Sometimes I feel as though I am dying

Of course, I am

But subconsciously I can't accept it

I still want to live

Doesn't everyone?
It's stupid to think of dying

When you don't even know what it means

It's stupid to think your life sucks

When you haven't faced the reality of death

I assure you

And trust me on this

I have had a bad life to

That life gets better

At one point or another

And I have faced the reality

The realization that I near it

Every second brings me closer to death

Closer to those I lost

Closer to the heavens

Or hell

But when I think about it

Everyone gets closer to their death every second

But they just know it

I am just cursed to know mine will be faster

More painful than some

I'm just glad I have the chance to say goodbye

Goodbye to all those I loved

I am lucky—or cursed

Enough

To know before that fateful day

Where my heart stops

Stops beating in my chest

And I drown in darkness

Or light, who knows?