"So," my psychologist says very slowly, as if speaking to a small child, "You think you lived another life... as an alien?"

I sigh, ready to explain it yet again as she didn't seem to understand my philosophy. "No, I wasn't an alien then. I was normal just like everyone else! We all started out as aliens and then we died, and we came back to life here! It's like the theory of resurrection or something," I say, rather irritated.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," She says, shaking her head.

"Think of it like this," I say, shifting in my seat, "We're all repeats of past people."

"Yes, that's a common belief but how does that relate to your alien theory?" She presses, waving her pen in the air dramatically.

"Well," I continue, "Every past life we've ever had was on another planet. We were all a different species at one time, and then we died and were brought back as this new human form."

"Okay," She says with a frown creasing her brow, "and what made you think this?"

"Well," I say, shifting in my seat again as I organize my thoughts, "I figure all those stars and planets are out there for some reason. So, I figure we're slowly having our souls moved from one planet to another after we die. So, we get a small taste of all of them, you know? So we have the chance to fix our past mistakes until everyone gets it just right. See what I'm saying? And when you really think about it, I think it makes sense. Like when you have deja-vu, you're repeating something you've done in one of your other lives."

My psychologist nods slowly. "And you really believe this?" She asks me, "You believe you were an alien once?"

"Yup," I say, rather proud of my outlandish theory. The psychologist gives me an interesting look, before pressing a button on the intercom machine on her desk.

"Randy," She says, "I'm going to need a white coat with extra buttons."

And so ends the tale of how I got to wear my first straight jacket.