Battles, Bards, and Buffoonery 2: Random Antics

Chapter 8: The Prologue...Or Is It The Epilogue?

Far from human civilization, deep in the dragon-infested mountains, the dragons were surprised to learn of an unusual wedding. A young electrical dragon had fallen in love with a beautiful princess. Although the dragons were shocked about the news and some controversy rocked the community, by the time the wedding started, the dragons were standing around the altar, cheering in admiration for...Princess Anna and Sparky the dragon.

Sorry. No misdirection this time.

They stood before a withered old dragon dressed in a robe and acting as their minister. Anna was dolled-up in a white wedding gown while Sparky wore his best suit...his birthday suit like always.

"Do you, Sparky, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To hold and cherish, to stand by her in sickness and in health, and not to eat her?"

"I do."

"And do you, Princess Anna, agree to take this dragon as your husband?"

Anna looked out at all the onlookers. Everywhere were dragons staring at the couple with joy and enthusiasm, Snow in particular wiping her tears with a handkerchief.

As Anna admired them all, it finally dawned on her that this was her new family now. "I do."

"Then by the power invested in me by the Almighty Creator...Lotus Coin...I hereby pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Sparky puckered his lips, but his pucker was big enough to swallow Anna's head, much to Anna's misgivings.

"On second thought, the bride should probably kiss the groom," said Anna. Sparky leaned forward, and Anna affectionately kissed him on the cheek.


Miles out to sea, a small tornado was flying toward a deserted island. Once it reached the island, it disappeared, dropping its two passengers onto the sandy beach.

"Oh, my head," moaned Lord Haphazard as he got up onto his feet, brushing the sand off his cloths.

Launfal rubbed his cold arms once they were freed from their icy prison. "Where are we?"

"I don't know. Do you have any teleportation dice?"

"Of course not. Can't you do something?"

"Without my staff, I can't use magic."

"Then what are we going to do?"

"Our first priority is to survive. I want you to go out and find some food and clean water...Well, why are you standing there? Go!"

Launfal grumbled under his breath as he wondered off into the nearby forest. The island itself was not terribly large, but the forest was surprisingly thick with trees, forcing Launfal to cut his way through the underbrush.

"I knew I shouldn't have teamed up with him," he said as he slashed at the plants with his sword. "If I get off this island, I'm..." He abruptly tripped on a large rock buried in the ground. He looked down and was surprised to see a series of numbers carved into the rock. "4, 8, 15...what do these numbers mean? Wait, someone had to have been here to carve these numbers. I got to tell Lord Haphazard."

As he spun around to tell Lord Haphazard, he was stunned to see he was not alone. Hovering before him was a large black cloud, seemingly there to block his path. Launfal withdrew his sword and ran toward the cloud. When he burst through the clearing, he found himself on a beach and realized that the smoke was coming from a barbecue.

Tending to the barbecue was Dirt who said to Launfal, "Oh good, you decided to have a vacation too."

Behind Dirt was the remaining two Potter Triplets with Sunny lying on the beach getting a suntan and Rain surfing on the waves using a makeshift surfboard made out of wood. Each of them were dressed in speedos and wearing sandals

"What are you three doing here?"

"We're on vacation, of course," said Dirt. The grill he was using was made out of the same clay the triplets used.

"Is there any way off this island?" demanded Launfal.

"Nope, there are hardly any ships that come by here. That means you get to spend the rest of your life in paradise with us. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Shaking in a fit of rage, Launfal screamed toward the heavens, "NOOOOOOOO!"

"I guess you're a mountain vacationer."