*Ummmm yeah so I've been gone a while I guess... Sworry bout that! Thank you for all your lovely reviews on the last chapter. :}
I am nothing without pretend
I know my thoughts
Can't live with them
I am nothing without a man
I know my faults
But I can't hide them
-Wye Oak (Civilian)
I give a yelp as I land solidly against his chest. He grins and his canines are sharper and longer than usual. His eyes shine brighter and his claws dig into my hips where he holds me above the branch. My feet dangle over the open air. I look down and grab onto his shoulders- my claws are unleashed and they bite into his shoulders and draw blood. He groans from the pain and his muscles bunch under my hands.
"Mmnnn, well Nix, it's just you and me now," He says his voice deep and husky. I panic.
I push against him and try to get away from him. This can't be happening. Do I trust him? No, sir, I do not! I am not ready for this. I'm not ready for any of this yet. But I don't get to make that decision in his eyes. Well, fuck that; I'm making it my decision.
My claws really burrow into his shoulders now and he actually growls at me this time. I growl right back and start kicking my legs. He stops me by pushing my back against the tree trunk and wrapping my legs around his hips. He does it with insistence and his claws actually draw blood from my thighs where they are holding me and I gasp. He takes that opportunity to plunge his tongue into my mouth.
I respond automatically and enthusiastically as usual. We taste each other thoroughly and my hands find their way into what little hair he has. The adrenaline of the Chase has me responding more than I would like to. My wolf recognizes that Jett is worthy of us; not only did he beat out thirty or so other competitors he also managed to catch us. And we think of ourselves as pretty clever so this is a big feat on his part.
It's rough and animalistic. We kiss and it's more to figure out whose dominant than for pleasure but damn it still is pleasurable. He is the more dominant but only because he absolutely insists...with force might I add. I rake my nails down his back and he groans from the mixture of pain and pleasure. He cups my breasts and I cling to him with my legs. His palms are rough against the satin of my bra and I hum into our kiss with delight.
"I missed you," he breaths into our kiss. I ache with sadness at this reminder. I pull my mouth away from his to catch my breath. He just starts nibbling and kissing at my neck.
"Jett," I say trying to get his attention.
"Mmmhmm," He mumbles against my pulse.
"Wait Jett, stop," I whisper out. He doesn't hear me or he ignores me and he slides his mouth across the underside of my jaw. "Jett," I say louder. "Please stop. I need to think." He ceases his attempts to nip at my chin and looks at my face. He sees my anguish and automatically puts me down.
I push him away from me roughly. He takes offence and growls at me. Apparently this makes me mad because before I know it I've punched him in the stomach hard. He doubles over and glares at me once more.
"Stop this Nix," He says looking into my eyes with fierceness I haven't experienced from him. "You are mine!" He bellows at me.
"Not yet, asshole," I bare my teeth at him.
"Why do you always do this?" He yells.
"What? What do I always do?" I scream at him. He pushes me against the tree to keep me trapped.
"You always play this cold and hot act with me; either you want me or you don't, but it's never clear to me. It never has been," He finishes with his nose almost touching mine then he lets me go and walks easily across the branch. He runs his hands over his short hair.
"I play cold and hot?" I question. "Look at you! One minute you're telling me you love me and the next you're telling me that you only said it because you wanted to have sex with me!" He spins and pins me with a glare so harsh that I want to cower.
"Could you not see what that was Nix? It was a lie! I had to lie to you! They were going to try to pull you into it too; I could see it in Lupe's face. He didn't just want me gone; he wanted to absolutely ruin me! If he knew how much I loved you he would have figured out a way to make you suffer as well. I couldn't let that happen. He tried again when he tried to make you his mate! He knew you would hate being with him," He says everything through his teeth with malice. His anger scares me and I back up until bump into the trunk of the tree. "And he knew it would have eaten away at me everyday."
What he's explaining makes me close my eyes in anguish, because if that is the truth I've spent the last two years hating him for no reason what so ever. It means that I don't have a reason to run from him anymore and that scares me more than his anger because running is all I've done since my father's death.
"I...I," I stop trying to arrange my thoughts. Everything is becoming so complicated now. I have to read into everyone's emotions and analyze what's real and what's not and if I've had the entire Pack lie to me for the past two years. How am I to ever trust anyone again? Even Jett lied to me, which was almost crueler than anyone else doing it considering how much I told him and trusted him. Somehow I go from sadness to anger once more.
"It's not up to you to dictate how to take care of me, or how to protect me. Do you know what you put me through the past two years with that lie? I couldn't even function for almost six months; I wasn't eating or sleeping properly, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it because everyone hated you and I didn't want to drag Adelle into it, she was too young to have to deal with such a problem. I hated myself for not being good enough for you. Thank you for telling me the truth but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that I can't be with you anymore; that we are over. I don't care that you're back," I tell him and with that I jump from the branch to the one below and make my way to the ground calmly.
"You better fucking run Nix; you're mine whether you like it or not," Jett growls and launches himself from the tree after me with anger and pain in his eyes.
"Goddamnit," I mumble and I shift into my wolf form. My clothes are effectively destroyed in the transformation and that is going to not help me later.
And I'm running once more; skirting around bushes and over roots more efficiently now that I'm in my wolf form. I hear the heavy thud of Jett landing behind me. The first thing he does once he's in his fur is howl. He howls powerfully enough that the pack responds all the way from the clearing. I try to run as fast as possible but even though I'm lither than Jett his strength will help him catch me soon.
I keep running and I head back towards the Pack settlement. I can smell which direction I need to go in. I know I'm running away from things again. Like how I kept running after my father's death but I can't stop myself; it's instinct now. Anything bad happens and I don't want to face it anymore, I just want it to go away-I've been through enough as it is. My emotions are constantly giving me the option of fight or flight in any situation to help me cope and the majority of the time I choose flight, because it's easier to deal with than confrontation.
In wolf form you can still think like a human but you have this amazing instinct that helps guide you. Even some can tap into the instinct when in human form. I've never been able to but I've also never really tried to. It just always seemed so... primitive? Maybe I'm being too human but I like to think for myself, not have some strange inner wolf tell me what to do. Anyhow my instinct is telling me to get somewhere I feel safe. Somewhere safe for me is Adelle's farm. Something about helping with the animals and always being welcomed by her family made the place really grow on me. So that's where i head.
I stop for a moment because it's gone eerily quiet around me. Even the heavy paw falls behind me have stopped. I tense and swivel my head and ears listening for any indication or sound that someone's there. Where did Jett go and how is he so thoroughly off my wolfy radar? I take a few hesitant steps forward trying to be as quiet as possible. I feel like prey, and I never feel like prey when in my wolf form. Jett was always a good hunter I've just never been on the other side of the equation before. It's creepy and unsettling and well... kinda sexy...
Blake walks to the Pack's Tavern called: 'Last Call' ready to get shit faced. This was the worst night ever. Not only could he not protect his sister but his mother had gone on another of her strange psychotic fits when she heard about Nix and Jett being the last one's left in Nix's Chase. Sure, Blake had freaked out, but nothing like his mother. He knew why she did but he didn't know how to help her. Blake noticed her effort to stay calm in front of Nix, which usually came off as aloof and as if she didn't care but it was much better than what Blake had to deal with. He hated seeing what his father's death had done to his mother.
His mother had originally tried to keep her emotions bottled in front of Blake, in the beginning, like she did with Nix, but Blake had immediately seen through her facade. He'd tried to help her get through it, but when she'd describe her anguish of the loss as: 'Losing my other half as well as feeling empty and unstable.' Blake had lost any footing he'd gained. It didn't seem like she wanted his help anyway. He felt like she wanted to wallow in her absolute despair, which made him resent her even more.
So tonight he wanted to forget it all; his sister, his mom, and his lack of mate. A nice bottle of Jack Daniels and a willing female would help him overlook the utter mess that was his life. "Last Call' could provide both of those things wrapped up in a horribly shabby bar.
Blake walks in and of course Jett's stupid goonies were there celebrating their leaders new position of power. Tab was being rowdy as usual making Blake roll his eyes. At least it gave Blake the opportunity to maybe have good old brawl. He rolled his shoulders; he was kind of in the mood for a fight. His aggression needed many outlets, booze, women and fighting and he'd level out again.
He was especially pissed off because now that Jett was Alpha, Blake would have to reassert his spot as Beta. Blake was sure that Jett would want Tab as his new Beta, but fuck that noise, he wasn't letting two assholes run the Pack. They needed at least one level headed leader. Well, as level headed as Blake was. Plus, Blake was good at his job, he gave good advice and he was good at dolling out the disciplinary stuff.
Blake plops himself down at the bar and gets a drink from the Bartender Teddy. This name did not suit the bartender at all, Blake thought. Whenever he thought of the 'Teddy' he imagined a cuddly or weak person. Well, Teddy the bartender can only be described as one thing: a burly motherfucker.
Loud laughter rings out from the far right corner where Jett's crew is situated. Blake sighs exasperatedly. Those idiots needed to learn their place.
"Little shits," Teddy mumbles. "Think just because they old enough to drink and get a hard-on they can come into my goddamn establishment and be assholes. They're fuckin' lucky I don't throw their dumbasses outta here."
"Couldn't agree more Teddy," Blake says finishing his drink in one swallow. "Perhaps I could teach them some manners for you?" Blake asked turning in his stool to look at the gangly group.
"If you're askin' if you could could set about doing some cleaning up, then let it be known that there will be no objections from the likes of me," Teddy tells Blake. Teddy is a living breathing contradiction; looks like a biker with a bad attitude, then he spits out intelligent words and your mind just turns to tries to repel.
Tab was clearly second in command of the gang behind Jett, the others seemed almost like followers. He was glad to see that Quiver and Lace weren't with them, Blake liked them. Which meant the only girl with the group was Bedroom Eyes Scarlet. She looked about as moody as usual and just as hot. She caught his eye from across the room and instantly perked up. She bit her lip and looked away playing coy, which Blake knew she wasn't. Nova was there too looking quite content with himself but not really concentrating on the conversation; he kept glancing at his phone.
"Oh bar maid, perhaps you could bring us some more beers?" Tab coos obnoxiously. The waitress rolls her eyes at him but goes to get more. Blake clenches his jaw. One more stupid thing out of Tabs mouth and Blake would be on him like white on rice.
When the waitress returns to the table she sets down the beers and turns to walk away but not before Tab manages to give her a smack on the ass. Annnnnnnd that's all it takes for Blake to get involved.
"Why don't you keep your hands to yourself fucker?" Blake yells across the bar standing from his stool.
"Got something you wanna say Blake?" Tab sneers leaning back in his chair.
"Yeah, learn your place, you don't get to touch whoever you want," Blake says approaching the table. Tab has the audacity to stand up and smiles at Blake.
"Weird your sister said the same thing to me," Tab grins. Blake just about loses his shit when he hears that.
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Blake growls.
"Your sister Blake, said the same thing to me when I had her pinned to a tree," Tab smiles.
"Asshole really wants ta get his nose broke don't he?" Ted mumbles cleaning a cup. Red flows over Blake's vision. He feels his wolf rising to the forefront of his mind. He manages to shift just that extra bit so he gains a bit of muscle. From what Blake's heard not many wolves can do that.
Blake never says a word. He walks over to Tab's table hauls him to his feet by his shirt collar and drags him outside. Tab curses and protests the whole way out.
"Let go of me douche bag," Tab says trying to straighten.
"Gladly," Blake replies pushing tab off the front porch of the bar. Tab lands on his side on the ground. Tab, if he was smart, would stay down to avoid Blake's wrath. But this is Tab we're talking about, and he is rarely smart. Tab jumps up immediately and charges Blake.
Blake sidesteps Tab's rush and punches him in the jaw. Tab spins with the blow and almost goes down. Blake, ever the courteous fighter waits for Tab to regain his bearings before he continues. Tab shakes his head and stumbles clumsily.
Blake can only think of Tab touching his sister without her permission. He bares his teeth at Tab.
"You don't ever touch my sister again," He says pointing at Tab. He emphasizes his statement by upper cutting Tab and knocking him back a step or two. Tabs lip splits and gushes blood. It trails down his face grotesquely and stains his teeth.
"Hit me again Beta, show us all how you abuse your power." Tab spreads his arms out and grins.
The crowd that has assembled around them murmur at Tabs announcement. Blake looks around to see the large group looking at him in confusion. Not having heard the intial reason for Blakes anger they think Blake has simply chosen to prey on the weaker. Blake realizes what he's done. If the Pack believes he misuses his strength they won't allow his to enter the Beta challenge. Tab proves that he always has a plan and has orchestrated this one perfectly. Blake disengages from the fight and decides he'll simply have to combat with words. He walks right up to Tab to whisper in his ear.
"Well played Mutt. You win this time but don't expect the same at the Beta challenge," He growls. He moves away from Tab and continues, "If you ever come near my sister again, I'll make sure there's no crowd to save your sorry ass." Blake spits on the ground in front of Tab and walks away.
"Whatever you say Blakey," Tab laughs from behind him. Blake clenches his fists to keep himself from turning around.
"Blake, wait!" Someone shouts from behind him. He turns to see Scarlett sauntering towards him with a blazing look.
"Bedroom eyes," Blake acknowledges giving her an obvious once over.
He knows Scarlett's number. She loves strength and fights always get her going. Not that Blake as experienced her excitement before this night, but he has heard from other wolves about her.
"So, I'm thinking that you might need some tending to after your fight?" She asks trailing a hand down her chest. Yup, Blake thinks, she is definitely how I thought she was. Something about this thought makes Blake sad. Couldn't someone for once in his life exceed his expectations? Never one to turn down a good screw, Blake smiles charmingly at Scarlett and takes her hand in his.
Blake notices someone walking towards the bar. It's Adelle looking at her phone. She has grass stains on her back and some in her hair but still looks beautiful. Blake frowns at that thought. He's never thought of her that way before. At that moment Adelle looks up and meets Blakes eyes. She gives him a smile and a wave but loses her smile as she sees Scarlett.
"Yeah I definitely need some tending to," Blake says distractedly looking at Adelle as she walks up to Nova. He scowls and pulls Scarlett against him roughly. She giggles flirtatiously. He 'd already had his Jack Daniels, and his fight. Scarlett was his willing female. Less satisfied than he expected by completing his list, Blake leads them away from the bar and away from Adelle.
Alright, so it's still quiet ten minutes later. My ears swivel back and forth trying to hear any sound of wolfy movement. I stay low to the ground and keep my motions as hushed as possible. The leaves rustle above me from the wind.
I walk to the river again with no disturbances. I think I'm more scared now than I am when there were twenty wolves gunning for me. Unfortunately for me the perfume of my fear is going to alert Jett to my place more than ever. I cross the river and slowly make my way to the clearing. I stay near the edge of the clearing because if I step into the middle my location will be much easier for Jett to find.
The clearing is now void of any wolves. They're probably off at their cabins or at the Bar. I'm not used to being alone in wolf form. It's disconcerting: I like being with my fellow wolf under the moon. Birds burst from the long grass to my left and startle me into a run. I slow again once I calm down. I breathe heavily and my heart beats from the scare.
Out of nowhere I'm hit from the side and tumble into the clearing. I yelp and the second scare. I stare at the tree line having trouble making out who pushed me. Jett emerges from the tree line with his head down staring right at me. Well, I'm screwed. Too late to hide now I guess. I growl at him. He growls back and his growl makes mine sound like a Chihuahuas. My ears immediately tuck close to my head. In this form it's more difficult to not notice Jett's dominance. My wolf recognizes Jett as Alpha and doesn't like disobeying him. Were it solely her decision we'd be rolling onto our backs and presenting Jett with our bellies.
I carefully back away from him. He approaches with teeth bared and a rumbling continuous growl. He dwarfs me in size and it's almost comical that I'm even attempting to fight his will. He shifts seamlessly back to his human flesh. His eyes and posture show just how angry he is with me.
"Nix, it's time for you to shift back and deal with this," He says walking towards me with confidence. He has no reservations about being naked in front of me, not that either of us has had that issue before. Now that he's in his human form I'm less intimidated by him.
I turn and try to bolt away from him. He manages to tackle me and pins me to the ground. He sits with his legs and arms around me. I struggle wildly and snap at his arm. He grabs my muzzle and holds it closed. He shouldn't be able to control me when I'm a wolf and he's human. Somehow Jett has gained a ridiculous amount of strength since well before.
"Shift back Nix, or I will make you and it will not be pleasant," He demands. As Alpha Jett has inherited the power of being able to shift others at his will. I've only had it done to me once and it was very painful. It was one of the punishments that Lupe put me through. The thought of it makes me cringe but I refuse to shift willingly. I squirm in earnest.
"I hate to do this, but I am giving you ten seconds to shift Nix," He says and begins counting. I wait the entire ten seconds and grumble deep in my throat at him.
"Fine, have it your way," He grouses.
I immediately feel the pushing of his magic against mine. It feels like being burnt all over your body. If someone forces you to turn your wolfy magic off before you have decide to and that causes pain because it's not a natural thing. I twist and fight while Jett changes me. It takes time and when I am back in human form I shout out in pain. I breath heavily and fall limp against Jett's chest.
"You... are... such... a ...douche," I say while wiping the sweat off my forehead.
"Yeah well, you're stubborn as hell," He replies tightening his hold on my stomach.
I am more tired than if I had run a marathon, but I know the night isn't over yet. I have to act while Jett lets me recover. I know him and he will give me a few minutes to recuperate from the unwilling shift. He seems happy enough to just hold me. He strokes my hair and places a chaste kiss on my head. It makes me sad that I'm about to hurt him. I lean forward a bit then I thrust my elbow over my head and into Jett's face.
He shouts out and grabs his face and let's me go. I scramble forward on all fours. I barely get anywhere before I'm pinned to the ground by Jett's wait. My breath whooshes out of me from the impact. Jett grabs a handful of my hair and wrenches my head back. I cry out at the little pain.
"Stop fighting me Nix," He whispers near my face. His breaths caress the side of my face.