I don't want to exist. That's not to say I want to be dead, or anything. I want to be here, on this earth. I want to see my friends and smile and talk to my mom. But, I want to be skinny. I want to be so small that I'm barely seen if I turn sideways. I want to hug people and have them think 'wow, there's not much to her', and maybe even say it out loud. I want everyone to look at me and feel fat, and say so.

I want to be that kind of non-existent.