The music was loud. Too bloody loud. Halfway through the night and everything I'd taken had worn off already; what a bunch of rubbish. People were staggering around, eyes hazy and mouths smothered with either lipstick from other drunken slags or their own vomit. Fun as hell… until you came down from your hype and realised that actually, you were just flailing around in a mosh pit crammed full of paranoid schizophrenics and various bodily fluids. Really kinda disgusting.
My shirt was ripped, smeared with foundation from the girls and beer from the boys… I tore it off and threw it on the floor, making my way to the toilets out the back. Sure, there were toilets inside, but they'd probably be full of puke and gays doing stuff I really didn't wanna be around. No one bothered to take the two minute walk round to the back, so those toilets were usually totally empty and reasonably clean… good place to take a breather before re-entering the club and being immediately squished. The air was crisp and dewy; 2am in spring time, rather perfect weather. A bit cold… but perfect nonetheless. My breath floated out of my mouth in steamy clouds, reminding me of the many 'things' I'd smoked before entering the club. I swear, nothing I do works for long anymore; an hour or two and I'm falling heavily back to reality. And you know what? Reality sucks more than being stabbed in the face whilst choking on your own blood. Shocking, really. But hey, that's life.
Swinging open the toilet door, I heard a very distinctive sound… really quiet sobbing. First thing that came to my mind was simply 'what the hell?', seeing as it was the boys toilets and, well, boys tend not to cry. Not like that, anyway. I should know.
Walking round to the basins, I got the shock of my life. A girl was sat on a basin in the corner, hands clasped together on her lap and tears streaming down her face. Her hair was messy and springing up in all directions, and her makeup was in two lines down her cheeks. She looked up at me and paused for what seemed forever, tears collecting makeup from her face and splashing in neat black circles on her white summer dress. For a moment, her nostrils flared as if she were going to cry again, but then nothing. Not a sound. And then all of a sudden, a line of blood ran from her nose to her chin… she began crying again, stuck in a hysteric confusion as she attempted wiping the blood from her face. Her nerves were wrecked. I dunno what she took… or if she even took anything… but she was messed up.
After realising I had been standing there staring at her for at least two minutes, I tried walking past her and going into a cubicle. But I couldn't bring myself to leave the girl alone; besides, she had me rapt. Just the sight of such a disgustingly beautiful girl had made me overly excited, if you know what I mean, her soft sobs sending shivers up my spine. I'd never seen her before in my life. But a girl… a girl who blatantly couldn't handle or talk to anyone about her own problems -it was obvious she had some serious ones- made me want to get to know her. Because she was just like me.
Not once did she say anything, but when I turned back to face her she was looking at me with eyes that were screaming 'help me'. Her hands were now clasped tightly to the rim of the basin, to stop herself shaking. For some reason I explicitly remember noticing her chipped blue nail polish and the graze on her left knee… she looked like someone who had tried on numerous occasions to escape something but failed each attempt. I wanted to talk to her. But it'd been at least three minutes of silence and it seemed unholy to break it. I couldn't stand there motionless any longer. I had to do something.
Without warning I reached out quickly and slid her off the basin and into my arms, where she stood shaking and breathing patchily like a beaten dog. Her face was surprisingly soft and warm on my chest… it was only then that I remembered that I had long since discarded my shirt. I now had her tears, blood and makeup on my chest. My hands were pressed firmly on her back and yet she made no effort to wrap herself around me too. So I picked her up. Quickly ensuing was the first noise she'd directed to me all night; a high-pitched but husky 'ah!' as I pulled her closer to my face… I wanted to see her. Properly.
Again, a second silence set in and we stood for a minute- one leg each side of me- in the toilet at the back of the club. Her eyes were the darkest chestnut brown, surrounded by thick, wet lashes and cheeks that looked as if they'd been pinched red. Her lips were skin-pink and small but full at the same time. Mixed race, the best of both worlds, definitely. No way would anyone else have had a nose like she did with the lips that she did. It was almost as if her facial features didn't look right when scrutinized by themselves, but together, they made a gorgeous face. Despite that, I could tell she was pretty; in a subtle, messed up sort of way. She may not have been one of the lookers I'd slept with before, but I was getting harder every second I looked at her… she was mysterious. Enigmatic, even. I didn't know what she was thinking, 'get the hell off of me' or 'take me home'.
The silence came to an abrupt end when the theme tune to 'Family Guy' started to play, and I became aware that my hip was vibrating. Not my mobile. Hers. I put her down and she flipped up the screen, just slow enough for me to see the caller ID: Mum. There was a loud voice at the other end of the line and the girl screw her face up in aversion, constantly repeating the words 'yes mum' and 'okay mum'. Call over, and she stood staring at her mobile screen for a second before speaking.
"Damn. Damn, damn damn! I hate this, I hate this!!!"
Still cursing, she turned around and kissed my chest quickly, muttering a 'thank you' before running off out of the toilets.
I'd been left hard and alone in the toilets. I wanted to know her name. Frustration built up in seconds and before I knew it I was in the cubicle, 'relieving my excitement' and getting ready for the third spliff of the night. Besides; that's all my life was. Getting high and having sex.