this is sweet escape.
"you must love yourself before you love another."
in case of fire, don't worry about me,
just let me burn
because whoever said that drugs
never worked hasn't inhaled the maker
of dreams and exhaled pure peace of mind.
i'm most alive during the last of the smoldering sky,
counting down until the night that
tastes of sweet release and a dose or three
spine made of hot liquid
and lips tugged high with my spirits,
the beat disappears and there's only a
constant flow of silk under my skin.
blinded by clouds of smoke,
and time drowned
by cigarettes and booze
are the moments when i know myself best,
instead of smiling like i mean it
and trying to let myself back in, trying to
remember how to love the face
in the broken glass again.
salvation is found only in threes,
side by side with my first loves and best friends,
whiskey, pipes, and cowboy killers
all in hand, we're girls that
don't know how to stop until we're numb,
succumbing for as long as the night is strong.
round mirrors reflect only dead,
bloodshot eyes and a cracked skull,
barely sane from years of abuse;
a mind isn't an easy thing to mend.
combing for schwag and scraping
for the last of my money and
the line between insane and
seems to never be as real
as the buzz under my skin.
curled around silver smoke and ash,
watching for the sky to bleed and clouds to burn,
i wait for my demons to return.
with arms wide open, i instead greet an endless gray expanse,
as dull and empty as the nightmares that follow for
i am nothing.