still breathing i swear to fucking god i'm
still breathing somehow.
don't know how i'm managing it
when i feel so

and i'm fighting myself all the time,
conscious of every breath i draw.

the oxygen passing through my lungs,
i'm rejecting it and accepting it at
the same time and
i don't even understand it so i don't expect you
to understand it either.

but i hate it so much, waging this
war on my own body.
mind over matter, they say, but
what if your mind won't listen to reason?


so alone sometimes...