I turned off my alarm clock and wanted to hide under my pillow, I know that this will be one of the days I hate. My birthday is in two weeks and it will be my 21st I know I should be all excited about it, but I'm not. I know it will be a lonely one.

Well, okay I know I'm a drama queen. I won't spend my birthday alone, but my three best friends won't be there.

How I wish we could spend one more day together, just the four of us.

Did you get lost? Maybe I should start at the beginning then.

Welcome to my life.

My name is Louisa and I live in Germany now. I have an older sister, Linda, who's 35. Big age gap, right? But there are more gaps between us than just the years.

I lived with my family in Germany until I was in 2nd grade. One night, my mum and dad told me that we would be moving to Australia, to my aunt Millie's. She lives with her husband Darrell on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

My parents were having a hard time together and were arguing non stop. My dad was addicted to prescription drugs and my mum didn't want to accept that. They thought that moving to Australia together would solve their problems.

Linda knew that she wouldn't have to move. She was old enough to stay in Germany on her own. At the age of 22, it was about time for her to go her own way.

How I did hate her back then. She used to be there whenever and however I needed her. I felt like she was letting me down big time. During my time in Australia I barely had any contact with her. My mum made us both talk to each other on the phone on birthdays or holidays. Linda didn't seem to be upset about it at all. She didn't visit once in 10 years.

Unfortunately for me, I was just too young to live on my own. My grandparents tried to convince my parents to let me live with them, but mum was against that.

The rest of my time in Germany I spent crying a thousand tears and hating my sister.

Two weeks later, I was sitting in an airplane which would bring me and my parents to Australia -

to a country whose language I wasn't able to speak at all.