya know why?! because there are no treasures on it!"

"Typical pirates... Always on the treasure..."

"what else do you THINK? have you even looked up the MEANING of Pirate in the dictionary? WE WANT POWAH! and PLEASE just don't suddenly whip out a dictionary from inside that whale..."

"Um, that might be too late..."

"Huh?"

"Well, a dictionary just floated towards me... In the stomach juice, and surprisingly in good condition."

"WHAT THE FREAK?! yeah, right...hey, looks like the island is coming nearer! Or we are coming nearer to the island, anyway..."

"I think it's the latter."

"GO FASTER, WHALE!!" The pirate shouts. The whale makes some random whale noises. The other girl tries not to laugh.

"WHY ARE YA TRYIN NOT TO LAUGH?!"

"Well, you don't wanna know what that whale said..."

"WUT? Well, maybe I do!"

"Ok, tell me what he said, then."

The pirate girl thinks hard. "I think he said, um, sing a porn? SONG? WHAT is he talking about?!"

"Well, don't hurt me or anything, but, this is directly what the whale said, 'whatever, stupid, annoying pirate. I make my own decisions, and listen to no one!'"

"Yeah, right, LIAR! it would do whatever I say! like, jump, whale!" The whale jumps up out of the water before splashing back in.

"Sure it does..."

"Grrr....spit the lowly commoner and her dolphin out, whale!" And so the whale does. The pirate smirks. "WHO'S IN CHARGE NOW HMM?"

The other girl gets onto Dr. Blowhole. "Bye, pirate and whale!" She starts to ride Dr Blowhole to the island.

"HEY! Unfairness!" The pirate girl shouts and starts riding after them.

"C'mon, Blowhole, you can do it!" says the commoner girl.

"RACE!" The pirate urges her whale onwards.

"That's it, go Blowhole, go!"

"NOOOOOOZ!" They are neck to neck now.

"Come on, Blowhole..." The other girl mutters.

They both push forward, getting nearer and nearer to the island.

The girl squints. "Huh, you can see some of the island from here..."

"WELL?! WHAT DO YOU SEE ON THE ISLAND? I'M TOO BUSY BEING SPRAYED BY SEAWATER!"

"I dunno, trees... and that's it."

"...Okay..."

"That's all I can see, the island's surrounded by trees."

"What kind of trees? tropical trees, pine trees, apple trees...even as a pirate I know my trees!"

"Hm... Judging by the size, texture, and leaves of those trees... I'd say its Nyatoh."

"Even from HERE you can tell? Wow...AHA I KNEW you was some kind of ninja!"

"Hello, carpenter here!"

"right....do you have binoculars?"

"No, but I think Bruce does."

"NICE." The pirate's whale suddenly screeches to a halt. "what the...?"

"There are two possibilities. One, another whale is near, or Bruce and Jaws are here."

"No, there are eleven possibilities. One is that there is a giant glass pane under the sea, or another sea creature, or maybe it even dropped dead..."

"...If those possibilities add up, it's just five..."

"NO I ONLY GAVE YOU A FEW OF THE ELEVEN POSSIBILITIES, YOU" The pirate then calls the other girl a very bad name.

"Didn't have to be so testy 'bout it... But I do have this feeling that something's watching us..." The Jaws theme starts.

"DUN DUN DUN!...who's watching us?!" The pirate pulls a random dagger out of nowhere.

"IF I knew, would I add the dramatic ending?"

"WHAT DRAMATIC ENDING?!"

"Something of which-" a great white shark suddenly jumps out of the sea.

The pirate gasps. "so....we're never making it to the island?"

TO BE CONTINUED