The moment I looked into your eyes

I could something was really wrong

We went up to your room and turned the music on

You said you had enough

And I asked you why

You said you were giving up

I begged you not to end your life

I said there was good in the world

So many things to live for

But you I was wrong and picked up your gun from the floor

I tried to take it from you

You were always so much stronger than me

I begged you again and again

I pushed you into the wall

Put my hands on either side of your face

I looked into your eyes as the tears ran down your face

You brought the gun up to your head

I cried out and pulled you close to me

I knew you would gladly kill yourself but you would never harm me

You told me to turn around

Begged for me to just go, just leave

But I refused to move, I said I wouldn't let you go

I kissed your tears away and tried to hold you close

You said you could make me leave, you were stronger than me

But even with your harsh words you didn't push me away

I said over and over again, I wouldn't let you go

You broke down and sobbed, clinging to my shoulder

Then you threw down the gun

Glanced to the bed

Saw the rope laying there

You wrapped it around your neck

I did all I could to stop you

You pinned me to the bed

I was under you

I screamed to you let, stop hurting yourself

You just laughed and said you didn't care anymore

You begged me for a good reason to stay alive

Your voice slowly slipped into a rasp as the air ran out

I shouted and pounded your back but you were crushing me

As you air ran out I could hear your lungs groan and scream

You refused to stop

And there I was helpless

You were too strong, I couldn't move a bit

Then your body when limp

I cried out and struggled out from under your body

You were laying face down in the bed

I had to stop myself from screaming I untied the rope

I rolled you over

Your neck was bruised and all around your eyes was bruise and red

I hide the rope and gun

Washed your poor beautiful face off and sat by your side waiting for your eyes to open

Why am I alive? You croaked when you finally looked up at me

Because you're meant to be I whispered and kissed your forehead gently

I went to get you some water

But u grabbed me and wouldn't let go

So I stroked your back and hair and held you close

I lay you down in bed and cuddled in beside you

I held you tight to me, afraid in the morning I wouldn't be able to find you

In the middle of the night, I woke to see you looking at me

Thank you, you whispered and held you tighter saying you were welcome

You put your arms around me and pulled me so close to you

I thought my body might break but somehow I liked it

We stayed like this all night

In the morning you kept whispering I'm sorry

I said it was okay, I was just glad I had been there

And when I saw your poor swollen red eyes in the morning light

I was scared because I felt something stirring inside of me

Something strong and unpredictable'

I wanted to hold him, protect him and never let him go

I wanted his to love me and want me by his side

And it scared me

Because after the worst night of my life I never wanted to leave him…