"Why did that bastard follow through? He was supposed to provide back up so I could escape. I'm an agent, not a fucking assassin. It seems like you are the only person I can trust Schill, good to know there is someone out there…" he exclaimed, though he remained reclining upon the raft, wishing there was at least a little shade.
She rolled her eyes. Here we go again. "Well Lenz, I gotta say, it is a bit intimidating going against an army of that size, and I mean, I know you have an amazing reputation for always getting the job done, but you against the Hölle? It is not exactly a fair-looking fight."
He sat up, and looked straight into Schill's eyes "You said it yourself, I have one hell of a reputation! Did they not know that you and I were the ones who stopped the Hölle's plan to unleash their army of undead upon the world! Or that it was we who discovered the leader of the Drachereich, and countless other organizations!"
"Some of those missions are top secret still, but I am sure they knew of some of your successes." She cast her eyes down, she always felt uncomfortable under his gaze, like she was not worthy of him. "Come on Lenz, what is the real problem? We have been abandoned like this often, but you usually do not get this upset about it."
"I don't care for being stuck on this damn raft in the sun. You know I prefer colder climates." He dropped his gaze, and kept it upon one of the planks of the raft, he would not look at her if she could not look him in the eyes.
She crawled over to him, her soft calloused hand resting upon his "What is the real reason? Don't you dare think you can hide things from me, we have been working together for seven years now, I know you pretty damn well."
He looked down at her, until she asked her question, then he looked away for a moment until he said, "You know the fucking answer, don't even pretend like it is a mystery." His voice was filled with anger, though not at her. "You got shot. If we had back-up, that would not have occurred."
"Its not bad, it will heal up alright." She held her injured arm close to her, ignoring the constant pain.
"You are lying. I used to be a doctor, I can tell that it is in bad shape, and if you don't get proper treatment soon, it is going to start gangrening. As I said, things definitely could have and should have gone better." His voice seemed cadaverous, if a voice can truly be described thus.
"Lenz, I work for you, the best agent in the world. I was kind of figuring that I would get shot a few times. Hell, I am almost surprised that I have made it this long, I may have some damn good thieving skills, but they alone are not good enough to protect me. It is my opinion, that were it not for you, I would have died years ago, so thank-you, for always protecting me." She smiled sweetly.
"Fuck that!" she jumped back, nearly frightened. "There is nothing in your job description that says you are supposed to be shot at. That's my job. You are the one who is supposed to gather research on the target and make sure that we have everything we need. You should be far enough behind the lines that not even the best of cannons can reach you." The tone of his voice almost seemed to be accusing her of being an idiot, but he knew she was quite the contrary.
"Since when do I do as I am told? Besides, via the fact that I was shot, it missed you, so I would consider that a job well done. We'll be back to Wimari by early next morning, we can regroup and such once we get there."
"Unless you are particularly opposed, I can treat you once we get back. I don't see any reason why we need to disturb another doctor."
"You don't offer that deal to anyone else do you? You know it is kind of illegal to practice without a license. While I appreciate you taking the risk, I really don't want to see my boss in jail for something like that," she grinned, "it might damage your reputation."
"I only offer to people I know won't turn me in. Besides, do you really want to pay a fortune to someone callus old man, when you could have me instead?"
"Well, if I did not know why you don't have a license anymore, I would say fuck yes I would go with the geezer, but I know I can trust you. Just make sure that you have not forgotten anything relevant that you learned. I don't want to be a casualty, at least not by you."
"You won't die, I promise. I have never lost anyone…anyone that wanted to live, that is…" his voice died out.
She crawled over to him, and placed a hand upon his shoulder. "You said it yourself, she did not want to live. No one can save someone that does not want to live; it is a fact of life. Hell, if it was her plan to die, she shouldn't have gone to you. She should have just stayed in her own home and died there, it would have been better for both of you."
He smiled sadly, "Sure, whatever you say." He did not say anything for a long while, preferring to allow his thoughts to keep him company, rather than any sort of conversation. "How old were you when that happened?"
"I would have been seven years old then, but is that really relevant? I remember it well enough, it doesn't matter how old I was."
"I must say, why do you remember these things? It is not like it would have effected you in any way, did it?" He did not like to stay upon one thought too long, unless there was something more to understand about it. It seemed that there was something to learn of Schill; perhaps he had misjudged her for quite a long while.
"Well, um, you were…are a family friend, so, you know, I was interested in your well-being. I mean of course I didn't have any personal reasons besides that!" She knew that she had replied much too quickly, and he would notice, but maybe…no, he would also notice how much she was blushing and would figure out everything in a second or less. She was contemplating diving into the water so he would think about making sure she did not drown, rather than what she had just confessed.
"I see. It is not surprising then that you did not perceive the entire scope of the issue. It is hard to fully understand a situation when you are so removed from it." The last line he said with a hint of sarcasm. Though minimal, it was enough to make Schill hide her face behind her knees. "I guess then you did not note that she and I were in love?"
Her head flew up, "What! Why didn't you say anything? I mean, hell, I would have been nicer about it, or something. Damn, I feel like I have been such a bitch to you for so long, why didn't you tell me to shut up or something?"
"It's been twelve years now, I couldn't keep being sensitive about it, that would be unreasonable. I'm over it. Besides, she's dead, so its not like she gives a damn as to how people talk about her." His voice was nearly boisterous, a tone he never took.
She was hesitant, could she really ask him, or rather, should she really ask him…"Why did she do it? I mean, do you know why she killed herself?" She was facing him once more, and even closer than before, she knew that he must have been able to feel her breath upon his neck, and yet neither of them stirred.
"She left a letter for me. I won't bore you with all of the details, but basically it said that her father was forcing her to marry someone else. She could not bear to disappoint her father, but she could not stand to be with anyone besides me…so death was the only option. " He allowed his voice to die out, surprised that he had told her everything. He had never mentioned the letter to anyone. Despite the fact that her breath was not helping with the heat, he was appreciative of the fact that there was someone there beside him. Someone that loved him.
"Oh my god…" She could think of nothing to say, maybe this was one of those moments where silence is the only true response. She wrapped her good arm around him, holding him close, still silent. As she was significantly shorter than he (not a difficult thing to be as he was quite possibly the tallest person of their homeland) her cheek rested upon his chest. Despite how bony he was, there was still so much comfort for her. Though she was still nervous, after all, the closest contact they had ever had before was a tap on the shoulder or something of that nature.
"Its alright, it would appear that I do not need her. Why hold onto a memory, when I have someone better and alive before me?" He was tempted to kiss her, but he thought better of it. He was almost twice her age, and though she definitely loved him, he refused to take advantage of her. He kept her close though; it had been much too long since anyone had shown him so much affection. "It's getting late, you ought to get some sleep. I can keep an eye out for the enemy." He liked having her near, but it was beginning to be awkward.
"You sure? I'm not tired or anything, and I have really good vision." She pulled away slightly, not entirely sure why he was pushing her away.
"Yeah, I'm sure. It will give your arm a chance to heal some. I know enough about navigation to get us back home, you don't need to stay awake." He tried to use the most reassuring tone he had, as obviously Schill was not entirely all there mentally.
"Good night Lenz. If anything happens, you had better wake me up immediately. I mean it too, I don't like making you protect me, I need to be good for something too."
"I promise. And don't worry, things will get better, no matter what." He could tell that she was almost asleep. He kept an eye upon the North Star, and made sure they were on a straight course to Wimari, as the stars shone brightly upon Schill.