How do you know you're sick? How do you know you're so far gone, that no one can save you?
When is it too late? Those are some questions that I ask myself sometimes when no-one is around.
It's the small things that become important to you. It's how you hide your disorder. Do you spray perfume in the bathroom after you puke your meal? Do you think of excuses why you're not hungry ahead of time? Do you text you're ana-buddy, if your parents are in the room? I have had to make all of these decisions in the past year.
You're probably wondering who I am at this point. I'm Lexi Concorde, I'm in seventh grade and I'm part of the list. What is the list? I will tell you what it is; it's an exclusive group at my school. We all share a common problem; we all live a pro-Ana lifestyle. We recruit people for our group from time to time.
It takes guts to lie to someone and tell them that this will make them happy. It's hard to lie, and say that's eating disorders are all glamour. But with the right combination of charisma and wit, you can convince someone of it.
It's strange; I never thought that this would be like this. But here I am, practically running the list behind the scenes. I'm the recruiter; I cut down girl's self esteem and tell them that they aren't thin enough. I tell them that have problem areas. I probably sound harsh to you, but I'm really not that mean.
I guess I will end it here for now; I have to go pretend to eat dinner. I have a feeling if you stick around, well you might just get to hear the whole story.