Chapter 2: The Story
I don't know why, but it always starts out raining. There's just something about it I guess. I find myself just staring through it, each raindrop just coming down, like as many tears as I've felt, just gushing out of me. I don't remember the last time I was happy, I mean truly. I'm just sick of it.
Anyways, this is the story of my life, and probably for the rest of it too. I wake up to the sound of rain, this happened just a few hours ago. It's in the middle of the night, I can see the glow of the streetlight through the blinds of the balcony window. The first thing that comes to mind is just me, outside, in the rain, under that spotlight, with my guy. Like what would ever happen. It started raining inside of me now, tears dripping on my sheets. The dream I had last night was another one, happy, in love, perfect, my ultimate dream in life. But, whatever then, nobody ever takes the time to get to know me anyways, so forget it.
So, now you know how it starts... Time to go for a walk now. I always head down to the waterfront, that's my favorite park. I never knew what to do really. I've tried the so-called online thing, nobody cares on those stupid things. Bars? Well, that scene is a little dark, everyone still ignores me there too. So, whats left? I don't know... What do I do? What do I say to them, and how am I suppose to know who is or not? It's pathetic. If I'm suppose to be the shy one... Forget it. I know my dreams will never come true. Just an endless lonely life, filled with pain, emptiness, just sitting here, making horror stories based on the tragedy that is this horrible life and world. Well, fuck it then, I'll show them all how much sorrow and darkness can fill one heart.
One heart that's deserving the best light, the light that I've always shown that is taken for granted. So I guess this world is just that then, Hell... There's no other explanation I guess. Wandering endless in a world of rain, darkness, lonely, surrounded by evil demons, wanting to break me down even more that I already am. Nobody could care less about bringing me back up. It's over.
In the distance through the rain and dark fog, I see a figure, probably of a boy. As I get closer it vanishes, just like every boy that I've come to known. I just want to stay in my Dream World forever, I've had enough of this crap. Too many heartless, too many wrong turns. There's no other way to go... Their all out there, having a great time, being with the ones they have, and the evil ones that prefer just to fuck all day. Maybe this whole thing is wrong and evil then, so maybe I will just accept it.
I'm tired... of all this, I don't want to feel anything anymore... Just, to die... Wander endlessly as a ghost through this terrible world, and bring my pain to everyone I cross, just like they did to me. Show them all what it feels like then...
If you want to cast me out into the rain, then so be it... Fuck this...