"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough"



Dear Journal, I saw her again today. I was with the football guys when she came in to start her shift at the coffee shop. I watched her in her element as she politely greeted costumers and had conversations with them. Unfortunately, she didn't serve us but I was able to catch her attention as she smiled at me. During practice I heard that she had broken up with her high school sweetheart after he cheated on her.

She's really beautiful when she is upset but what I like about her is that she is strong and independent and won't let this break up bring her down. People always say that coming into college in a relationship with your high school sweetheart is a lot of work and they are fucking right about that. The guy was either fucking drunk or he is fucking stupid to have cheated on her, considering she is one of the most beautiful girls in our college.

This morning I woke up with a terrible hangover and two girls in my bed, I can't remember last night very clearly but it must have gone very well if I fucked both of them. Sam came into the room while I was about to start round three, I looked at the time and realised that football practice was going to start in an hour and a half. Unfortunately I had to ask the girls to leave and get ready for practice.


The whistle blew, I covered my ears while I shook my head; this was not something I needed this early in the morning.

"Wescott! I told you to run eight laps, not walk them! My dog can do better than you; I'm adding another eight laps for you."

I sighed as I began to pump my legs up and down the football pitch, we had a game in two days and I should have known better to have not gone drinking last night. I passed Sam as he patted my back; I ran and ran around the pitch while everyone continued with the drills. As I passed the football stands, I saw Natalia walking towards the campus with her friend. I ran faster towards them and called out her name.

"Natalia, wait up!" She stopped turning around and gave me that sweet smile that tugged up the corners of my mouth into a smile.

She looked absolutely stunning in just a simple outfit; she wore dark denim jeans that hugged her curves and a dark blue Duke Hoodie. Her long, dark hair was tied up in a high ponytail and her face looked natural, I don't think she put on any make up either.

"Trey? Trey, are you there?" Her friend giggled as I blinked coming back into the real world, I nodded as I laughed nervously.

I took off my helmet to rub the back of my neck smiling at her, "Yeah, I'm here. How are you?"

She bit her lip nodding slightly, "I'm good, and oh this is my roommate and my best friend Allison. She has class with the linebacker, Sam I think his name is."

I looked at Allison, as her red mass of hair fell over her shoulders. I had never heard Sam talk about her before, "Hey, I'm Trey."

She giggled again, "I know, it's nice to meet you. Nats, I'm going to head over to the coffee shop I'll see you over there."

As she left, Natalia pushed her hands into her hoodie pouch shaking her shoulders a bit, "I don't know how you are able to practice in this cold weather. I'd rather be sitting inside with a big cup of hot chocolate and whip cream."

I laughed then smirked at her, "Well, we are men and we have to endure all sorts of weather including rain, snow, hail but you're right, I'd rather be inside licking whipped cream off of you."

My smirk grew bigger as the blush spread over her face, "Trust you to include a sexual comment every time I speak to you. Is that why you left practice, to tell me what you would like to do to me?"

I saw a smile form on her lips as I shook my head, "No I was wondering if you were coming to the game on Friday, I would like it if you were there."

Before she could respond I heard another whistle, "Wescott! I don't get paid for you to talk to a girl. I thought I asked you to run eight laps? Another twelve laps for you."

I groaned as I heard Natalia chuckle, "Maybe you should get back on the pitch bad boy."

She turned around but I grabbed her wrist turning her back to me, "Can you come to the game or not?"

She shook her head, "All the tickets would have been sold out by now and I don't want to stand for the whole four quarters."

I smiled at her exaggeration, "You know the game isn't that long once you begin to enjoy it, how about I give you two of my player tickets so you can bring Allison with you."

She burrowed her eyebrows at me suspiciously, "You only say that because you are playing the game. Are you really going to give me your player tickets?"

I nodded as she smiled throwing her arms around my neck, "Thank you so much Trey." I dropped my helmet to wrap my arms around her, my hands fitted perfectly like a glove on her waist.

"It's okay, meet me outside the library tonight and I'll give them to you." I groaned when I heard the whistle go off again but this time it was right against my ear.

"Wescott! You owe me twenty six laps, put your helmet on and start running. Say goodbye to your friend and run those laps!"

Natalia giggled as she ran her hand through my hair, "I think I've gotten you into trouble, I'll see you tonight bad boy." I watched her jog towards the coffee shop as I placed my helmet onto my head and began running those laps.


Tonight I decided to stay in and do some work since I had a game in two days and knew I would be out partying after. I made my way to the library as I saw Natalia coming through the doors with some books, she turned towards me smiling.

I smiled back at her, "What do you need all those books for?" She smirked at me as laughter shook her body, "Don't tell me you forgot about the test in class on Friday?"

My smile dropped into a frown as I scratched my brain trying to remember what the fuck she was talking about, "We have an Economics test on International trade. Professor Williams told us about it three days ago."

"Oh shit! I completely fucking forgot about that, are you going to study for it now?" I couldn't fail this test or I wouldn't be able to play football until my grades went up in every subject.

Natalia looked at me as she played with the string of her hoodie, "You can come into my room and we can study there, Allison's out with some guy in the basketball team so it's quiet there. If you have something to do, you don't have to."

I smirked pulling her hips towards me, "If I didn't guess it, I would have seemed that you were inviting me back to your room."

Before she could retort, a chilling voice interrupted us as the clapping commenced. I saw Natalia rolling her eyes as I turned my head around.

"I wouldn't think twice about it QB, she won't sleep with you. I should know since I wasted a year and a half on that frigid bitch. Her sweet, innocent personality just draws you in, doesn't it?"

I let go of her pointing my finger at him, "Don't you dare speak about her like that McFadden, and Natalia never deserved someone like you."

Darren McFadden there are many ways to describe him but none of them are good. He wasn't an athlete thank goodness for that or I would have killed him on the field. He is only well known in our class because he throws amazing parties at his frat house. I glanced over at Natalia, who was narrowing her eyes at him as he openly looked her up and down. I clenched my fist wanting to punch this fucking idiot but Natalia spoke before I had a chance to.

Natalia smirked at him as she flipped him the bird, "I told you when we first dated that I wasn't going to sleep with you until I was ready but I guess Abby has been giving you everything that you needed. I wasted a year and a half on you, Darren but you don't see me bothering you about it. You think that I'm going to come back crawling on my knees for you? You better think twice because you never meant anything to me."

I clapped after she said that hell I didn't even know that she had a mean streak in her, she laughed as I gave her a thumbs up. I smirked at McFadden as he frowned storming off as he pushed people out of his way.

She shrugged at me as she strode up towards me, "Why are you looking at me strangely? I can speak for myself you know."

I kissed her temple as we began to walk to her dorm, I laughed at what happened before, "You have bad side in you, girl. I better watch out I don't think I want to be on it."

She laughed as we entered her dorm room but her bedroom wasn't anything I expected it to be. It was blue and white colour code, her bed was neatly made with a blue duvet on top, everything was in its place and on the corner were some Hawaiian artifacts, one of them was a Hawaiian Eye Tiki mug. On her mirror were some pictures of her when she was younger and some that looked quite recent.

I felt a hand on my back, "Do you want to continue exploring my room or eat something and study? I warmed up some paella I made last night." I turned around and noticed that she had taken on her hoodie and that she was wearing a light, long sleeved grey top.

"Yeah sure, I hope you don't poison me with your cooking. I normally only eat the food cooked by one woman, my mom because she won't kill me." I followed her to the kitchenette and opposite her on the island.

She looked at me as I began to eat the food, "I promise that I won't poison but maybe your other fan girls will after they find out that you slept with two cheerleaders last night."

I looked at her as she began to eat her food, I know that I'm a player, I liked to sleep around a lot and had ways attracting the opposite sex but I didn't want her to think I was playing her. I gulped down some apple juice, "Natalia, are you angry that I slept with them?"

She gazed up at me shaking her head as she took a sip of her drink, "No, of course not. I mean you're QB1 and you sleep around anyway, it's your lifestyle and it's not surprising that you would sleep with cheerleaders. I really don't care I just want you to be careful."

We finished our food in silence I had nothing to say after hearing her views about my lifestyle, I know that I sometimes perceive that stereotypical jock that sleeps around with cheerleaders but I maintain high grades and I don't date ever. I watched her pick up the dishes as she started to wash them; I walked behind her pushing her gently out of the way and finished washing the dishes.

"At my house we wash the dishes not the cook." I winked at her as I saw that sweet smile appear, she flopped down on the couch opening the books, "I wished I lived at your house every day."

I sat down next to her groaning at the list of topics she had written down, "We better start studying."


Dear Journal, I came across Darren two days ago, I gave him a piece of my mind after he tried to humiliate me in front of Trey. Every night I dream that I wished I never caught him with Abby, or… I wish that he would have told me the truth, instead of the way I found out the truth. I woke up the next morning in my bed, I don't remember getting in my bed but instead I found a note on my bedside table from Trey. I smiled when I saw his note; I had fallen asleep while we were studying so he tucked me in.

He is a really good person although his lifestyle is very different from mine, he is better than the rest of the guys I see him hang around with. Tonight is the big game against Ohio State, although I'm not a crazy football fan I still enjoy watching the games. Yesterday, I continued to study for the Economics test, I played some tennis with the girls and called Dad.

Allison went out again yesterday and came back complaining about the guy because he left his wallet at home, made her pay for the restaurant bill and the cab. I think she said she wasn't going out with him again and before she goes out with a guy, she'll check if he has cash and for a bonus point: a car.


I checked over my Economics test five minutes before the class was going to end, Trey was sitting two rows in front of me still writing. I wasn't surprised that he came to class but most of the football players hardly came to class or if they did, they would sleep, ask someone to make notes for them (mainly their rally girls) or play around. I don't think that Trey has a rally girl but I guess that is what makes him different compared to the rest of the football players.

The bell rang as Professor Williams called out time, I neatly wrote my name on top and paper clipped the pages together before I handed my test in. I left the class as I felt someone pull me back by my elbow.

"Natalia, how did you find the test? I think I have done really well and have passed. I couldn't have done it without you."

I smiled as we walked together through the campus, I looked at him whilst the sun highlighted his dark brown locks and his green eyes glistened in the sunlight. We walked pass the fountain as I replied, "I thought that it was okay except I wasn't too sure the second question and I'm glad that I could have helped you studying for it. So where are you going, now that you're finished for the day?"

Trey pointed forward looking at the sports center, "I'm going to go to the gym to do some weights before the game."

I looked at him as if he was insane, "Are you serious? You have a game in two hours and you're going to the gym. You should rest instead."

He rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "I am serious. So Ms. Leialoha, what are you planning to do before the game?"

I smiled to myself. My name always sounded differently when it rolled off his tongue, "I'm going to play tennis with some of the girls. I know the season doesn't start until later on in year, but I want to be fit and ready."

The corners of his mouth tugged up into a smile then he laughed out, "You want to be fit and ready? I can find many other ways that I can get you ready for tennis and it includes those groin muscles of yours and mine."

I punched his arm playfully as he bent over in laughter. I smiled when I saw Sam walking over to us. Sam patted Trey's back as he ran his hands through his hair, "Hey Natalia, it seems that you've got Trey to smile. He has been studying like a dog for the last two days."

I pulled my hair over my left shoulder grinning at him, "I know but he believes he has done well and I think that he has too."

Trey gave Sam a man hug. Sam pulled his bag over his shoulder then cleared his throat, "18 I'm going to the gym, are you coming? Natalia, I'm going to take Trey for a while but don't fret I'll bring him back to you."

I scoffed as Trey punched Sam's shoulder mumbling some incoherent words. I looked at Trey as he squeezed my arm, "I'll see you at the game with Allison right?"

I nodded at him," Yeah I'll be there. Trey, are you going to be in your dorm after the game?"

He scrunched his eyebrows up nodding his head slowly but as he was about to ask why, I quickly made my way to the tennis courts.


I had a quick shower after tennis and quickly threw my bag into my room. As I made my way to the football pitch, Allison joined alongside me whilst everyone around us was dressed up in blue and white. Some people had their faces painted and others were screaming 'Blue Devils' at the top of their voices. I looked over at Allison as she was putting her lip gloss on; I shook my head as we got into the line. As we got into the stadium looking for seats, cheerleaders were already on the pitch shaking their pompoms, the other team's students were already in their seats dressed in red and were pumping their fists and screaming 'Go Buckeyes'. Some guys had already bought enough drinks to last them the whole game, while some girls were screaming the surnames of the players.

We sat down and Allison turned to me fluffing her hair with her hands, "Nats, look at that guy over there. He is totally checking you out and he's hot as well…"

I smiled at her shaking my head, "I'm not interested Ally but you can try your luck on him." She laughed as the marching band began to beat the drums indicating that the game was about to begin. I looked upon the field as our football team ran through the banner and stood in place next to the Buckleys' players as everyone in the stands stood up to sing the national anthem.

Afterwards the whistle blew and the players got into their positions, I watched Trey give the first play to his teammates. The game had just begun.


It was the fourth quarter and the score was twenty six –twenty three to the Blue Devils, I turned to look at Allison who was now following the game strategically with that guy who was checking me out before. She had her hand on his thigh as his hand was tangled up in her hair, I don't know how she does it but she has an aura that traps some of the guys in the college and puts them in her palm.

I turned back to the game as I saw Trey throw a thirty yard ball; I stood up with the rest of the crowd who were following the ball. Cheers erupted from our side of the stadium as Sam caught the ball earning us a touchdown; I looked at the scoreboard there was only fifteen seconds left to go. The players got back into their positions to play the final play, the play was called. Trey faked pass the ball to the right and threw to Sam who then threw it back to Trey, I watched him dodge past the Buckeyes' players left and right; my eyes switched quickly from the scoreboard to Trey. Five seconds left. Time was running out. The wide receiver from the other team was running towards Trey but luckily one of his teammates blocked the player as he jumped into the end zone. Everyone around me was screaming whilst the rest of the players ran towards Trey thumping on his back. The cheerleaders were jumping in the air shaking their pompoms; I looked over at Allison as she left with her new friend. My eyes focused back onto the field as Trey smiled at me, I smiled back as he waved me over to come onto the field. I shook my head as I saw him frown; I turned around and walked out of the stadium.


It had been an hour since the game had finished, I decided to give him an hour because of the celebrating he was doing on the field, in the locker room and outside the locker room. I sat down in front of his dorm room, when I finished up my phone call I heard footsteps making their way towards me. I looked up smiling sweetly as Trey made his way to me. I got up smoothing my clothes down and hugged him.

"Amazing game, I didn't think you were going to make the touchdown at the end. You surprised me."

Trey unlocked the door as I went in. He placed his bags in the corner, "You surprised me when you didn't come onto the field and left the stadium. What's going on?"

I motioned for him to sit down as I began pacing around the room, "All my life people have seen me as the good girl, the strong one. Don't get me wrong, I like having that title but I want to do something more in my life and have some fun as well."

I stopped pacing and groaned as I pushed my hair back, this wasn't going well as I planned. I looked at Trey because he was staring at me with a confused look on his face, "You know what forget that I said anything." I grabbed my bag making my way to the door.

"Woah, woah, woah, you're not leaving yet. Sit down and talk to me Natalia." I followed him as he led me back to the couch rubbing circles on my knee. I placed my hand on top of his making him stop so that I could continue.

"Tomorrow night I have a photo exposition and I need a date. Darren was supposed to be my date but… you know and I was wondering if you could be mine for the night."

I pushed my hands into my sleeves nervously as I felt him move forward a bit and pulled my chin up so that my eyes could meet his, "I'll do it but I have a feeling that you have something else to tell me. Natalia, it's me Trey. Talk to me."

I scratched my head a bit as I looked at him, "I want to do something exhilarating, different, adrenaline pumping and I think I can do that with you. I want you to bring out the wild side of me. I know what it is like to have a boyfriend who wants you for one reason."

Trey looked at the wall behind me lost in his thoughts, I know that I was compromising my friendship with him but if I am not willing to risk it, then I don't want it bad enough. His eyes scanned over me as I could feel my nerves shaking through me, "I'll do it for you, but Natalia, I love the way you are now. Why do you want to do this?"

"I don't want to be the good girl anymore."

He nodded as he looked at me, "I'm not going to change you. I want you to still be the good girl but I wouldn't mind seeing your wild side."

Hello everyone! I know that it has been a long time and I would like to say thank you to everyone that has reviewed, subscribed to me and added me and RTF to their favourites and alerts. I would also like to thank everyone that has visited my website and written in the Cbox.

Happy Independence Day to all of my American readers! I am going to update this story every Monday and sometimes there might be two chapters uploaded in one week but I will let you know about that.

I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter and don't forget to let me know what you thought. See you all next Monday!