I invited Lysander to lunch in with me at my household. I caught him off guard on his way to the market place, so not a soul would know of his last appearance. If i was to invite him otherwise, you see, one could obviously infer that his schedule would promptly be known to family and friends alike (me being his best and most cherished friend, i know).
'This is a swell place you got here Kleon' i hear him saying from the living room.
'Mother and father own it. By the love of Zeus, can you believe that? Probably cost them a fortune' i say, while preparing my sharpened sickle. 'But they got this way after i came around, so you can imagine I've been here i while'
'(Laughter) Wow, i guess you mean you've lived here all your life? But good for you, it's real fancy, i got to say. But one question, why do you have this velvet cloth draped across the floor? You have a cat?'
'Nah, no cat's around here' i say this while he stands in the center of my disposable makeshift carpet. Why? I never liked red dye for my rugs, so this disposable one won't be heartbreak for me. My other carpet, silk white, I've kept away from the living room, as i don't want even the smallest trace of stain or evidence lying around.
I'm up in his face now.
'You have something on your face buddy' i say
'Yea? Where?' He touches the side of his lips with his fingers.
When i whack his cheek with the sickle i drew from his concealed view, he stammers violently and hits the floor; my blade ripping sideways into his gushing mouth with a wet tearing noise. Lysander's eyes look up at mine, and suddenly his hands try to grab the handle, but the shock of the impact has sapped his strength and i kick him in the process. I repeat until i figure that its time to get down to business, and strike him with the blade between the eyes, his face splits right open, Then, i'm dragging the metal down, hearing incomprehensible gurgling noises until his eyes roll back and his kicking ceases.
As i wash the bloodstained instrument, I'm concerned with the new toga i had bought days ago at the market. It seems that it has come out in a new fashionable Purple variation which everybody seems to covet nowadays. There is no excuse, i shall return to the market for a refund. It's important to get your money's worth.
Also, i believe today is Sunday. The temple will be full, and i shall join the common layman in prayer, and bring gifts to Apollo's lifeless stone feet. Annie will be there. She will witness my blessings to Apollo (who, in all honesty, is but a statue that means nothing to me) which will no doubt cause her heart to melt.
But in the meantime, to dispose of this mess -
The funeral was spectacular. I had but two glasses of wine before the event, but i had managed to penetrate the hearts of all attenders.
'He was.... my best friend... Lysander, son of Linos, my heart goes out to you, and may the gods slay, without mercy (me shouting now.. a necessity to get the attention needed from every attendee) the scum who has inflicted upon my brother this violent death... cunning he might be, a scoundrel deserves no life other than that of a life of pain!'
Anastasia wept in my arms, and i too wept. The funeral ended and i got what i wanted without much effort to be honest. I was god of my own little world, and, of course because there are no real gods to begin with, tell me a better life in which to live by and i will surrender all my earthly possessions to you. There is no better life than the one i lead now.