An: This is my third story, please tell me what you think… Don't be afraid to give useful critique. Reviews are VERY much welcomed. - Angel

The Diary of Morgan Sinclair

September Seventh

People think I do it for attention, what they don't know is I have my own monsters to deal with. The only way to deal with them is through the blade, the thing that banishes the thoughts, the memories just for a moment… My life I look at it and shutter, I used to be such a good child, a pure one. Now look at me… Maybe deep down I believe those kids, those cruel kids. The ones that whisper while I pull my sleeves down farther. The ones that say to others that she cuts for attention and stupid things like that. Even my friends have abandoned me while I look to the blade. Only I want both, they say me or the blade, I say both. But I can't have it both ways, can I? No, I cant… Once I forgot my sweatshirt in gym, the stares… the snickers, I couldn't handle it even with Grace, precious Grace there with me. My shorts reaching to my knees barely covered my slices, when looking at me you couldn't see anything wrong with me, not at all. A bright girl with shining blonde hair and hazel eyes. A laugh that filled the room and a twinkle in her eye. What people didn't know was that I , the girl, had problems, major problems. Unless you went to my school then you would know, oh you would know. Those people like Sawyer, a brunette who thinks she owns the world. One glance at me leaves her in a fit of hysteria, she was near the 'freak', the one who cuts herself. What they don't know is I have more problems then cutting… What everyone doesn't know about the perfect Morgan. Perfect… Huh. that's what Blake said… You're a perfect little whore, aren't you? Blake… You ruined my life, the months of being your sex slave scarred me for life, but as if you care. The memories, the pictures the - I can't deal with this… I have to go get my blade…

- Morgan

September Eighth

As I look in the mirror I cry softly, but not the crying your thinking of… The way I cry is each scarlet tear falls down my arm. Slowly I watch the blood drip onto you and I feel complete. Each "tear" signifies a memory that I'm letting go… Whether it was Blake pushing me onto my knees or the moment I found Katie on her bathroom floor, dead. Gone… slowly gone… I was going to die, but Katie stopped me, but who was there for Katie? Not me… Her body on the floor her blue eyes staring back at me… the pill bottle in her hand. Slice…Slice…. Slice… that's what helps… You don't need anyone, especially Danielle she'll just abandon you like Katie and the others. The ones that walked away from you. A voice talks to me and comforts me, just as much as the blade. Dinner, I'll write when I can.

- Morgan

September Ninth

So, you've just had a taste of me…and my life… In case you were confused about the people, well I'll explain. Blake, my rapist, my torturer. Katie, my best friend who killed herself after she told me not too. Sawyer, the girl who hates me and doesn't even know me. Danielle, the girl who calls me little sister and loves me, but I'm not sure if she will abandon me or not. Then we have Grace, my dear Grace… Well, she's my girl who thinks that she can own me and what I do. But she helps me too, so I don't mind… I have so may problems its not even funny, or enough room to put on one sheet of paper… I have to go…

- Morgan

September Tenth

I lay awake here talking to my other me… A little crazy, huh? No, not to me… Her voice, like honey and milk then other times a knife of fire. She tortures me with memories and then sooths my crying with her intoxicating thoughts. Kennedy… I love you but only when you love me, the times you try to kill me I do not love, but you're the only one who truly understands. The razor glistens in the moonlight as I drag it across my veins. I feel my scarlet tears and sigh. My sister stirs in the bed under me. I sigh as I realize she'll never have to deal with this and I cry once more. My true tears, the ones in my eyes dried up long ago when I promised I would no longer giver Blake the pleasure of watching me cry and beg with him to let me go. I need Danielle but I cant bother her at four in the morning. I feel my blood pooling on the bed under my wrists, mom wouldn't care about it as long as I clean it up later. I feel my bracelet that says little sister on it get wet and I pull it off, Danielle wouldn't be happy about this. She says she loves me but that's what they all said before they walked away without looking back. My thoughts invade without permission and I stifle a scream that entered my lips. You should have saved Katie…. You shouldn't be loved by Danielle or Grace… You deserved everything Blake gave you, your nothing but a little whore… Get over yourself and slice a little harder… Just do it… Now… I drag the blade a little harder and I feel the pressure of my veins release. Goodbye Danielle… Grace… I loved you all… Go to hell Blake and burn… My sweet blood is leading the way to the blackness, my everlasting silence…