'Kay, so was trying to type an update to my stories and this popped out instead!

Warning: Too lazy, just point out what offended you in the review or something.


"Really, how? How do you sleep at night?" The pale boy asks. His eyes are wide, icy blue and furious. He is a nice-looking boy with a square face. He's baring his teeth at me, and they are pointy white fangs poking out of red gums. He might be my age.

He might be younger. It does not matter. What matters is that he is no longer human.

"You're one to talk. And the question is not how I did," I reply casually, looking at the silver tray of medical tools. Perhaps the saw, I think. "It's how I will: in comfy cotton sheets, after putting your spine on my wall."

"You're one sick bitch." He hisses, trying to break out of his restraints. Of course, he fails. "Shoulda killed you…Put your head on a goddamn stick…When I had the chance!"

"Definitely never heard that one before." I pick up the saw. It shines beautifully.

His eyes widen in horror. "What the fuck makes you any less of a monster than me?"

That makes me grin, so wide my chapped lips split and bleed. "I am the lesser of two evils, silly. Still an itch, but nothing compared to the rash."

And with that, I pull off my sock and gag the vampire with it. I have had enough with conversation. Especially since my undead guest has such a dirty mouth.

My name is Elisha, and I guess you can call me a monster.

I suppose I am also a good monster, because the self-righteous sociopaths around me say they are "the good guys," and I am on their side. They do most of the field work here.

Hunters, my associates call themselves. Humans hunting the supernatural and whatnot.

They've set up a nice base in this abandoned cake factory on the northern fringe of New Delany. It's big and far and no one would think to look for us in a cake factory.

Mind you, I am also a human. A sweet, moral and selfless human.

I do not understand why you insist I am inhuman when I am simply ridding the world of inhumanity, one Vampire and Were and Goblin (oh yeah, they're real) at a time.

So what if I enjoy killing them slowly? They aren't human, and they'd only kill humans. I have to kill them all, or they'll hurt you.

Remember what I said to the vampire boy? The lesser of two evils. You know it's true.

Now, if you'll just excuse me, I have hours and hours of laundry to do.

Ever try to wash brain stains from a silk shirt? It takes FOREVER!

Thanks for reading!

Good, bad, or hideous? Have suggestions? Then just review. Thanks again!