She's pretty, but you don't really see anything special about her. He evidently does. You don't think she deserves him, but you don't really think that you're good enough for him either. It doesn't stop you from wishing that you were in her place though; that he would look at you that way, smile at you in that way. For a brief moment, you wonder if she feels the same fluttering in her chest that you do when he smiles like that.
Sometimes it's hard to breathe.
You'll be there to pick up the pieces if they break up, because that's what friends do. You just wish that you would have someone do the same for you afterwards because you're pretty sure that you will be hurting just as much as him when he cries over the girl he lost while you are right there, wanting nothing more than to take her place.
And you wonder how it's possible for a heart to beat when it's shattered into so many little pieces.
He's noticed that there's something wrong, of course. You've been friends for far too long for him not to notice the forlorn expression, the one you accidentally let slip through the mask you wear daily. 'I'm just tired', you say and he looks sceptical for a moment before deciding that he's not going to push it.
Suddenly it's so very hard to remember how you used to react to things; what your natural response would have been and you just have to trust that you're either doing a good imitation of yourself or he is too absorbed with other things to notice that there's something not quite right.
You don't stop seeing a friend because you've fallen in love with him and he has fallen in love with somebody else.
But he can't know. You'll never tell him, because you value your friendship too much and you don't think you could handle his reaction if he ever finds out. Being there as his friend is better than not being there at all. He'll never see you as something more than the guy he plays video games with, who laughs at his jokes and shares a shoulder when he needs one to cry on. And maybe, once your heart has mended and all these stupid feelings fade away, then maybe you can be okay with that.