A REALLY TWISTED FAIRYTALE


I was the misfit in the family and I can remember well how the other kids teased me about it, I stuck-out-like-a-sore-thumb-different, especially with my fair skin and long, reddish-brown locks. My siblings have it all: green skin, watery eyes, warts on their faces and the uneven teeth and toenails!

What was wrong with me?

Finally, Big Daddy Rumplestiltskin told me that I wasn't his, when one day he found me crying under a toadstool. He said that he found me on top of a very large flower and took me home.

"Now that you know the truth… you must go and find who you are my darling Red Riding Hood."

I felt happier as I knelt beside my two and a half feet long father and gave him a hug. "Thanks Big Daddy."

Then I started my journey. Big Daddy said the first place I was supposed to look was the huge flower where he found me. I donned on my favorite red-riding hood as I headed on my way; waving farewells behind my back at my family as they grunted and snorted their well-wishes for my journey.

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts with possibilities of who I was that I almost passed the huge flower. I traced back my steps and stood before the flower, but there was someone on top of it.

"Hi, Red. You lost?" The huge caterpillar never looked up from typing in his laptop but how did he see me?

"Hello, Mr. er…"

"Call me, Bert."

"Bert, I was wondering whether you can help me… Big Daddy Rumplestiltskin said he found me in that flower where you are currently sitting on… err… what are you doing anyway?"

Bert looked up at me. "Oh, I'm just posting some comments into Ariel's blogspot. She's finally got her legs!"

"That's great!" I grinned at him. "Okay, now can you help me?"

Bert scrutinized me then exclaimed loudly. "Aha! I thought you looked familiar… go on ahead into the Haunted Forest and look for the Big Bad Wolf, named Jacob Black."

"Big Bad Wolf, named Jacob Black. Got it. Thanks!"

And so I moved on. I sang 'A Whole New World' that Daddy Rumplestiltskin sings whenever I have nightmares. The Haunted Forest was creepy and singing helped me a lot.

"Jacob Black? Is anyone here named Jacob Black, around?" I called out.

Suddenly a pair of muscular arms grabbed me from behind, whirled me around and I found myself melting into a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Who are you and why are you looking for me?" He growled.

"A-are you… J-Jacob Black?"

He was surely big. He looked bad. But he was definitely not a wolf. In fact… he looked just like me. Then I dared to ask.

"Are you my father?"

Suddenly he released me and I saw that he was perfectly human. And damn he looked hot with only his pants on, revealing all those rippling tanned muscles to my heart's delight.

He looked at me with those eyes. "I am not your father. I don't belong to anyone. I'm-I'm alone."

I felt my heart reach out to him. I knew how it feels to not belong. I reached out and held his face in between my hands.

"Me too…" His eyes widened as I continued with a smile. "Do you want to be with me?"

His eye's sparkled but before he can say anything, something went past and grabbed me from behind. I screamed as I was lifted up in the air before settling down on a tree limb.

"We meet again… Jacob Black."

"Robin? Robin Hood? You already stole my shirt! Do you have to steal my girl too…"

"No duh! I'm a thief, that's what I do." Robin grinned menacingly and brandished a sword right under my throat. "I will steal your precious… Hey… what's your name, sweet thing?"

"Red Riding Hood."

"Oka-Wait just one burger-flippin' second… did you say you're Red Riding Hood?!"

I turned to look at him. He was a good foot-taller than me and his red-locks slipping out of his green knit cap, gave him his boyish good looks. I just had to ask!

"Are you my father?"

Robin tightened his hold and we jumped back on the ground, then turning to me said. "Father? I'm your brother! We've been looking everywhere for you. Our parents almost gave up hope but they still had the whole kingdom fly all those lanterns to the sky, on your birthdays."

"For eighteen years? My parents-they were looking for me? You were looking for me all along?"

My eyes filled with happy tears as Robin, my brother, pulled me into a bear-hug. Jacob ran to where we were and suddenly Robin seized him by the shoulders and I thought he was going to kill him. But he grabbed him into an equally bone-breaking hug.

"You found my sister, Black!"

Jacob blinked in confusion. "I did? Oh, I mean… I did!"

Robin grinned. "And the reward for the return of the princess is the throne… and the princess as well."

Jacob gave me a sexy grin. "That would be one reward I'm willing to take."

"Wait!" I screamed and the two looked at me in confusion. "Don't I have a say in the matter, at all?"

Robin frowned worriedly while Jacob looked a tad sad that I might not want to marry him. But I was overflowing with happiness at the good luck I was having.

I turned to my destined and wrapped my arms around him. "I asked you if you want to be with me."

"Isn't it obvious yet?" Jacob held my eyes in his blue ones and I couldn't look away.

I grinned. "Then, I'll marry you too."

Robin pumped his fist in the air and screamed. "The Lost Princess has finally been found. Come and let's tell the whole kingdom the good news."

Now this… was happily ever after.

THE END