I lay on my side; my eyes had already adapted to the darkness of the room. It had been about 15 minutes since we had said good night but I had a hard time trying to fall asleep; no matter how tired I was. I could see the faint blue-white light from the moon peer in from the window and reflect off the walls, the perfect night light to further observe his room. I lay so still I could feel a subtle rhythmic tremble, my heart like a bass drum throughout my entire body.
"Are you awake?" I heard a sweet whisper.
I rolled over to find Erik with his arms folded behind his head, gazing at the ceiling. And then his head turned to face me. His eyes had a weird glow about them; they looked gray and transparent, mysterious yet warm. I turned completely over so that I now lay facing him. He also flipped over so that he was now on his stomach, arms still crossed now beneath his pillow.
He remained silent for a moment and just studied me. His smile was sweet, it always was.
"I can't seem to close my eyes." I whispered back.
"I want to tell you something."
He shook his head kindly.
"On our trip to New Orleans, I had almost convinced myself that I wanted to have sex with you. And was even slightly upset we didn't get to."
"I know." He said reassuringly.
"I feel almost stupid for the way I acted that day."
"Don't think that way. It's just… I would just hate myself if you ended up regretting it. I think about it all the time. How amazing it would be…but I fear how you might feel afterwards." He admitted.
"I just always thought I'd be that girl who was with a guy for a couple of years before anything that serious could happen."
"I understand. Maybe the distance is a good thing for now."
"I can't stand it Erik, and it hasn't even started yet."
I couldn't help get in my sad mode again; which was ridiculous since I still had Erik here with me.
"I know it's hard. I've been missing you like crazy. Sometimes I think I'm seriously obsessed." He chuckled softly.
But I felt exactly the same way. And it was good to know that I wasn't alone.
"Remember prom night? That was a lot of fun." I smiled as a few images came to mind.
"Yes, I loved those giraffe shorts you had on." He smirked.
I blushed so hard I had to hide my face in the pillow.
"I still think you look so cute when you're embarrassed."
"Miss you." I said quietly.
"I remember your first night at work…You looked so perfect in your brand new white shirt, simple pony tail and your big brown eyes. When I came to introduce myself I could barely swallow. I hoped you wouldn't notice or Trisha. You looked so eager to learn and so proud of yourself when you attended your first customer. I was horrified when I realized how much you seemed to despise me. Not knowing what I had done to give you such a bad impression. I might have tried too hard to play it cool, and even was a little too friendly to the female customers to see your reaction… And then the following week I saw you stare at me differently and then I knew I might have a shot… And here you are."
As Erik revealed his thoughts towards me, I realized why I loved him so much regardless the amount of time I knew him. He was the guy of my dreams, the guy I fantasized about having my first time with. I searched in my mind but I no longer could see that borderline. It's like it had vanished and just then I had a little chill knowing that tonight, right now, it was going to happen. I rehearsed what I wanted to say to begin the event. Something like I want you to kiss me now and this time don't stop. Or maybe Erik, I'm ready. But I couldn't roll the words off my tongue.
"I wanted to wait till we got closer to Christmas to tell you…My Aunt has signed me over the small inheritance that my dad left us. It's not a whole lot but enough for me to finish my degree and other things. I wanted to be sure that what we had here was real. And if you feel as strongly as I do then…I want you to live here with me. It's not too late to get you signed up to some classes here, with a little help from some people that I know. I can pay for it."
I wanted to cry over the slightest possibility of this coming true. Too late, my eyes were starting to water. This time there would be no lie big enough to cover this one from my parents.
"What about my parents, they will never agree to it."
"Well, you are 18 and I've been..."
Just then he sat up with a very serious and hopeful look on his face. I was compelled to do the same. What has he been…? He grabbed my left hand and I could tell he was growing nervous. He started to gently press upon my forth finger.
"Searching…for the right one."
My eyes widened, which I'm sure looked pretty scary in the dark. He wanted to marry me? The craziest thing was that this didn't sound crazy at all.
"You mean…get married? You want us to get married?" I asked in disbelief.
"I know it sounds crazy doesn't it? But I'm serious about you and I don't want anyone else. I could search and never find another you. And I want only you."
"Wow." I continued to whisper.
"Question is…will you have me?"
"Now this isn't the official proposal, so don't worry. It will come soon."
"So, what about your roommate?"
"I'll kick him out." He blurted.
"What about my parents?"
"I'll ask your father first."
"What if he says no?"
"I won't give up. I'll keep asking."
"What if I want to anyway, regardless if he says no?"
"Then you'll make me the happiest man alive. And I'd try my hardest to win his approval."
"What if…" I crawled closer. "Remember what you told me that night, about what you dreamt about…with me?"
If we ever had the gift of telepathy, it had triggered this very instant. He didn't have to repeat what he said that night, or ask me if I was sure. I didn't have to say I'm ready or kiss me now. But everything began to play, like the rolling of a film. Two characters with one thing in mind; it's almost as if I sat back to watch this beautiful thing unfold. Better yet, I was the one partaking of this beautiful thing.
At first we were both shy and stunned by the fact that this was actually about to happen. The room was too quiet, I almost felt like Erik could hear my thoughts. It appeared like he didn't even know where to begin. He touched my face with his fingertips so carefully as though afraid that I might break. I wore nothing fancy but a blue t shirt and cotton shorts. He normally slept without a shirt on so I had nothing to tug on to; though when my hands pressed upon his waist they began to shake a little.
To calm me Erik began to give me gentle baby kisses along my forehead. I could feel his hands slightly stroke my hair and my back; very slowly, over and over. We knelt before each other and after each motion our eyes would meet again. His soothing tiny kisses soon traveled all over my face along with deep inhales. He paused before finally reaching my lips and then he kissed me like it was the first time. I clung to his neck and shoulder making my way towards his soft hair. I loved the smell and how it felt. It's like I was proud that every inch of him was mine.
His lips then wandered down my neck and shoulders, but before we went any further we helped each other undress. As we lay down Erik made sure we were completely covered under the blankets. Even though it began all serious, we were soon smiling and laughing at random moments. Granted it was extremely hot to be under the covers, but the heat seemed to add on to the enjoyment. His scruffy face tickled some areas of my body but made the experience that more fun. And when we finally were together, I was relieved to not feel as much pain as I feared. Not that it was the most comfortable feeling at first, but he made sure to take it slow.
It might sound strange, but I felt like a butterfly finally out of its cocoon. Or wait was that a chrysalis? Anyway, I now knew what it was like to make love to the one that I loved. And I think we both felt ready and ok with it because we knew this was serious. We were going to be together for real, forever. That reassurance was just what I needed to let go.
Although the foreplay lasted longer than the actual "doing it" part, I was kind of glad. I mean I enjoyed it all but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a bit sore…there. It was kind of funny actually, towards the end. Because we didn't use protection we relied on his "instincts". And boy did he fly out of the zone if you know what I mean; that made me laugh a little. And me the curious one, I had to stare and wonder what was happening to him. It was all so new to me I didn't know what to expect.
"Don't laugh, or get grossed out." He whispered.
I shook my head no and watched him walk towards the bathroom. I was enjoying the view when he turned around to tell me I should try and pee. I didn't feel the need to but then he explained why I should. I could feel a little discomfort but not enough to have me limping or anything. I had the hugest smile on my face, of my accomplishment. Silly I know.
"What's that grin about?" He laughed.
"We did it." I giggled.
He raised his eye brows and gave me a funny smug look.
"And that was only the beginning." He finished.
"Oh?" I was wondering if this was an intermission or something.
Erik decided to keep the rest to himself, which I thought wasn't the nicest thing to do. But I would wait and see I guess.
Moments later we fell into a deep sleep. But morning wasn't too far away.
I woke up to the fresh scent of coffee and sounds of a pan scrapping slightly on the stove. The air smelt delicious, I could practically taste it. I looked over at the clock which read 10am. My initial reaction was to jump out of bed and look for my clothes. But then I lay back down, I didn't care; I just might be living here sooner than I thought anyways.
Erik walked in wearing red boxers, so it was hard not to accidentally look down. Something else to laugh about later I guess. And then I saw his young looking face again, cleanly shaven and ready to be kissed. He crawled on over to me and lunged a kiss my way. Ahh, even his after shave gave me cravings.
"You like?" He said while rubbing his jaw.
"Come and eat." He instructed.
Right, just let me get dressed first. Only I couldn't spot my things. He tossed me one of his longer shirts from a drawer.
"We'll look for those later."
Because of course he knew what I was looking for; we're telepathic now remember.
I admit it was a little strange to walk around in nothing but a long shirt that barely covered the last inch of my butt. In an hour or so this shirt was about to be extremely stretched out in the front as I kept trying to pull it down. I still loved that I was wearing his shirt about to eat breakfast in his apartment the morning after; just like in the movies.
Now as much as I like to share my thoughts and details of all things pertaining to Erik, I cannot share what happened later that morning. Let's just say I found out his reasons for shaving and the other stuff he neglected to mention yesterday. I never knew I could feel certain things that he made me feel. And let's just also say that now that this door was open, our following weekends were looking quite busy.
I couldn't escape the claws of Trisha once I got back. She forced me to tell her everything, just as much as I was eager to share it with her and ask for more tips and advice on certain subjects. It was a whole new world now. But I still needed to take care of my old one.
It had been a few weeks since Erik had told me about his plans, our plans. I hadn't seen any action take place yet and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say something to my parents first. Or even if perhaps he was starting to have doubts. But when I got home one evening from having hung out with Trish, I saw Erik's car in my driveway. I was so excited, this was a good thing.
I ran inside but wasn't greeted with overwhelmingly happy faces like I thought. Instead I saw nothing but worried and skeptical glances coming from my parents in the living room. Once my dad saw me he asked if I could please wait in the kitchen. Only a few feet away from them I could tell this wasn't going so well, now I was worried.
Erik got up and walked outside. Once he left I practically flew in the living room. My dad took a deep breath as he paced around a bit.
"Erik just asked me if I would let you have his hand in marriage…And while I think he's an amazing boy, I just think you are too young hija. You have just graduated high school and you're about to experience life as an adult now. I don't think it's wise to plunge into marriage just yet."
"But I love him daddy."
"You might think that, because he is your first boyfriend. But trust me, I know how this turns out. I see it all the time with my students."
"But I love him daddy. I want to be with him! I'm 18 and I believe I'm old enough to know what's wise for me now."
"Just give it some time. But for now I am not allowing it. Because you are our daughter and you live under this roof."
I'm guessing Erik didn't mention the part of us living together in his apartment. And as much as I wanted to say that I would move out then, I swallowed my words and kept quiet.
"May I please go and see Erik now?" I said coldly.
My father shook his head but it didn't look like he was planning on changing his mind any time soon. I walked out with evident disappointment written all over my face. Erik was leaning against his car waiting, as sad as me.
"Now what do we do?" I asked.
"I don't know. I was sure he would approve. What do you want to do?"
"Quit my job and come back with you."
Erik gave me a sympathetic smile and pulled me closer in a great big hug.
"We'll wait a little before any drastic moves like that."
"But we agreed that we'd do it whether or not he said yes or no." I argued.
"I know, but I was thinking and I know my father wouldn't be proud of that."
In that moment I understood why it was important for him that we wait. Yet I didn't know how long it would take for my father to come around. Or what it would take. I know it's not good to rush into things but I had a feeling things were about to get even harder. What do girls usually do in these situations? Do they forget all that their parents have done and say screw it and take off? Do they wait and wait till it's too late? Do they sacrifice happiness just to please others? I wanted to be positive and have the right attitude, still it was hard considering I wanted to be nothing but selfish.
And so there you have it…finally! I tried not to focus on the steamy but the humoristic reality of what sometimes goes on and well obviously Chloe's thought process. I hope you enjoyed it. And THANK YOU guys so much for enjoying the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it And a Merry week & weekend to you all!