~ Go Figure ~
He's doing it again; that thing where he sighs and runs his hand through his hair like I'm wasting his time. I frown.
"Sorry, sorry. You don't have to help. I can ask someone else." I say. I hate that I give in so easily, when really I just want to slap him silly for being an asshole. I want to shove him into a lake full of crocodiles. I want to feed him to my dog Barney. Except that Barney is in love with him. And why not? He's understated and sweet and teasing and so incredibly smart and dedicated it scares me.
"You can't just keep copying off me, you know. You'll never learn." He says, going back to his work. I sigh and get up off the floor, making myself comfortable on his bed instead.
Closing my eyes, I say, "I know, I know." He just grunts and then I fall asleep in the silence.
"This sucks." I scowl, resisting the urge to tear the piece of paper in my hands to shreds.
"Well if you'd just studied more – "
"Not you too!" I whine. Stupid Mia and her smartness.
"Em, come on. You can't expect an A if you don't study. You barely even pay attention in class!"
She has a point. But an F? Really? "But an F?" I ask the ceiling.I'm looking for comfort, clearly, but Mia's not a very comforting person. She's way too honest. It's brutal, I'm telling you.
Mia just shakes her head at me. All these people shaking their heads at me; I feel like a child. And now I'm scowling again because Brad is talking to some girl from the year below in a way that is far too friendly. He 's leaning against the locker while she gets her books out, making large hand gestures the way he always does when he's telling a story. And then he seems to finish because the girl bursts out laughing in a way that is both angelic and cute and Brad gets this little smirk and I swear to goodness this is called flirting but I'm not the jealous type.
"Em? Emily? Earth to Emily." Mia waves her hand in front of my face and smirks at me. "You look constipated, hun." See? Brutal. Absolutely brutal. This is not what I need right now.
"Whatever." I mumble, veering off to the left. I'm not the jealous type. Just because Brad has been spending most of his time with this girl lately, doesn't mean he's cheating on me. Doesn't mean he fancies her either.
I'm trying and failing to open my stupid locker and it's driving me crazy so I hit it with my fists a few times, take a deep breath and try again. And while my head's in my locker looking for my calculator someone says, "Hey," and I scream and hit my head.
"What?" I growl, rubbing my head and turning to face the stupid person who thought it would be a good idea to sneak up on someone with their head in a locker. It's Brad. Go figure. He doesn't even look apologetic. He just raises his hand in greeting. No, wait, he's waving goodbye to someone. He didn't even notice I hit my head.
His gaze finds me again and I'm frowning but he's unperturbed. "I'm going to be late to Penny's tonight." Well, at least he's letting me know this time. Not like last time when we were supposed to walk there together and he apparently got caught up tutoring someone and forgot to tell me. But seriously, what tutoring session goes an hour over time?
"Why?" I question, turning back around to search my locker again.
"I've just got some stuff I've got to do."
"What kind of stuff do you have to do on a Friday?" I grumble.
"Just stuff." He shrugs. Probably the same 'stuff' he's been doing the past three weeks.
"Well, maybe I can help?" I suggest, stuffing books and papers in my bag. See what a good girlfriend I am? I'm angry and exhausted and yet I'm willing to help him.
But he says no and I can't tell whether it's a no-I-don't-want-you-there or a no-you-wouldn't-be-much-help or a no-I-can't-ask-you-to-do-that-since-you're-obviously-exhausted-and-you-need-to-sleep-before-the-party. Probably not the last option though. Besides which, he never asked me about my English results. Not that I really want him to know. He's too smart for me.
Brad leaves and I meet my sister at the back of the school and when we get home, I'm so tired I fall asleep on the couch shoes and all.
I turn up late to the party on account of my sister having one of her episodes. It's nearly ten when she and I arrive and she's in such a state that I really just want to take her home. But Fiona would not stand for that. She's here to forget her worries and that's exactly what she's going to do, and no amount of begging or demanding will stop her.
She barges past me through the door and I already know tonight is going to be one of those: the ones where I'm dragging Fi away from sleazy guys and holding her hair back while she vomits. And lately, every Friday night seems to be one of those.
I've lost sight of her already, but I'm too exhausted to do anything about it right now. Instead, I look around for Brad, hoping he'll hug it all away and kiss me better. And sure, in the back of my mind I'm thinking it's a little strange he hasn't called me yet, because really, wouldn't I be the first person he'd look for? Wouldn't he realise I'm not here and wonder where I am? But I'm trying to convince myself he's only just arrived.
And made himself comfy on the couch next to the girl from the year below.
My face hurts from all the frowning and I'm trying not to be huffy but I can't help stomping my way over to where he's sitting. He looks up briefly, smiling at something she's said and when he sees who it is, he just says, "Hey."
That's it. Just hey. Not even a Brad Smile. Not even a "Hey, where've you been?" It takes all my strength to stop from screeching in frustration. Instead, I stomp away and get myself a drink, thinking I might just chuck a Fiona tonight.
I don't know what time it is but I'm stumbling around in the backyard looking for my shoes. Where did I put my shoes? I don't know. Actually, I'm kind of cold. Where is Brad? Talking to Jessica from the year below. Her name is Jessica. I know because I asked her.
She walked out of the bathroom and I said, "Girl, what is your name?"
And she said, "Um, Jessica."
And I said, "Do you like boys, Jessica?"
And she said, "Um, I guess," and slid past me.
And then Fi and I were dancing like crazy and then Fi was making out with someone, I don't know who. And then we were outside and I was holding back her hair while she puked on the vegetable garden. Gross.
And Brad is still talking to Jessica, who is in Fi's year. And I like the way Fi scowls every time I mention Jessica. Stupid Jessica. Stupid English test. Stupid maths test. I have to study for that. I really should study for that. Where are my shoes?
I can see Brad through the window and there are very few people here anymore but he is hugging Jessica. Why is he hugging Jessica? She's going home. He's saying goodbye.
Ah-ha! I have found my shoes and Fi is saying, "Emily. Emily. Emily! I like dolphins. They're so cute. Except when they bite you. Once I was swimming with a dolphin and he bit me and I didn't like it. Don't you hate it when dolphins bite you?"
"Yeah!" I say. "It's so annoying! It really hurts!" I'm trying to think about when I've been bitten by a dolphin. Have I ever been bitten by a dolphin? I guess so.
Fi says, "Emily. I think I'm sad."
"I think I'm sad too." I say.
"But you don't look sad."
"I'm trying to be angry instead. It hurts my face."
"I think I'm angry too." Fi nods.
"Me too." I say.
"Yeah. I think frogs shouldn't be so slimy."
"But it's not slime, Fi. It's mucus."
"Gross! Ew, Em. You're so gross!"
"You're the one who puked on the vegetables!"
"It's called fertilising." She says with a smug look. And then we're both giggling like crazy.
But when I go back inside, Brad has left. And I'm trying so hard not to cry. And my chest is in pain. And Fiona starts crying because she's drunk and tired and it's time to go home. So we walk, leaning on each other, hoping the other one can stop our tears. Fiona: sobbing and hiccupping. Me: whispering comforting words and trying to wipe away the silent tears on my own face. This isn't like me. But I'm fed up. I'm really fed up.
I'm telling Mia about the time I was feeding an emu and it tried to peck my face off but she's not really listening. It's our study period and she's trying to do work, which is boring. Besides, I can't concentrate right now.
Brad, who is sitting on the other side of me, is also trying to do work. And I can tell by the way he sighs impatiently every few seconds that he's getting fed up with my stupidity.
I shut up and try to study my maths textbook, but I don't understand integration at all. I turn to Brad and say, "Hey can I ask you a quick question?" And I hate the way he closes his eyes like he's in pain, but I hate it even more that I have to tiptoe around him and his stupid moods.
Lately he's been brooding and impatient every time he's around me, but it seems that he's perfectly fine when he's chatting with Jessica, who, by the way, is also super smart and dedicated and no wonder he likes her. I mean, I don't even understand integration, which is apparently easy, according to the incredulous look on Brad's face when I ask him to explain it.
"Em, you just have to know the formulae. Didn't you do anything over the weekend? You have a test today!"
"Of course I did stuff! You would know if you'd bothered to call me." I mumble.
"What?" He frowns.
"Nothing!" I say, packing up my stuff suddenly.
Brad tilts his head slightly, the slightest hint of concern in his eyes when he says, "Where are you going?" But it's so slight that I would hardly count it.
I don't answer. Instead, I walk calmly out of the classroom, ignoring Mia's confused look and successfully making it all the way to my locker before giving in to the urge to kick something. I kick the locker under mine and it's just my luck that Mr McCarthy sees me abusing it with my feet.
"Emily, that's enough." He says. And then he hands me a pink detention slip and I sink to the floor, sitting there with my head in my hands, hoping this will all just go away when I open my eyes again.
Some time passes and then I can hear hurried footsteps and a little part of me thinks it's Brad, coming to make sure I'm okay, or at least Mia, being a good friend for once. But what I see rips my heart out of my chest the same way it does every time I see Fi in tears. Because there she is, beautiful face about to crack in half, shoving the bathroom door open as fast as she can.
It's late on a Thursday night and I want to call Brad but I'm being childish and ignoring him. He doesn't seem to realise. Today, he said, "Hey, what's up?" I walked away. Besides, who greets their girlfriend with a 'hey, what's up'? Okay, lots of people do, but the point is...
Actually, I don't know what my point is. Except to say that the person he has been tutoring this past month is Jessica from the year below. Not that she needs tutoring. It just makes me angry that he can find time to tutor her but he doesn't have the time or patience to help me out. He thinks I don't try. And he's right, of course, but...
But nothing. Whatever. I'm not going to call him.
Dad is in his room moping and Fiona is wrapped in a million rugs on the couch watching some chick flick and drinking the hot chocolate I made her. I just spent the last hour trying to comfort her and I want to punch the idiot who's giving her shit at school. Calling her stupid and prissy.
And it makes me so angry that Fi refuses to tell me who it is because she wants to do this on her own, but it won't stop me from hating the idiot. They're just jealous, I told Fi. And see, Brad? I'm not as stupid as I look. Fi kept insisting she's just upset about mum but I'm not stupid. I figured it all out and I'm going to figure out who this motherf –
Deep breaths, Emily.
It doesn't take me long to figure out who the bitch is that's giving my sister crap. It's Jessica. Go figure. Turns out she's one of those smart people who want to RUB IT IN YOUR FACE THAT THEIR SMARTER THAN YOU.
I should have known it was her. She has a stupid nose and her eyes are too close together. And she giggles like a fat koala. Not that I have anything against koalas. But I have everything against Jessica. I'm trying to melt her with my eyes but it's not working. Instead, people are just giving me weird looks.
"Emily, what are you doing?" Mia sighs; I exhaust her.
"I'm trying to shoot lasers from my eyes." I tell her, squinting so much my eyes are in pain.
Mia adjusts the books in her hands and shakes her head with a small smile. "Hun, forget it. You don't have super powers."
"I have very mild super powers, thank you very much." I hmph, crossing my arms across my chest and leaning against the wall while we wait for our teacher to arrive.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. I can always tell what you're going to say."
Mia raises her eyebrows. "Oh –"
But I cut her off. "Let me guess: you're about to say, 'oh really?' and next you'll shake your head like I'm some stupid child and say, 'you really are ridiculous, Em'." I'm scowling and trying not to look at Mia but I can tell she's shocked.
"Em –" She reaches out but I jerk away.
"I'm going to the bathroom." I mumble, waving her off. Partly I actually need to go, but mostly I've just seen Jessica walk into the bathroom and I can't wait to give her a piece of my mind.
My hand is pointing accusingly even as I'm walking in, but it seems that someone has beaten me to it.
"You're a bitchy little know-it-all and there's no WAY he would ever leave my sister for you, so get it out of your STUPID head!" Fi looks absolutely menacing, her face all red and puffed up, but the thing is, it's three against one.
Jessica swats Fi's hand away and scowls at her. "You're sister's an idiot, Fi-oh-na. Brad's too good for her anyway, and the sooner he realises that, the better." She pokes Fi and my blood boils, remembering all the Chinese burns and red rivers and all the detentions Fi gets for not handing in homework and this girl is the cause.
"Oi!" I screech, barging between them. Thankfully, being a year older makes me more intimidating and even if Jessica looks unperturbed at least her two friends are scared. "Lay off my sister, Jessica. You're a stupid bully with a stupid fat koala laugh."
"Nice." Fi says in approval.
"Thanks." I nod appreciatively.
"Yeah, I mean her face is even puggy and squished like a koala's." Fi says thoughtfully.
"Huh, yeah. And her hands are all curly like their claws."
"Not that I have anything against koalas." Fi adds.
"Yeah, most of them are cool, but geez, when they get mean, they get vicious." Want to know what I like? That horrible scowl on Jessica's squished face. It makes me happy.
Fi leans back against the wall with a smirk on her face and pushes her fringe out of her eyes. She looks dangerous and I'm so glad she's my sister.
Jessica seems to reel her anger in far enough to be able to say, "You don't scare me. Just because you're older, doesn't mean you're better than me. You're stupid and childish, just like your sister. Brad deserves so much better."
It hurts, really. Because part of me knows it's the truth. But this isn't about Brad, so I laugh it off and shake my head. "You're not as smart as you seem if you think this is about Brad." She scowls some more and turns to leave, but I get in one last threat as she's walking out the door. "Touch my sister again, and you'll never hear the end of it." I growl.
"It's times like these I'm glad Dad's a cop." Fi adds, and then we're giggling like crazy after Jessica's gone because Dad's not really a cop, but the look on her face was priceless.
"Go away!" Dad gurgles through the door.
I jiggle with the doorknob desperately, wishing Fiona was here, but also glad that she's not. I don't know what Dad is doing in the bathroom, but water is coming out the door and the tap has been on for the past half hour.
I'm supposed to be at Mel's right now, it being her seventeenth and all. But Dad is flooding the house and weeping and I'm so scared it hurts. But I can't call Brad. No sir. I really want to, but I can't. I would call Mia, but I'm angry at her too.
And stupid Dad is driving me crazy because he won't stop moping about Mum leaving and never calling. She cheated on him and he still loves her, and it's pathetic and stupid. But maybe I'm being a hypocrite, since it's clear that Brad's cheating on me, at least emotionally, and yet I'm too scared to confront him. I'm scared that he'll realise he likes Jessica better than me. Which is pathetic, right?
And now I'm charging at the door over and over, calling out for Dad and freaking out when I realise there is no sound coming from the other side, besides the constant gush of water. Barney is barking in worry and jumping around my feet.
And then I call for an ambulance and I'm saying nonsense into the phone, like how the door is locked and there's so much water and he's not answering and holy shit, oh my God, OH MY GOD, ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod, the water is red.
I sit on the other side of the door, crying so much it hurts, and I'm saying words but I can't hear them and it seems to take forever for the ambulance to get here. Actually, I don't know who arrives first: the police or the paramedics. Somehow they knock the door in and someone is dragging me away, saying it'll be okay, I did the right thing and other such nonsense.
And while I'm sitting in the police department drinking hot chocolate, I'm thinking about Brad. I know I should be thinking about Dad, but I don't want to. I don't want to have to face the fact that he could be dead. So I think about Brad instead.
I think about my birthday party last year, the way he kept winking at me across the room. And then we were sitting on the swings outside and he held my hand in his and kissed it and my heart was doing crazy things. And he said, "So...be my girlfriend?" He smiled the Brad Smile, the one he saves for me and only me, and my god I couldn't have said no to those eyes even if I'd wanted to.
I think about the school dance, the glint in his eyes and the frown on his face when I danced with Michael Waters three songs in a row. And the whole time I just wanted to smooth it out. I think about the way he wouldn't let me out of his grasp for the rest of the night.
I think about how comforting it was to hear his voice on the phone every time my parents started fighting. Mum used to come into my room afterwards and tell me everything that was wrong with that man, and then she'd sit down on the end of my bed with a wonderful spark in her eye and say, "I'm still seeing Jonathon. He is ah-may-zing, Emily. I'm telling you, dreams ain't got nothing on him." And Brad would listen calmly as I raged on and on about how angry she made me.
I think about his cute nose and how I always tweak it. I think about kissing his funny-looking thumb. I think about the way my chest swells when I make him laugh. I think about the softness in his gaze when he's trying to look at me without me noticing.
I don't think about the past few weeks, melting into the background. Getting tired and failing tests and getting home to a torn-apart house. The way mum left coat hangers strewn across her room, and all the kitchen cupboards were half open and empty, made it look like she'd left in such a rush.
I don't think about the look on Dad's face when he got home and the way he crumpled to the floor. I don't think about the way Fiona got so angry she threw a plate at the wall. And Dad didn't even look up. And even now, we're still finding things missing, like the juicer and the iron and the hair straightner that Fi and I bought with our own money.
At least she left Barney. Reliable Barney. His tail thick and dangerous and his face so happy.
I think about Barney just to distract myself from thoughts of Jessica and her stupid hair and her stupid smartness and oh my god Brad, if you like her so much, just dump me already. I'm sick of being ignored: it's humiliating. Doesn't the past year and a half count for anything?
And it's at the same time as feeling angry at Brad, that I realise...I think I'm in love. Or, if this isn't love, then it's a lot like it, because it hurts so goddamn much and as much as I hate him right now, I can't bear the thought of letting him go.
What a terribly inconvenient time to realise I love Brad. And then I start laughing but I'm crying at the same time and the people around me are giving me looks of sorrow and pity because they think I'm crazy. Maybe I am.
It's seven o'clock on a Saturday night and Brad is blocking the door looking furious. The taxi's going to be here soon and I'm supposed to be waiting out the front, but I decide to hear him out until Fi's done packing her overnight bag.
"I can't believe you." Brad starts.
I raise my eyebrows, cross my arms and lean against the door frame. Here we go.
"Look, Em, if you have a problem with me and Jessica hanging out, you could've just said so."
I don't really know where's he's getting this from, but I couldn't care less right now. I'm tired and anxious because we're about to see Dad. But I go along with it anyway. "And you'd have just stopped seeing her?"
He looks absolutely disgusted. "Of course not! She's my friend! But really, Emily; I thought you were above all that. Sure, sometimes you're childish, but threatening her?"
"What are you on about?" I push off the door frame in anger and flail my arms about.
"She told me how you threatened her to stay away from me." He hates me. His eyes have this glint in them that leaves absolutely no room for compassion, or basically anything besides hate. It's tearing me to pieces.
"And you believe her?" I ask incredulously.
"She's all jumpy and worried whenever I tutor her." He accuses.
"And you're going to believe this random koala girl over your girlfriend of a year and half?" I question.
He stares at me and then nods. "Obviously that year and a half doesn't mean much to you if you can't trust me." Wait. He stole the words right out of my mouth. "And please don't tell me you called her a koala girl to her face." He warns.
Woops. "What?" I shrug. "I was complimenting her. Koalas are cute. I have nothing against koalas."
Brad groans and shakes his head. "She's right about you."
"What?" That sparks more anger in me and seriously, where is that damn taxi?
"You act twelve years old, Emily. When are you going to grow up?"
"Excuse me?" That wasn't me. Have I mentioned that I love my little sister? She has that dangerous look on her face again and Brad actually looks a little ashamed, but Fi's not done yet. "Where do you get off, saying things like that to my sister? She's so much more grown up than anyone her age, especially you." She spits. "All you care about is getting good grades, but Emily understands that there's so much more to life. She's always there for our dad and for me: it's no wonder she doesn't get time to do her homework, but by god she tries. And I can't believe you're favouring that stupid BULLY over Emily. You don't really know Jessica if you think she's nice, but you know Emily. When has she ever lied to you?"
"But – "
"No, Brad. She is WAY too good for you if this is the way you're going to treat her. If you'd bothered to look twice at her in these past few weeks, you would have noticed something was going on. You know she's not stupid and yet you act like you're not surprised she's failing. I am. I've never known my sister to fail a subject." Brad looks really confused and it makes me want to hold his hand, but in the silence I can hear the taxi beeping. Quietly, Fiona adds, "I thought you were better than that," and then we push past him and slide into the taxi.
She really is the best sister in the world.
It's Tuesday and Mia looks guilty and she's trying to apologise to me but I'm thinking about Dad's small smile. His weak hello. The way he kept apologising like he'd let us down. He's got time off work and he's seeing a therapist but what really gets me, is how it got bad so fast. One moment he's just snappy and moody and mopey, and suddenly he's depressed. Or maybe he was depressed all along and I never noticed, and maybe that's why I kept apologising right back.
It makes me worry about Fi, but then I see that dangerous look and I know she'll be fine.
"Em? Please say you forgive me." I turn back to Mia and her pleading eyes. Of course I forgive her. I tell her as much and she hugs me with relief, but then she turns serious again, looking me right in the eyes in a way only Mia can do.
"Now tell me what's going on. I'm worried and Brad's worried – "
"Brad's not worried." I grumble.
"Yes he is. He said something about Fiona saying something and now he's worried and his parents are angry at him – "
"Wait, why are his parents angry?"
"Because he refuses to tutor Jessica anymore and their parents are friends, see, so now it's awkward between them or something and – " Mia shakes her head and starts again. "That's not the point. The point is that we're both really worried and – "
I sigh and close my eyes. It's not like Mia to ramble and she really does look worried. So I tell her about how mum eloped with Jon-ah-thon. And the black hole that our house has become; Fiona bursting into tears, being bullied, skipping class, getting detentions; Dad moping, oblivious, getting divorce papers in the mail and locking himself away; and that terrible, terrible night where –
But I don't go into detail. He's okay now, and that's what counts. Mia looks horrified and anxious and incredibly guilty. "Emily...I'm so sorry. I've been such a shit friend and I – "
"It's okay." I smile. And it is.
But then I have to go because Brad is heading towards us and – wait. Mia has just marched up and slapped him. Way to go Mia. And now she's saying something and he looks like a little boy being chided.
But, you know, I can't help it. I love his cute nose and his funny thumb and it's been too long since I held his hand.
Yesterday, Jessica got her koala face all up in my grill and she was all, "You think you're so great."
And I was all, "I am great."
And she was all, "If I scowl at you long enough you'll disappear."
And then Brad barged in with that glint in his eye, the same one he got when Joe hugged me the other day. And the look on Jessica's face when he told her to get lost made my heart swell. Which is mean of me, but I'll never forget what she did to my sister.
I got no sleep last night, on account of the fact that mum rang and dad broke down into tears and I was watching him the entire night because I was so scared he'd do something stupid again. Just when I think things are getting better...
And so that brings us to now, sitting in the change room before PE holding my knees to my chest and trying not to think. Every now and then a tear makes a break for it and I'm willing myself to stop because I know that any moment Mia will come looking for me because she won't let me out of her sight lately.
"Emily, what's taking so lo – oh." She rushes over but I won't let her hug me because I feel pathetic. She bites her lip and says, "I'll be back in a jiffy." I don't know what she's got in mind but seconds later she is followed back in by a fierce looking Brad.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Way to make me feel more pathetic, Mia. Brad reaches out and I instinctively flinch and he looks so hurt and vulnerable that I immediately regret it. "Can you give us a sec, Mia?"
Mia looks sceptical but she finally agrees. "I'm right outside, okay?" I give her a small nod, and then it's just me and Brad and the silence.
"Emmy – " He starts. I want him to hold my hand and tell me everything's going to be okay. But I can't bring myself to make the first move. He sighs and clenches his fists. "Don't leave me, okay?" Huh? I'm kind of shocked that he's making this about him at the moment. He seems to realise his mistake and his eyes go wide. "No! No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I just...I just want to know what's wrong. And why you never told me your mum left. Let me in again, yeah? I mean I knew she was going to leave eventually but I...I know I should've known, but I'm really not as smart as you make me out to be."
"Yes you are." I grumble. "You're so smart it hurts. I feel so stupid and lame. I don't know why you ever dated me."
"No, Emmy, don't talk past tense." He grabs my hand instinctively and holds it to his face. I don't want to look at him because what I need right now is a Brad Smile, not the tortured look I know he has.
The silence stretches on and then his voice comes out in a breath. "I love you." He kisses my fingers and I'm trying so hard to contain my grin it hurts.
I shove him away playfully and say with a laugh, "Could you be anymore corny?"
He just half-shrugs and smiles a tiny a smile and then we're staring at each other like it's a Saturday night and we're having one of our movie-marathons except we can't concentrate on the movie that's playing.
I suddenly lurch forward and peck his lips because I can't help myself and because I'm trying to let him know I love him without saying the words. And then there it is, slowly creeping onto his face: the Brad Smile.
I look away, blushing, and then suddenly he's picking me up and spinning me around and saying, "My beautiful Emmy!"
"Shut up." I say, rolling my eyes.
He grabs my hand and leads me out to PE, the smile never leaving his face. And I love the way he kisses the top of my head and starts rambling on about me coming over that afternoon, and how he's going to make me the best damn choc-chip cookies I've ever had, and would I please stop thinking I'm stupid because he is way stupider for believing Jessica over me and besides which, I'm the hardest worker he's ever known, if you don't include Mia or himself or Johnny or Kimmy or –
"You might want to stop there." I growl.
He grins and bumps me with his hip. "Only joking, Em."
Honestly, how can I not love him?