Chapter 4: You're a spy now Orla
Meanwhile, back at Z9x, Liz Leone, a purple scaled humanoid female Iguana-like lizard being was feasting on pastries she had forced the Packnits to cook for her, and lounging around on Orla's favorite sofa. Liz's odor was so horrible that the plants were beginning to die.
"Packnits, rub my feet!" yelled Liz. "And bring me my shapeshifting unit!" she demanded.
"Why should we?" replied the packnits.
"Galactic Law enforcement officials are after me for terrorizing and vandalizing this well known institution," explained Liz. "I need to disguise myself as Orla via shapeshifting that way I won't get blamed for the mess I'm making of this place"
"But we like Orla!" protested the packnits. "I understand that you halfwit packnits have warm feelings towards Orla," replied Liz. "But as it stands, my first duty is to the Laser group and now you're just getting in the way!" added Liz, who began blasting the packnits with her ray gun, killing them. Liz walked over to the special cabinet where Orla kept her shapeshifting device. Orla usually used the device to blend in with the locals when she visited planets that had unhealthy attitudes towards Zecturians. After grabbing the shapeshifting unit, Liz hastened to the bathroom toilet, where she flushed the dead packnits down the drain. Directly after she had done this dark deed, she heard a knocking sound coming from the door. There was not a shadow of doubt within Liz's mind that the perpetrator of the sound was none other than the Vulcinian police force. "You have exactly ten seconds to open this door, if you do not comply, we will destroy it and drag you into the ship we have waiting outside for you" said the voice of the officer behind the door. Liz quickly grabbed her device, and converted it from its Z45-Zecturian Secret Pleasures Massage mode into its shapeshifting mode. Then she pulled the tiny red handle on the device and pointed the device towards herself, while mindfully willing herself to take on the form of Orla, Orla the Mystical. Liz then made a duplicate of her own body, which she hid from view using a cloaking device, causing her Orla form to become weak, unsustainable, and temporary. She then opened the door, as "Orla," even though in reality, her Orla self was only a temporarily sustainable life form being controlled by Liz's powerful reptillian mind.
"Orla? Orla the Mystical? You did all this? My name is Sargent XK30. I never thought I'd say this to you Orla, but you're under arrest. What did you do to all the supervisors?"
"Well, Sargent XK30, some inspectors came in and banished the supervisors. They found the work of the supervisors to be inadequate at best. But that is beside the point, you caught me red handed. Make no mistake, I will escape your inter-steller jail and take over the galaxy. I can teleport myself anywhere I wish, I will fade as soon as you take me!" said the fake Orla body controlled by Liz. The police didn't buy Fake Orla's crazy teleportation ideas, so they arrested her anyway and took her into their ship. Yet only approximately five seconds after they took her into their police ship, Fake Orla faded into thin air.
"Orla escaped!" said Sargent XK30. "Drat, we'll have to get the High Council and the Federation after that crazy girl" he added.
Liz de-activated her cloaking device and became herself yet again. "Lizzy you genius you've done it again" she muttered to herself in the mirror. "Luckily, you're off the hook," she added. "No one will ever find you" she said to herself. But there was yet another knocking on the door. This time it was the real Orla, along with Zardeth the 3 foot tall alien spy.
"Liz the charade is up. Hand over the stolen shapeshifting device or face the consequences" said Zardeth, pointing a laser gun at Liz.
"Of course I'll hand over the device. It has served its purpose anyway. Galactic law enforcement squads will soon be after you Orla, they all think you're the one who did all this, and they'll never believe you if you try to convince them it was some reptillian posing as you! White coats will escort you to the funny asteroid field!" said Liz.
"Were you born without a second brain in your head? Orla's not going to want the device, because if the cops see her with it, she won't even get a trial, so I'll be taking that myself" said Zardeth as he violently snatched the device from Liz's hands. But no sooner had he done this, the device dissapeared. It had only been a hologram.
"I HATE ADVANCED CLOAKING TECHNOLOGY! IT MAKES LIFE SO DAMN CONFUSING!" thundered Zardeth.
"Mmhm, exactly!" said Liz as she ran off cackling to herself and pushing the sixth button on her belt, creating an anti gravity field allowing her to float upstairs.
"Ooh, she's good at that," said Orla giggling. "I always have to push 5 on my warp drive consoles!" "No time for jokes, we must make haste and follow Liz! Follow her scent, hell, she smells enough to usher in a New World Odor!" said Zardeth. So he and Orla trotted upstairs in their noisy boots, and entered Suite P-U, where foul smelling Liz and a strange and creepy little girl could be seen. She had red hair, an orange dress, and yellow eyes that were almost buttery in appearance.
"Alright no more nonsense, where's the real devi-My god...you have a Mini Me!" said Zardeth. Liz snapped her fingers. Within an instant, a little lizard boy came into the room.
"You have two of them" said Zardeth, scratching his head, looking quite puzzled.
"They really come to you that easy?" asked Orla.
"Yes. What do you know about raising kids?" asked Liz.
"Tons. I was a mother of two myself" said Orla.
"You know Orla, it's a lot easier these days, thanks to these new patented Alternate Life chips that I stole from the Solturah Corporation's top-secret warehouse!" said Liz, pulling out some computer chips from her pocket.. She continued. "Once these chips are inserted into a subjects brain they believe they are taking on a role, more specifically the role of said individual's 'multidimensional self'" she explained.
"Multidimensional selves? I don't buy such rubbish," said Zardeth. "I didn't spend three thousand light years in spy academy only to find out I would have led a happier lifestyle as a computer screen repairman on Planet Tanokra" he pronounced. "You don't have to, connossueir of flat panel screens," said Liz. "See, that's the beauty of it all, you're not the one who has to know that stuff, your children, or should I say 'children in theory' can be easily controlled, because it's not just about multidimensional selves, it's about an infinite amount of them. In a sense, everyone is everyone, but not exactly. See, I choose which alternate self I want these kids to be by pushing a button on a remote," said Liz pushing a button on a tiny silver remote that looked like a gameboy. .
"How dare you! Just think, those chips could be used to inspire people to do crappy jobs in nightmarish factories. What a great breakthrough they could be for Solturah, Orla, and industrial capitalism, how dare you steal them from our glorious corporations" said Zardeth.
"Ahem. I did it for the lolz, little buddy. If you don't mind I'm trying to show your girlfriend how these chips work on these children" said Liz.
"Who do the kids think they are now?" asked Orla.
"Number 5, the girl now thinks she is a nurse," said Liz handing the little girl a shot of sleeping dust to administer to Zardeth. "Number 4, the boy, believes he is a deranged ninja!" said Liz, handing over some katana blades to the tiny large headed boy.
"I always thought kids grew up too fast, but woah, that is like, taking it to a whole new level of bizzaro, Daddio!" said Orla.
"Man, what does society think of these little boogers with those chips in them?" asked Zardeth.
"Everyone assumes they have a mental illness. They talk jibberish, are awkward in social situations, and see and talk to people that aren't there, so they get put on all kinds of crazy pills, which work to further profit the corporations. I'm trying to shut them down, I'm not the one responsible for all that nonsense, in fact, The Laser Group is trying to save the universe, just like you are. We're controlling adults and children with chips to bring down Solturah, the corp that produced them in the first place. You should join us!" said Liz.
"Doesn't matter, you commie!" said Zardeth. "An order is an order, and you're toast" he said, pulling out his ray gun and attempting to shoot Liz dead.
"Ha, you missed. I don't think these chips should belong to Solturah, I think they should belong to me and the Laser Group only" said Liz.
"I am so not used to this stuff yet!" said Orla.
"Once a spy always a spy!" said Zardeth. The two kids began engaging Orla and Zardeth in martial arts combat. After overcoming them, and keeping them restrained, Orla and Zardeth tackled Liz to the ground, forcing her to surrender the device, paralyzing her with a stun gun. After grabbing the device, Orla and Zardeth raced off to the escape pods to take the devices back to Plasma Secret Agent Headquarters.
"Come on Barbie, let's go party" sang Zardeth.
"Ah-ah-ah-yeaah!" replied Orla.
In the newly rebuilt Palace of Garzack...
Lord Garzack was sitting and hiding in a small room in his palace. His minions believed that they no longer had a leader, due to the fact that Orla and Zardeth had taken out Muldoom. "How am I going to tell them the embarresing horrible truth?" Garzack thought to himself. "That they were reporting to me the entire time, a miserable welp of a failure" He could hear a cocktail party going on in the living room, and began having many mixed feelings. He was debating in his mind whether to show his 'wretched self' to his former disciples. He finally made up his mind to show himself. Little did he know that his minions were celebrating the fact that they had lost their leader. He put on his best violet robe, left the small room, and showed himself to the crowd in front of a podium, and he began speaking through a microphone.
"I am back, peoples," said Garzack proudly. "And let it be known that neither my physical body nor my fighting spirit have subsided, though I was at the lowest point I have ever been in my life" The crowd, comprised mostly of ant people, which had previously been dancing and drinking, engaging in sinful pleasures, all stopped immediately, and stared in shock at Lord Garzack.
"Muldoom told us you were dead," said one of the people in the crowd.
"Yes, indeed he did" replied Garzack. "But this was not so. In fact, it is my upmost pleasure to report that Muldoom is indeed deceased. He was a traitor. I killed him" said Garzack, who seemed to be attempting to "keep up appearances" to protect his reputation.
"Oooooooh," said the crowd of ant soldiers. "What did he do to make you think that?" they asked. "He gave away important nuclear missile secrets. Whatever. Anyway, the point is, your fearless leader has arisen. I, Lord Garzack have returned. I won't let wormholes decide my fate" said Garzack.
"Wormholes?" asked one of the ant people in the crowd.
"The reason that you good folks haven't heard from me in ages is because my sweetheart Orla sent me through a wormhole. I saw the most terrifying evils on the other end flash before my eyes, before waking up in a small locked room of my palace. I was finally able to break the door down with my might" said Garzack.
"We're all so impressed. It took you five weeks" said one ant soldier.
"Yes, well, I was luckily able to live off of some cheese and wine that had been stored in there. Besides the point, what I am here to talk about today is the fact that the Laser Group is to report to me from now on, instead of my former companion" said Garzack.
"YES SIR!" responded every ant soldier in unison. They were undoubtedly all members of LASER.
"If the ramifications of wormholes and galactic bombshell blondes are not compelling enough to hold your attention, then let it be known that we face a much stronger enemy than ever before. A group of spies determined and dedicated to steal the Z9x devices from right under the grasp of our noses" said Garzack.
"That made no sense whatsoever. A nose can't grasp anything" said one of the soldiers.
"Silence, fool. You haven't seen what I saw on the other end of that wormhole, now have you? I saw everything, everything in the universe I tell you. All at once. It drove me to the brink of madness, yet it inspired me to live on and fight for my vision" said Garzack.
"What is your vision?" asked the crowd.
"A large group of like minded individuals living in luxury with me in my palace aboard this mothership. When I say large group, I mean ninety percent of the population of Flora-1 Zecturiah. Laser informants tell us that there is a storm coming that will destroy the planet, the storm is being caused by the devices at Z9x, and I won't rest until every last one of those devices is in my hands. My number one concern is the safety of the Floran people. It is for this reason that I am hoping that those commited to the service of LASER will be willing to land in appropriate areas in and around Flora, and attempt to convince the citizens of the grave dangers that await them if they do not come live with me in this palace" said Garzack.
"Must you force them to live with you? Why not use a weather control machine to contain the storm? You're just lonely again aren't you?" asked one soldier.
"No, not really. I plan to use most of the populace as scientific research projects, and to train them to become bionic super soldiers, so that we can destroy more planets and bring more and more people to live with us in this ship in harmony, in rooms tailored to our energy levels" explained Garzack.
"What do you plan to do about Orla?" asked someone in the crowd.
"Orla! ORLA!" shouted Garzack. "ORLAAAAAA!" he shrieked, reaching out his arms to the stars.
"What good is my life if I cannot have Orla?" thundered Garzack. He took a knife to his heart and was about to stab himself, before aid and assistance began rushing in. The crowd was convinced that their leader had lost his mind. Garzack's most loyal minions Montrah and Ithra came walking onto the stage, and began giving him bottled water and breath spray, while taking the knife away from him. Garzack seemed to be in some sort of coma, but he quickly recovered after being fed some fresh meat.
"You seem to be all hung up on Orla, most honerable Lord Garzack" said Montrah.
"What exactly do you hope to do with her anyway?" asked Ithra.
"I love Orla, she is the single greatest creature I have ever laid my eyes upon" said Garzack. Montrah and Ithra exchanged glances.
"Isn't she a distraction from the larger plan? Don't you think this might have been what made you screw up the last time?" asked Montrah. "Distraction? Hardly. Orla posesses many incredible powers, having her by my side would be the ultimate asset. Mark my words, I will make Orla twirk for me, err, I mean work for me, if it's the last thing I do" said Garzack. The crowd was laughing and booing "Garzack likes girls? I had no idea" said Montrah.
"Well, most would be unfit to serve me, but not Orla. Rest assured, Orla will be my queen some day" said Garzack.
"You're well on your way to that day, alright, you're wearing her boots, what's next, her dress?" exclaimed Ithra.
"WHAT? THESE ARE NOT ORLA'S BOOTS NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY LOOK LIKE THEM" thundered Lord Garzack.