So here is version two, which is the one that I'm actually going to hand in. Please tell me what you think and I hope you enjoy.


The night was chilly, almost cold and the wet parking lot glistened eerily in the moonlight. My heels clicked as I walked quickly towards my Lamborghini. I had a bad feeling about tonight, but I was a swim coach and had to attend this meeting. Missing it would be the end of my career and the fear of that was stronger than my bad premonition.

Just as I pulled my keys from my purse, I heard footsteps from behind me. Spinning on my heel, I lost my balance and a rough hand's push sent me spiralling to the cold asphalt. I flipped over and landed hard on my back. The pain was as intense as a million fine needles piercing through my bones.

I gritted my teeth as one of the two men roughly grabbed my purse. He was scampering through it when I realized I still held my keys. Nervously, I tried to stab my car key into the other man's left foot, but to no avail. His boot was solid like a fireman's but also, my hand was shaking violently.

The man rummaging through my purse grunted and stopped. There was no money and nothing valuable. Disappointed, he looked down at me. I hated being so vulnerable. I grimaced in contrast to his grin as he saw my fourteen karat gold ring and Timex watch. He roughly yanked them from my shaking wrist and finger.

They left me on the ground, shaking and paralyzed in fear; the wet sinking through my clothes and sogging them. I couldn't move, not even to my car and away from the cold. I was only a few feet from possible warmth, and I couldn't get there. This was so pathetic. Crying to myself in frustration, I drifted into a cold, wet sleep beneath the street light and that of the moon.