Warning: This poem contains lots of swearing. Fucking loads of it.

When everything seems to bring you down,

When anything creates a simple frown,

When anyone says, "Mate, go and drown",

Tell them to fuck off.

When arseholes think you look like shit,

When teachers shout you into a fit,

When a wanker acts like a complete tit,

Tell them to fuck off.

When teenage girls just scream and moan,

When teenage boys just shout and groan,

When the shark comes in, he's called your loan,

Tell them to fuck off.

When your friend ignores you, every day,

When your cat shits on you, it found a way,

When your enemies act friendly, or so they say,

Tell them to fuck off.

If you've learnt from my mistakes,

You'll take my advice, and bask in the happiness it creates.


I guess you can tell I'm pretty unhappy at the moment huh?

Still, I hope you like it.

Luke. Out. Until another time.