(Five years ago)

"You know that if I leave I'm never coming back right?" Devan asked as he finished putting the remainder of his stuff in his Range Rover.

"Okay. I'm not worried. You are replaceable." I lied. Devan was important to me. I couldn't live without him. He was like the air I breathed necessary for every step I took.

So if that's true then you're probably wondering why he's leaving right. Well see the thing is Devan doesn't know how I truly feel even though we've been together for over two years I haven't once told him that I love him. Why? Because I'm scared. Hold on let me explain why.

The home that I grew up in was broken. My mom and dad were married for ten years before daddy just grew tired of mommy and ran off with some other woman. He left my mom to raise six kids all by herself with very little to no help from him at all. So seeing that all of my life has automatically shaped me to trust no man no matter how good they are to me. And trust me Devan's a good guy. I mean really good. He loves me for me despite all my flaws, salty attitude and all he takes it. Which is why it hurts to see him go but I can't build up the courage to open myself up and say those four simple words: Devan I love you.

"I wish you the best. But I'm out." He said climbing in the truck and rolling down the windows. He paused looking as if he was waiting for me to stop him. It was a lost cause. And I guess he got the hint because he drove off without another word.

"If only you knew." I whispered to myself as I tried to keep my knees from buckling. Everything within me was screaming call him back here but I knew I wouldn't. Because if there's one thing I hate it's admitting that I was wrong.