I ... got bored?
I was looking back over my stories, because I'm a lazy ass who won't do her summer homework, and I didn't really like the ending in this one, because it was ambiguous ... So I made this.
Ryan walked calmly down the street, hands in his pockets, a smile on his face. He hummed gently, his hand curling over something in his pocket, something that was square and velvet and had cost him an arm and a leg to get. But he didn't care; it was for someone very special to him, so he could do this without complaining.
He slowed down as he neared the intersection, seeing the light turn red and the people who had yet to cross stop and mill around the curb. Joining the throng of people, he ceased his humming, since he couldn't hear it anyway, but kept the smile on his face, unwilling to let it drop.
Even the weather was happy for him, because the Sun was shining down happily around him, warming his shoulders through his jacket and making his sandy blond hair shine like spun gold. Well, it was happy for him at least, because the person he was going to see, he hated the sun, and usually refused to leave the house without a lot of coercion.
Ryan chuckled to himself as he thought about his boyfriend, William. The other male was shorter and slighter than him, and he was always worried, because the man was so thin that you could trace his ribs through his flesh with the slightest of pressure applied. Although whenever he voiced this, the smaller male just laughed and ruffled his hair, telling him that he was perfectly healthy.
But Ryan didn't believe him, which was why he was carrying the basket full of sandwiches that they could eat together in the park, just like they always had. Because although William would never admit it, he loved doing these things with Ryan. Not that Ryan needed him to admit it, because he could always see the secret smiles that were sent his way when William thought that he wasn't looking.
Ryan sped up his gait, nearing the gate to the park where he was headed. He bolted through the gate, past the other people and between the neat little rows of stones, all arranged neatly and cleaned and generally pretty. He headed to the far corner, right by the tree to the secluded corner that he knew his boyfriend loves so much, right to where his boyfriend was lying.
"Hey, William," he said softly, sitting down cross legged in front of the stone, running a hand across it. "Sorry I couldn't come to visit earlier, but my boss kept me in late to get some stuff done before my lunch break."
He received no reply, but that didn't deter him, or wipe the smile from his lips. "Can you believe it? We've been together for almost five years now. Isn't that amazing? I can't believe that you haven't tired of me yet. I always keep expecting you to just tell me that we're done ... But you won't do that, right? You love me too much for that!"
Ryan chuckled softly and lay down on the grass, careful of the other stones. "I brought some food. Over there, in the basket. Because you know I don't like the fact that you're that thin. It's just not healthy, you know?"
Again, he received no answer, but it still didn't stop him. "Speaking of being together ... I brought you this ... I didn't know if it's the right one, but it made me think of you. I mean, you don't like big showy things, right? So this one is perfect! It's thin and discreet, and no one will notice it unless you shove it in their face, which you probably won't!"
"Think about it, okay? I know you can't really answer me, but I know that if you could, you'd probably yell at me for doing this, even though you want to say yes." Ryan laughed to himself, taking one of the sandwiches and taking a bite. "You know that I'll just keep asking you to marry me every time I come to visit, right? So there's not really a point in rejecting me, because I'll keep trying. So will you? Will you marry me?"
"I know that you don't like accepting things from me, because 'I should be saving my money for something more worthwhile' and all that ... But can you accept this one present just this once? For me?" A nervous chuckle escaped him and he lay back down on the ground, staring up at the lazily drifting clouds.
Ryan closed his eyes, practically able to see the blush that would grace William's face, because he always blushed at everything so easily. A fact that never ceased to amuse him. "I know; you probably think this is a joke, right? Because this isn't even legal and all that. But ... well, it isn't. You know I love you, and I've thought about it, and I ... I don't want anyone else to say 'I do' to me. I want you. Just you. I want you to stand beside me forever. Only you."
There was a long pause where the wind rustled through the leaves on the trees, letting the loose ones fall down and flutter around him, one of the landing on his stomach.
"So think about this, alright? Can you promise me that? I would stay longer, but I have to get back to work, because if I'm late again my boss will be really mad at me." He sat up, ran his hand over the stone once again, taking up the picture of William in the old rusty frame that William had loved so much and giving it a quick kiss before putting it back down against the headstone, standing up and grabbing the basket, looking at the picture one more time.
"I'll be back tomorrow for lunch, okay? Try and think about my offer until then, because I will ask again, don't you doubt that for a second." He turned to leave, making it halfway down the row before he turned back and smiled kind of longingly and kind of sadly, and feeling the distant burn of tears at the back of his throat as he stared at the place where he just sat, the grass flattened and the breadcrumbs that he had left there. "Try not to miss me too much, okay?" he choked out, smiling broadly.
He always hated saying goodbye. Ever since he was a little child; he just never knew how to deal with them, because they always made him tear up, because he could never do them properly. He just never could bring himself to accept that another person was gone.
Which is why he always kept the door open, in the hopes that his William would maybe walk through it again and come back to him.
He closes the gate behind him, and his hand folds into his pocket, curling around the small square that sits there, warmed by his body heat. He allows a small smile to creep up his lips and a tear to trickle down his cheeks, looking back once more even though the gravestone couldn't be seen anymore.
"You were right ... A band-aid really couldn't fix anything this time."
Writing this made me cry. Do I have problems because of that?
I might take it down later, if I decide ambiguous ending was better than failed bittersweet ending. So I don't know, consider this an experiment of sorts, I suppose ...