I went back over to the mirror and stared, at the girl who was Death herself. I heard Jade shifting on the bed and I looked over at her and she was still, with her eyes wide open. Her face took the breath right from my lungs and I gasped for breath. I flashed back to the last time I felt this way…

I tottered down the hall the house was eerily quiet and peeked in each door. One was closed and was begging to be opened, so naturally as all small children would I opened the fateful door. There she was on the edge of her bed, her glazed eyes red and crying. Her brown hair hiding her face as she looked at her artwork. She reached to her dresser and grabbed her razor, again. Why does he hate me so? I can't deal with this… With those words she brought the strange, sharp object to her wrist. I stared wide eyed as she pushed harder and harder. The blood cascaded down her hand onto the white sheets and I felt as if I was drowning. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Mommy no! She jumped and flicked the razor across her arm. Shit! Annabell!!! Go away! Look what you did! I ran to my room and cried for hours. Eventually Mother came in and apologized and explained to me her weakness and to never do it. Aren't I an obedient child…

As I came back to reality I felt a warm sensation and realized that my wrap needed changing already. I turned away from the shameful mirror and sat on my bed, Jade watching me change the bandage. She almost looked intrigued.

" What?" She looked hurt at the sharp words and I realized this was playing out almost as it was eight years ago, joyful.

" Nothing, just stop bleeding, its gross." I gave an exasperated laugh and told her that I can't and that I had no control over it.

" Oh… Well I have to go." Her calm composer was starling as if she was already used to it. Jade… No… I know what her being that calm meant. She might try this and guess who's fault that is. If this is the guilt mom felt I know why she took all that heroin a week later. I want to die too, well my gun is in the box… Im not sure, I might…

" Annabell! Come here!" I dragged myself to the hall and I saw mother standing with Jade in her arms, fainted.

" I have to take Jade to the hospital, stay here." I look at her like she just slapped me.

" What? What the fuck happened?"

" She took the knife and tried, uh you know. She cut to deep and I found her in a pool of blood. I gasped and I couldn't breathe again.

A day later Jade Camille was pronounced dead. The blood loss was too substantial. Two days later a gun shot was heard and a girl was found dead on her bedroom floor. A blood spattered note was found in her hand, it read:

Dear Mother, Char, and Anne, I couldn't live with killing Jade or my life. I love you all… Goodbye…

Love , Annabell Angelika.