Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me
Fuckin' Perfect – Pink
"I don't see any other way, you have to move in with me," Grandma said. You might be wondering why I had no choice but to move in with her. Well it's because my mother, in one of her drunken states, had slapped me and now I was sitting in the kitchen with Grandma with an ice bag placed on my left cheek. Wait, before you jump to any conclusions I would like to say that my mother is not abusive. She has never laid a hand on me before, she loves me more than anything, but I had hit a nerve. I know hitting a nerve isn't good enough a reason for her to hit me but strangely I had forgiven her right after I called Grandma. I didn't want her to hit me again and now Grandma wanted me to move in with her, which is not possible.
"I can't, and you know that. If I go, who's going to take care of mom?" I asked or rather mumbled. The ice pack had numbed my cheek.
"She will be going to the Brooke's Rehab Center. It's a wonderful rehab facility and that's what your mother needs and while she's there you're not going to stay in this god awful apartment all by yourself," Grandma said. I was a little upset that grandma seemed to thing the apartment was god awful but i couldn't argue with her. It sucked and i would much rather be living in my house, where I grew up. Right now, someone else was living there because Mom had sub-letted it to some family. I hope they leave when we go back because we have been living here for too long; I just want to go back.
"Remember the last time you put her in rehab? She relapsed after 3 weeks," I said.
"That's because she didn't stay through the whole program," Grandma explained.
"And this time I will," Mom said from the doorway. I noticed that she wouldn't look me in the eye.
"Mom," I said.
"Cami, you are my baby, and I can't live with the fact that I hurt my baby. I need to go to rehab because until then I will live in fear of hurting my daughter again," Mom said. Naturally I didn't want to put her in anymore pain or misery than she's had to suffer through already, so I agreed. I mean, rehab is going to be a pain anyway, when she goes through alcohol withdrawal. She is going to be crazy. Wow I can't believe I can talk like that about my own mother. I am so heartless.
"Fine, but you have to promise that after you're clean, you're not even going to look at alcohol, I don't care how hard it is," I said.
"I promise. I want to do this for you," Mom said.
"And you will, you are my daughter, so you won't give up twice, well you shouldn't have given up the first time but we all make mistakes," Grandma said.
"I love you," Mom said to me, ignoring Grandma
"Now you two better start packing," Grandma said.
"Mother, I love you, if you weren't here I guess I would have been a worse mother than I already am," Mom said.
"Lillian, I love you too, and I will always be there for you," Grandma said hugging Mom.
"Okay that's enough chit chat, let's get this show on the road," I said getting up from the kitchen chair.
"Cami, don't you want to say something to your mother?" Grandma asked.
"No," I said after I thought hard about it.
"Your mother told you she loves you, don't you want to say something to her," Grandma said. Mom smiled a little, clearly she was enjoying this.
"No, I mean a person should be able to say those three little words without expecting a reply and Grandma, I know you are a big shot psychologist but I don't need therapy," I said and walked out of the kitchen in a huff. Maybe I did need a little therapy but the point still remains. You can't force a person to say those three words because they might be little but their meaning is big. So I went up to my room and started packing up all my stuff, it's a good thing that I don't have a problem in being uprooted but then again Grandma only lives like a couple of hours away. Besides, this apartment is the downside of my mother's mental health and it is about time we leave it.
AN: I hoped everyone liked the prologue and I promise the next chapter will be up as soon as I am done writing it.