sometime that night when mark and I are return to the dance floor.
"So, anyone else wanna go dancing again?"
I half look at kyle when I say this because I'm being completely honest; "I could be convinced"
I know kyle doesn't want to dance anymore, he is too high, and I'm sure its 2am in the morning.
I stand near him by the fire until I lose balance and face. I curve my spine and bend down to take his eyes with mine, or into my hands when I rest them on his back. and come within inches of his, conviction.
because I smile he does not and I decide to be strict with him.
"I'm gonna go dancing, and I really don't think you want to go" he is already getting restless with me "so why don't you just wait here for me and I'll be gone for only like 45 minutes." I'm not sure if I am lying, I'm just sure I am speaking. "allright?"
he has a sour face but I'm walking away, my energy is bubbling.
"wanna go mark?" I ask while I am walking past camp and he smiles at me with a strange one. I investigate my pockets until I find my flashlight, by that time mark is ahead and I am following.
bundled up we fight the cold.
I start a conversation about how mark and kyle met.
"kyle says when he got here you guys were roommate's and you guys did a lot of K."
mark laughs and it is genuine "well when you put it like that!"
"its crazy how you guys got put together!"
"yeah kyle's like 'I thought I was gonna move outta new york and get away from all these drugs to southern California and fuck- biggest, Biggest K hole on the planet!" mark does a perfect impression of kyle and I laugh so hard I have to stop talking and hold my empty stomach. "that's exactly how he says it!" mark was good at being genuinely interesting.
"fuck." I'm sure I say too loudly when the cold just absolutely gets to me.
we talk for some of the way, and I get excited as the music grows louder in the air.
the dancefloor is lit up and lively, electric sparks jumping from the ground to the sky.
the instant I get to the floor I take a last look at mark and make my way to the center sun. the brightest warmest place on the floor attracts me, and immediately I am recognized as a cog in the great big machine.
on the floor is max who I am more then thrilled to see. he has been dancing since that morning, the only place to find him was at the centersun.
we dance and I wonder what drugs are in his engine. I watch him pull another man in close and yell something into his ear. his feet are between the mans legs and the man I recognize watching, running tests with his eyes while max dances.
in the centersun I see the French girl I met earlier, going strong like a volcano. to my left are the boys kyle and I met while we were sitting near adjacent traffic, the boys who helped us find puremolly. one boy always wore a backpack and had speckles of gray in his hair that I envied.
the other boy is a small Mexican that dances like he wants the world, and we brush now and again.
to him I shout "I just realized I know everyone around me, it's amazing!"
"hope it last all night!" I think I hear back.
"hell yeah!" I shout just before the music licks me up.
after a while mark removes himself to remove his jacket and smoke a cigarette. I dance up next to him, and smile. I make sure to stay in his sight and struggle out of one of my jackets. my other jacket is a warm one I stole from kyle.
"hey" he nods and hands me the cigarette I am eyeing.
I hardly feel the big long drag invade my system.
"have you seen the fire spinners?"
my eyes grow huge and he points. beyond the floor just before a bonefire is a boy spinning two balls of fire.
"come on." most boys would have taken my hand when I am making such a big expression, but he just waves me over and bids me to follow.
mark moves down the floor and just get in close. amazing me is a display of art and dance.
I return the cigarette and tell mark I'm going to leave soon, after the next song.
so we have to put our heart into the last song. and from what I can see we do. mark stays pretty close this time around, when usually he wanders. but I too stay close when usually I like the center.
when the song ends I look at mark until he looks at me.
I point to my jacket lying on a rock and don't do much else.
we gather our things and dance our way out of the crowed.
"wow! I felt like I fucking had to dance my way out of there." walking just did not seem like an option, strangely.
"is the sun coming up?" I look up at the sky and only see darkness until I realize I can see. daylight was dim but arriving.
"oh wow, I think so." It was nice to have light to walk back with.
"ah, that was fun, glad we made it to sun up." I say.
"yeah, I could have danced more, but I'm really just running on fumes now." mark struggles back into his jacket.
"yeah me too, but I didn't want to be gone too long and like, piss kyle off. I have to drive home with him tomorrow." I say this to sound less like a girl, and I don't know if it works.
when we get back to camp the fire is out and kyle and Kevin are no where to be seen. I'm disappointed, I'm not ready for bed in the least.
"goodnight mark." I say which sounded weird.
inside the tent kyle is awake and mad looking.
I ask him what he's doing and he says it's too cold to leave. I struggle out of my dayclothes, music still ringing in the background.
"allright well then I'm going to get into bed and you're going to warm me up." I say still struggling. the cold is creeping back into my body, the heat from the dancefloor fading.
I get into bed with him and shouts about how cold my ass it. "well, it's a long cold walk back."
kyle contorts around me and wraps his les around mine until they are sore. "kyle man, I gotta move my legs, they're pretty tired." I pull my stems from between his and bend them over his legs.
"I feel like the littlespoon like this."
"you are my littlespoon." I close my eyes and breath in exhaustion. my body is so tired and still rolling, its hard to fall asleep but eventually I do.
the next day I wake up and look at the time for the first time in a few days.
it's 11am and the tent is smoldering. I kick off the covers and change out of warm clothes into shorts and a t-shirt. I can't believe how hot it is now. everything is still tired, my mind and body, lungs, voicebox and knees. I get up when max returns and falls asleep. the unstoppable machine max looks very young sleeping on the tarp outside.
what else? I feel done telling the story, there is a day before and more I could say about suma but I feel out, done. enough is enough.