Tuesday March 29th
Ricky Badger is the most disgusting and vile thing that ever crawled the earth. I swear to the Lord, he doesn't brush his teeth.
He's pretty much a walking STD and he likes to dry hump people a lot. But everyone at school tolerates him because he carries a lot of weed on him and he throws these stellar house parties with multiple kegs.
So I'm trying to prepare my lab book, when I feel a hot hand groping up on my knee.
I threw his hand off of my knee and gave Ricky a dirty look. "What do you require from my life, Ricky?" I growled at him.
"Awww, baby don't be like that." Ricky put his arm around my neck. His arm pit was opened to the world and this cheesey scent wafted about.
Ricky's not gay. Or bi. Probably bi-curious. Ricky's just gross. He'll hit on anything that has pulse.
"Don't touch me." I squirmed out of his grip.
"Did you hear about my house party on Friday night? It's going to be of the chaaaaaiiin!" He cried, snapping his fingers in the air.
"Well, now you know. Invite all of your friends." Ricky grabbed my pen and used it to pick a banana string out of his teeth. "You know Stan Holden?"
I groaned. Stan Holden was Ricky's older cousin. He was about three hairs away from having a full flegdged unibrow. Not to mention he liked to have dry sex with people in public during dances. He was as wide as a frigde and stood at a monsterous 6"8.
Ricky chuckled. "He said that Friday night is the night. The night that he's going to have you."
I looked up at the roof and mouthed a tiny 'why'. Ricky started to chuckle. How did this happen to me? I'm all stressed out over soccer, Ryan and Cam, I need to just dance and rid myself of stress. Now, I can spend my time running away from a horny neanderthal.
"Stan is delusional if he thinks that I'm going to get within a 2 metre radius of him." I quipped. "Now I for sure can't get hammered. I'm going to need to be sober if I'm going to avoid Stan."
"He's not that bad, TJ. I heard he's into all that S&M. He'll probably beat you with that studded belt he always wears."
We were both laughing, but at that moment I wanted to throw myself out of the window and smash myself against the concrete 2 storeys away.
"You know I was joking right?" Ricky asked.
I waved him away. "What difference does it make. He's pretty bad anyway."
Ricky stroked his hand down my cheek. That was pretty much like Flavor Flav running his hands down silk. If you've ever heard sandpaper rubbing together, you know how it sounds when Flavor Flav rubs his hands together.
"I'm still going to see you at my party, right?" Ricky asked all hopefully.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Wednesday March 30th
The fish tank looks pretty nice. There's a bunch of shells and marbles on the floor. Those neat little plastic seaweeds are stuck in there too. But the centre of attraction is the spongebob pineapple the fish can swim in and out of. That and the giant shell. Well giant for the fish.
There's this sexy female goldfish, who I've named Mermaid. She's sexy 'cause her tail is the longest in the tank. Basically all of the guys have been trying to bone her, but Puffy Greedy won.
Puffy Greedy is the biggest fish in the tank. By mating with Mermaid, he's pretty much established his dominance in the tank.
Then there's Michael Jackson. When we got him, he was full on orange. And lately, he's begun to get a couple white spots on him. Ryan called him Michael Jackson because he says that the fish was orange and then he turned white.
Yeah, I told him it was a little too soon, but Ryan nearly backhanded me.
Mom, Junie, Amelie, Stacey and a bunch of Stacey's girlfriends went over to buy a wedding dress for Stacey. One of Stacey's girlfriend's Susie told Stacey to drag me along because I was gay and that I probably had a good fashion sense.
I face-palmed and had to explain to her that just because I was gay doesn't mean that I have a good fashion sense and that what she was saying was just a stereotype.
Klaus said he was having his stag party tonight. I asked him if I could come, but he told me no because they were going to a strip club near Niagra falls.
Later (2:34am to be exact)
At first, all I heard was a bunch of stumbling. Then the stairs were being climbed. And them violent, violent vomitting. I broke down my door and ran out to see what was happening.
Klaus was throwing up all over the bathroom. Everywhere. On the mirrors, in the bathtub, in the sink, on the toilet.
"JACK, CALL 911! QUICK, KLAUS IS DYING!" Mom cried at the top of her lungs. She was pointing and screaming.
Dad emerged from the bedroom all angry looking mumbling about needing to go to sleep so he could get to work and asking himself how he raised an alcoholic.
I think I'm going to go to sleep. Klaus did this before on his 23rd birthday and he was fine, just really hung-over.
Sleeping through vomitting isn't really that hard. If you time your breathing just right and breathe whenever Klaus gags, it's actually quite relaxing.
Thursday March 31st (Early Morning)
Klaus is fine. He's just really hung over and probably is going to have to stay home from work.
Thurday March 31st
Coach Cardinal benched me as promised. And Dalton was making his usual snide comments.
After the game, I didn't want to go change in the damned locker-room. I just pulled off my jersey and heard the female specators squealing.
"TJ doesn't wanna change with us cause he's going to get turned on!" Dalton snickered and the rest of the boys joined along in laughter.
Face burning, I threaded my arms through my Northern Lights t-shirt and stormed off the field. My middle finger was twitching, begging to be used.
Honestly, I want to punch Dalton. If I was in a closed space with him, I would've probably choked him out. Just wrapped my fingers around that turkey neck of his and clamped until his eyes rolled back in his head.
Well I couldn't do that, but it'd be really nice to.
Guess who walked Ryan home today? Cam Kouros of course.
What happened to Ryan's best friend(s)? What happened to Daniel Falconer, the one who loved him so dearly? And what happened to Hunter Weaver, his pot smoking hippy friend? Did he just dump them for Cam?
WHY DO I EVEN CARE?!
If Ryan wants to go frolicking around with hot soccer boys, he can.
I am so horrible. I forgot on Thursday and I was busy on Friday, but I came through! Also, I want to thank all of my lovely reviewers :D You are the people I keep writing for.