Nine Years

I don't know why I'm standing in the middle of an old high school football field, freezing my ass off. Because of some stupid promise I made graduation night? I'm an idiot. It's not like it would be the first time I hadn't kept a promise… even if it would be the first time I broke a promise to you. Not that I've had the chance until now.

Did you know it's been nine years exactly since we last stood here? Nine years…because ten was just too cliché. I don't remember much about that night you made me promise: promise that nine years from now, no matter what, we would meet here at 7:15. I don't remember much, but I remember that promise. The only clear thing in a haze of blurs and party lights.

I was naïve back then, believed we would last forever. We could make long distance work - despite the fact that no one ever does, we would.

We didn't.

But that's okay, because I moved on and you must have because you never returned those calls I made. And when I got your answering machine and heard his voice along with yours, both sounding unbelievably happy as you did the whole corny message, I stopped calling all together. I was part of your past, not your present and it wasn't right for me to keep barging in. But I still believed then that I would be a part of your future. After all, I only had to wait nine years. Nine years is nothing in the scheme of things. All nine years does is age you a little and maybe change you a little. I would have waited twenty years for you. Even if you wouldn't wait for me.

I know it's stupid that I'm standing here in the middle of winter, just hoping that maybe you'll walk through those stands and join me in the middle of the field. Dance with me under the spotlight like we used to. But it's 9 O'clock and the spotlights have shut off. It's pitch black, I'm freezing my ass off and it's been nine years. Nine years of waiting for someone who probably had no intention of ever waiting in return. I was naïve back then and nine years is a long time. A long time to move on and forget promises made to long lost high school boyfriends.

You didn't show. I guess I never expected you to. I just hoped…

Whatever, I've got a plane to catch.