Second version with new line breaks that failed. Less confusing.
"Hey Nico, it's me."
"Oh, hey. What's up?"
"I'm going to be late today - half-hour-ish, okay?"
"Why are you feeling the need to inform me of this?"
"Oh, are we over it now?"
"Over what, Taylor?"
"Needing to know where I am at all times. I was wondering how long you were going to be keeping both eyes on me after the accident. I'm glad you're over it is all."
"Uh, in that case, I have something to talk to you about when I get home, okay?"
"Like... what? Should I be worried?"
"Not really. We'll talk later, okay?"
"Hey! How was the plane ride?"
"It was... Well, you know. I don't really... I wished you were there."
"Yeah, sorry. Where are you? Did you get to where you're staying?"
"Yeah, Greg's house is down here, it's okay. There's food and stuff, so... We're going to take a walk around later, but I think I need to crash."
"Ha, you sound like me. Just how many of those pills did you take before you got on the plane?"
"Uh, not enough."
"Ha... Well, I'm glad it went okay enough, anyway. Just checking in, you know, making sure you're not dead or anything. Plane didn't crash, didn't get taken over by terrorists or a contagious disease like in that House episode..."
"The only reason all those people were getting sick on House was because because the one guy was an idiot scuba diver and the rest were being paranoid freaks. Sound familiar?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"So... day one of four months."
"I think we'll be fine."
"Yeah, no problem. What's four months, really, in the big scheme of things? Like, a third of a year. That's nothing."
"Nico, you know you agreed to this."
"Yeah, I know. I want you to have fun, do productive things with your life. Just don't forget to call me. Like every day."
"Of course. And you can focus on your art and... it'll be fine."
"I miss you already, Taylor."
"We can... have phone sex?"
"I think phone sex is the creepiest thing in the entire world."
"Good, me too. We'll work it out, Nico. We always do. Let's just save the 'I miss you's', okay?
"Yeah, okay. I gotta go anyway, Gary's here, we're going out with him and Andy."
"You shouldn't isolate yourself when I'm gone, you know. You should go out with your friends or something."
"I'm laughing so hard on the inside right now, you don't even know. He's honking."
"Okay, I guess I should sleep anyway. Tell Gary to keep his dick in his pants for me, won't you?"
"No, I most certainly will not. Call me before you go to bed tonight?"
"Yeah, I will. Have fun."
"You too. I love you. Talk to you later."
"I love you too. Later."
"Uh, hey Nico. What's up? It's kinda late at night."
"Oh shit, sorry. I was just having dinner by myself and thinking how awesome it's going to be to have you back next week."
"I mean, I think I did pretty well with this whole four month thing, but fuck. I can't wait to see you."
"Nico, I need to talk to you about something."
"Hold on, let me sit up."
"You were sleeping? I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I need to talk to you."
"Nico, I... was talking to this professor today and he told me that someone was interested in me for this amazing summer internship. They all speak English, and I'd be doing this great work with these incredibly smart people, and it'd be a ton of experience to put on my resume. And I really want to do it... but I'd have to stay another, like, two and a half months. I'd be back with plenty of time before the fall semester. What do you think?
"It's only a couple more months."
"Nico, talk to me. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's only two months. You should do it if you really want to - I mean, not that I need to give you permission to -"
"I do need your permission. That's why I'm asking. I can't stay if things aren't going to be alright when I get back."
"Of course... of course they'll be alright. I... okay. Two months?"
"Yeah, just two months."
"I... okay... I mean, it's not like I... there were no real concrete plans for this summer anyway, so. Yeah."
"I didn't make any plans yet, Nico, I -"
"No, of course you did. It's fine. I mean, things are pretty boring here, and I need to focus because I'm showing some of my stuff at the gallery in a few weeks, and... yeah. You'd be bored by that anyway, and I'll be so busy, it's probably good you're staying. Two months is nothing, we'll talk and Skype and whatever."
"Your gallery -"
"Oh please, I've done it before. As long as you call me and calm me down beforehand. I mean, you can't turn down experiences just because of a relationship. People who do that end up alone and depressed in the end anyway."
"I don't like the way you're -"
"It's just another two months. You know I'll be here, so have fun, don't worry about it, okay?"
"I love you."
"Okay, I've - oh shit, I've got class now. I'll talk to you soon."
"Fuck, it's a Saturday. Fuck."
"Fuck, you were sleeping. I always forget about the time difference, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Taylor."
"Fuck, Nico, it's... it's 4:30 in the morning here. Why are you calling?"
"I need to tell you something."
"Are you crying? Shit, I knewsomething was up. Nico -"
"Listen, Taylor. I... I was upset, and... I'm so - sorry, I'm so -"
"Nico, I can barely understand you. Breathe, talk to me."
"Something happened, today, I -"
"Are you alright?"
"No, I... I..."
"What happened? Are you physically alright?"
"Yeah, nothing like that. I just..."
"You just what? Nico, you're scaring me."
"I kissed Gary."
"He was really upset because he and Andrew broke up, and I... I was really upset, and we just... we kissed. Not that much. But we did. I'm so sorry, Taylor."
"We just kissed, I promise. Taylor, I'm sorry, it didn't mean anything."
"Right. Okay. Well, I need to get back to sleep, I have a big day tomorrow."
"Nico? I think we should talk."
"Oh, uh, sorry. Nico's not here right now, this is Gary."
"What. The fuck. Why do you have Nico's phone?"
"Is this Taylor?"
"Yes, this is fucking Taylor and I want to know what the fuck you're doing with my boyfriend's phone. He told me about your little kiss or whatever and I want you to know that the first thing I do when I get back is going to be kicking your fucking ass if you don't give me a damn good reason -"
"Woah, calm down. We weren't fucking or anything, if that's what you're -"
"That's exactly what I'm implying and you have ten seconds to tell me otherwise. Go."
"He was setting up an easel, or something, like an idiot, I don't know what he was doing but he was under it and it fell on his face and knocked him back into the coffee table - we're at the hospital now, I was going to call you but he said not to. Was that under ten?"
"Shut up. Is he okay?"
"I think so. He was bleeding a lot on the way there, but I think they just gave him stitches or staples or something, I'm still waiting."
"He wasn't... going to call me?"
"...Well, aren't you two fighting?"
"I don't see how that's any of your fucking -"
"Look, Taylor, about the kiss - it wasn't just Nico, it was both of us, and he was just missing you and being a freak about you not caring about him anymore, and Andrew had just dumped me. It wasn't a big deal. Swear on Barbra Streisand."
"How about you don't tell me what's a big deal and what's not, okay?"
"Taylor, don't break up with him. He loves you and he misses you and he made a - wemade a mistake, alright? I don't feel that way about him and he doesn't feel that way about me. So..."
"I wasn't going to break up with him, dipshit, I just wanted to talk."
"Fine, okay. I'm just trying to help."
"Well I actually hate you."
"Okay, I just - Nico!"
"Nico? Let me talk to him."
"Ugh, Gary, they stapled my head and it hurts. But I survived, somehow. I'm still among the land of the living, barely. Do you see my head? They literally put twenty staples in my head. Okay, it was like five. They say I don't have a concussion or anything, though, so at least I'll avoid that catastrophe. They wanted to shave my fucking head though! I swear to God I almost slapped that doctor... just glad you're alive, man... ha, I bet you were just sitting out here worrying about me, weren't you?... Nico, you were like, gushing blood..."
"Can we leave now? ...Yeeah. I just wanna call and whine to Taylor, but he totally hates me now and it's all your fault... Oh, shit, I was actually on the phone with him...
What? Hello? Taylor?"
"Nico? I just called and Gary said you were at the hospital. What happened?"
"Oh, I hit my head."
"Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend? I heard something about 'gushing blood', that's not 'hitting your head.' You should have called me."
"I was a little bit busy being in extreme pain."
"There's my Nico."
"Yeah, it was actually my face too, oh my god. I guess it's good you're gone for a little while longer because at least my face won't be disfigured anymore and my stitches will be out."
"Yeah. Listen, Nico..."
"I'm so sorry, Taylor. Really. Like, I couldn't possibly be any sorrier than I am right now, I swear."
"I believe you. I just don't like the idea of you kissing him. At all."
"Gary's making faces like you were mean to him."
"Well, I was, and he can get the fuck over it."
"Okay, okay, calm down. It won't ever happen ever again."
"Why'd you do it, Nico? To get back at me?"
"No! That's not it. I was just feeling kinda lonely, I guess. I told you you could stay..."
"That's right. You told me I could stay. Which means I assumed you wouldn't be so upset that you'd kiss the first upset asshat you went out with."
"I'm sorry! It's just..."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too."
"Don't sigh at me. You don't..."
"I don't what?"
"You don't miss me nearly as much as I miss you or you wouldn't be so happy about not spending the summer together."
"I'm happy about the job, not about not spending time with you."
"...It's the same thing."
"It's not the same thing, alright? Nico. I'm going to say nice things to you right now, and you're going to listen because I'm not saying them again."
"Nico, I love you -"
"I know that."
"Do you want me to be nice? Because I can stop. I can talk about how I'm going to kick Gary's ass when I get back, how about that?"
"Okay, I'll just shut up."
"Nicholas Christopher Anderson, I love you, and you are the most important person - the most important thing in my life. In no way does me taking this job mean that I don't wish you were with me every single day. Everything I do ends up not just affecting me, but affecting us. And if I can make a lot of money? That's good for us. But if it means you're going to get so freaked out about it that you decide you don't want me anymore, I'm going to be pissed, but I'd come back because that's how much I love you. Do you understand?"
"Can you please remember what I said and try to restrain yourself from hooking up with anyone else for the next two months?"
"Yes. We didn't hook up."
"Whatever. Just make sure he doesn't make a habit of answering your phone."
"Well, I'm sorry for almost dying."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. I'm going to go home and sleep for twenty years, though. But... I'll talk to you soon?"
"Yes. Of course."
"Okay. I really love you a lot."
"I really love you a lot too."
"Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Oh, you know, packing. I can't wait to see you."
"Me neither. Ohmygod. We are going to have such amazing sex, you don't even know."
"I'm pretty sure I do know."
"Seriously. It's going to be even better than the phone sex. I bought some stuff and everything."
"I still can't believe we had... phone sex."
"You don't have to whisper it, Taylor. I guess phone sex just gets more effective the longer you're away or something."
"You're talking really loudly, Nico."
"Phone sex. Phone sex. PHONE SEX!"
"I'm hanging up on you now."
"Okay. I won't. What are you doing?"
"Um.. I'm... at... yy-ooga class."
"So, that's bullshit. Where are you really?"
"I cannot say, Taylor. The world may end if I tell you what I am doing right now."
"Don't plan a party for me. I'm serious. I know you would. If that's what you're doing..."
"You have such a large head, darling. Party. Psh."
"Nico, I'm serious, I don't -"
"What? Kssh. Line's breaking up. Ksssshh. Can't hear you. See you soon."
"Taylor! Hey! You landed?"
"No, I thought I'd call you in the middle of my plane ride. Are you almost here?"
"Yeah, did you get your baggage yet?"
"One sec, it's coming, I think I see it now."
"Cool, hurry up, I'm pulling up and they won't let me park."
"Hold on... Okay, I'm coming out."
"Is that you? Wearing the black t-shirt? I don't think I recognize your face. Is that... Taylor, do you have stubble?"
"Where are you, creeper?"
"White car. Oh my god, I missed you so much."
"I don't see you."
"You look really sexy."
"Nico - Oh, I see you. Fuck. I'm coming."
"Hurry up, I think the traffic car is coming to beep at me."
"You're so beautiful."
"Get over here so I can touch you."
"We made it, Taylor."
"Of course we made it. I knew we would."
"But we did."
"Hey. Where are you? Are you even coming? If you don't show up to this I don't even know but I'm going to - "
"Dude, chill out, I'm at the door. Wow. classy place. There's some nice paintings in here. Do you know where the artist is?"
I think he's somewhere near the fifth painting from the left in the right corner looking anxiously around for his boyfriend."
"Are you sure that's a person? Looks more like a piece of art."
"Har-har. You should come say hi to the artist."
"I don't know, I'm kind of intimidated. I mean, this art is so beautiful, and he's so sexy..."
"I'm sure he'd appreciate some admiration."
"Yes, I guess that's true. You know, I have heard about his large ego and overdramatic antics."
"Have you now? Did you also hear about how every time someone looks at one of his paintings he dies a little inside and he thinks it's some mean mean critic who's going to write to some big newspaper or something about this artist who thinks he's all bigshot and then the artist's parents will see it and go ha-ha, we told you so, you should've gone to business school and died inside every day of your life? Did you know that, Taylor? I think I'm going to hyperventilate."
"I'm coming over."
"Did you know I need you?"
So I'm procrastinating writing this final essay thing for Lang, and I found this in my documents that I started like a gazillion years ago and decided to finish the last bits. If the end is worse than the beginning, it's because I did it just now. But I hope you all liked it. Phone love. And stuff.