I remember … Blue, the Coast Guard.
One evening as I was walking the streets of the old lit up city. Night life was creeping out as young and vivacious teenagers roam the sidewalks. Accompanied by my best friend at the time, and her girl- friends, we were about to meet her friends that she recently made.
They were waiting on a bench by a lamp post. I feasted my eyes on the tall one with the news boy cap. He was too good looking for the guys that I felt were attracted to me. So I settled for the next best thing, (or the only other option really), his shorter, stubby friend.
I focused on getting to know his friend and his interests as he strummed on his guitar; meanwhile, the other girls swoon and drooled over the disinterested Blue. He seemed bored and tired, like he rather be sleeping. I thought maybe I made the right choice after all, as I later learned that his friend was more the sensitive type who spoke of the last time his heart was broken. What girl doesn't cling to a hurting male.
The night progressed, and though I thought his friend was rather nice and could possibly imagine a next date, he was way more eager than I.
Another date, to the movies alone with the friend and then another date followed. He was easy on the eyes: built with a buzzed golden head, since he was a blonde, and blue eyes. He at least was two inches taller than me, so it wasn't that bad. I began to notice a pattern in his slightly obsessive behavior, as I then dreadfully continued to see him.
On another night, I went with my best friend up to the light house they were staying in that week. Blue and his friends showed us around, and by then I got a nicer impression of him. I took off with his friend to walk the dark beaches surrounded by black shadows of the trees, feeling as though I were on the island of Jurassic Park and any moment some carnivorous beast would lunge an attack. Aside from trying not to look back, before me was a beautiful silver moon glistening over the ebony waters. And to my right I beheld the glorious sight of a light house and the silent siren of its rotating light.
I thought this too magical a place to be with someone I didn't genuinely love. Not that I felt love at that point. I chose to end it that night, and was about ready to leave. Waiting by the car, I heard the footsteps of my friend and Blue approaching. And there before my eyes I saw enough evidence to completely terminate any destiny for Blue and I. Their hands held together and the smile on her face, to make any unlucky girl jealous. She got Blue.
2 years later, nothing became of Blue and my friend, instead we became good friends. Only thing is… I was convinced he saw me as a little sister, as he was indeed a few years older. Throughout the time we had bumped into each other often, ( thus he lived in a small apartment in that old city, a block away from my college). Forcing us to talk more and keep updated on each other's lives, like who we were dating for instance.
We found common ground, on that we were both virgins, and one day he shared the horrible news of how he regretfully wasn't anymore. The "psycho woman" he called her, was now living with him and he wanted to end it but seemed afraid… of her. Poor Blue.
On the next future meeting, I bumped into Blue as the day was turning into night. He confessed in relief that his "psycho woman" was gone for good. We exchanged laughs and smiles as he recounted the occasions where he'd talk to me from his balcony, and she very paranoid, would interrogate him on who I was.
That night was full of mesmerizing lights; not only in the streets but in our eyes, as we finally had the freedom to enjoy each other's friendly company without limitations … or so it seemed. The night was sadly coming to an end. It was some hour past midnight, we didn't care. Arriving close to where I had parked, by a historic cemetery, where tourists and artists would frequently visit. It had a different feel that night, almost romantic.
We jumped the gate and felt like daring little adventurers, as we walked to the end. The end, a short wall that over looked the black ocean, with a very familiar silver moon out to greet me once again. The mood was set, the music in our hearts played on, the nerves not quite under control but that didn't hinder me. I felt the urge to confess a little secret, which to my surprise was a secret he too shared.
A brief set of nervous chuckles danced around our hazy thoughts, as we reminisced of all the instances our paths crossed and us oblivious to the others feelings. Like the time we first met, how I assumed him distant and jaded, and he envious of his friend for having "snagged" me.
What a laugh, who would have thought it? All this time, wasted. He was about to leave and be stationed elsewhere. How unfair. My only solution was to give him a good bye kiss.
When these moments presented themselves, and I was engaged like tunnel vision, I'd feel a force take the seat and drive me through. And after it was said or done, I'd wonder where that person went; leaving me with the shyness that even I felt deceiving.
The kiss was magical, as was to be expected. It screamed "finally!" and "what took us so long!" and then it cried "I have to go". Needless to say we tried the long distance thing, but after several months we faced the reality that no matter how strong our feelings were, this could not work. Several years later, Blue is now happily married… but not to me.