AN: Probably not a great idea to bring out another story, but I guess this one was an inevitability ^_^ Hope ya'll enjoy-it's a LOT more light hearted than my other fics. Still some drama though... can't resist drama... :D
In all honesty, I can't remember that day very well. I mean, it was five years ago, even if it was kind of a big deal.
It was a stupidly average day; TV blaring in the background, muffled, with presenters' stern faces covering the screen, hand clasping my mug of black coffee as my dead eyes stared at the broadsheet in front of me. I wasn't really reading it, just using it as something to occupy my eyes. I'm really not a morning person.
When he first wandered in and said it, I didn't really register what it was that he said, so I just ignored him. I didn't even glance his way, but could see in the corner of my eye that he was already dressed in the new school shirt and tie Amir and I bought for him for his new school term.
See, Amir and I have been best mates for as long as I can remember, and we've lived together for about ten years. So when Amir's parents died while his brother, Raj, was only eleven it was only natural that he came to live with us both. Thing is, Amir told me beforehand that his little brother was different from your average kid… I thought that Amir was just being a typical brother. I.e. being overly judgemental. This thought, however, pinpricked after the first two days of having Raj staying round. He wasn't just different; he was socially inept.
Ok, perhaps that's being pretty mean; his parents had just died after all. But even Amir said that it was just usual behaviour for him and, after five years of living with us, he still hadn't changed. He never talked to anyone apart from his brother, Amy (his best friend) and me, though I'm not sure that his monosyllabic answers to my questions really count.
He never really engaged in talking to anyone about anything in any great depth; he just wasn't interested. Numerous times I offered to help him with his homework and they were perhaps the most painful times of my life; just a continuous loop of awkward silence and any attempt of mine in making conversation was extinguished right away. Later on, though, he did begin to ask for my help rather than me asking him whether he needed it which could be seen as an improvement. I guess.
Then there was the staring… that really was kind of creepy. He was fifteen when he started doing that. At first I felt a prickly feeling on my neck when I was showing him how to work out his algebraic equations, so I turned to him and he kept staring at me without a flicker of embarrassment. So, as usual, I tried ignoring him and kept blabbering on as I felt myself flushing in awkwardness.
Anyway, on that ever so fateful day, he spoke again. It was so rare for him to do so that I actually glanced up at him in confusion, raising an eyebrow despite my tiredness.
"Didn't you hear what I just said?"
"Um…" I raked a hand through my hair as I scanned him as he leant against the counter. His shoulders were stiff and his gaze so intense that I found myself almost squirming under it, so much so that I had to remind myself that this was a bloody sixteen year old. Frankly, it was embarrassing that I was becoming jittery in his presence. I straightened myself up in my chair.
"I like you."
I threw him a puzzled look, not really knowing what to say to that. "Um, that's, uh, great."
"Go out with me."
I blanched. "Wait, what?"
He didn't seem in the least affected by my response, and still kept his eyes trained on me, the dark tendrils of his hair curling in front of his icy blue eyes. Even though he was only sixteen and about the same height as me, he was so much more intimidating, especially when looking up from my chair at him.
"I know you like men," he said, as though that explained everything, "so go out with me."
Looking at him incredulously I stood up, moving over to the sink to dump my coffee cup and grab a glass of water. "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to go out with you, Raj. Plus you're bloody sixteen; I'd be a paedophile if I went out with you."
"No you wouldn't. Go out with me."
I threw my hands up in the air as he stayed standing there, eyes fixed on me with certainty. "Jesus Christ, Raj! You are sixteen… where is this even coming from?!"
I took a large gulp of water, expecting him to start smiling suddenly (even if that may have been even more bizarre than what he had just said) and tell me that he was joking. But his expression stayed the same. "Whenever I think of you I get an erection."
The water from my mouth sprayed across the room as my eyes widened comically. I stayed stock still while he gave the liquid globules on the floor a weird look. "Are you actually being serious?"
"Ok, look," I remember saying, moving towards him so I stood right in front of him. "You're going through puberty so it's natural to think you have feelings for me, but you don't. Have feelings for me, I mean."
"I went through puberty when I was thirteen."
"You know what I mean."
"No I don't."
I sighed deeply. "You're very attractive, Raj, and you're young. You have ages to find someone your own age."
"I want to go out with you."
"You really don't." He still looked at me adamantly and I found myself gripping at my hair, wondering how on earth this kid could even think about going out with me; I was twice as old as him and never really spoke to him. Properly, I mean. Moreover, while he may have been as socially retarded and creepy as fuck, no one could ever call him unattractive. Well, I think not, anyway.
But then, what I said next would fuck my life around for the next five years. In all honesty, it was the most stupid, idiotic and brainless thing I could have ever told him, and it went something like this:
"The only way I'd ever go out with you is if you relentlessly asked me out every day until you're twenty-one, and even then I'd be sceptical."
He knit his eyebrows together, setting his lips into a hard line with a thoughtful expression on his face. "And then you'd go out with me?"
By then I'd already turned away, thinking he'd finally got bored of the conversation and excusing it to be a freak-of-nature conversation from him. Maybe he was mentally ill?
"Yeah, whatever." I had answered distractedly, sitting back down and opening my newspaper up.
Now, there are only three words that can describe how I feel about myself from that moment, and every time I think back to it I curse myself to the pits of hell with them.
You stupid wanker.
You stupid wanker.
AN: Ok, so that was kinda short. But don't worry-the chapters following (yes, a couple are pre-written.. go me!) are the longest chapters I've ever written for any of my fics, so BE PREPARED. :D