An: AHHH! Wrote this quickly at 4am, NOT EDITED so mistakes are bound to be found, but enjoy nonetheless, it's short and sweet :). This story will be finished by the end of summer; at least that's the goal. Special thanks to thescarletrose96 for reviewing
This entire week has been a living hell. And not for reasons you might think.
It was awful because I was completely healthy; I had enough energy in me to run an entire marathon well maybe just a half marathon. But still, it was incredible how full of energy I was.
But at the same time it was awful, because the first time I don't look like a sick dying person, Hope's not here to see it.
She's not here to see how I'm getting some colour back in face how I ate an entire meal without throwing it up after, how I played in the game center with Maggie for half an hour without sounding and looking like I would collapse in any minute.
The worst part was, she didn't visit. At all.
Not a phone call, nothing. And I was mad.
Yes, I know I was being dramatic and selfish or whatever, but I wanted her to stay because I needed her. I didn't know how much time I had left and is she was going to go back home every other week, I was terrified that she would come back and I would be gone.
But no, the one week she isn't here, my body decides it wasn't to be a normal teen.
Then on Saturday night, just as I get excited out of my mind that she's coming the next day, I get sick.
I feel weak and my entire body hurts, I feel like the sick, helpless Jonny she's getting to know and I don't want to feel that way. I so badly want her to see me full of life but as always, my body disagrees with me.
"Jonathan! Only a couple more hours and guess who'll be here." Maggie said, entering my room.
We had gotten a bit closer since we were both without our closest friend for the week and we had become each other's company. It was nice to have someone to talk to so I didn't fee like I was loosing my mind.
I took out the oxygen mask from my mouth and responded with an;
"I know." And quickly put it back because even that small word took the breath right out of me.
She frowned. "She didn't call you or anything, did she?"
I shook my head as I looked down at Maggie's hand and could see fresh cuts. When she noticed I was looking she pulled it back shyly and sat down on the chair next to my bed.
"Well, she does that. Never calls or even drops by the week she's out of here. But I don't blame her, why would you call or visit a place where you don't want to be? If I got a week back home I'd probably run away and never come back, y'know?"
I nodded, because I didn't trust my own breath and I was just feeling overwhelmed.
I closed my eyes and tried to bring happy thoughts in my head, because even though Maggie was a good person and I did like her as human being, she had the tendency of bringing a completely negative atmosphere with here everywhere she goes.
I looked at Jonathan as he was sleeping and wondered again why I couldn't have someone as amazing as him in my life.
He was perfect. He listened to me when I talked and helped me out in a week more than all these doctors have tried to since I've been here.
He was like an angel, sent to help me, to cure me.
But there was two things I was certainly positive about.
1) He was dying.
Anyone with eyes could see this. He was so pale, and fragile looking. Almost like if you blink, he'd be gone.
That's why I was so scared when he came to the game room on Monday and challenged me to a game of just dance 3. Especially when he jumped around, full of joy and even beat me. I remember being happy for Hope because it looked as if Jonny was cured.
But then the week passed by and we spent every waking minute of it together. Like we built some sort of bond on a new level.
For me, it wasn't friendship but not quite love.
He was just so perfect.
But then Saturday morning he didn't come get me to got tot the game room and I knew I had somehow managed to curse him.
Everything around me crumbles, everything I wan eventually dies. It's like I've got the finger of death.
Jonny was dying, I was positive of it.
2) He was already in love with Hope.
There's no dying this. When he talks about her, his eyes light up. Hell, he's entire face lights up. And it hurts me to watch.
He's in love with her but she doesn't deserve him.
He was kind; he cared about people and their feelings. He opened his eyes to possibilities, he dreams of a future that's not guaranteed, he's a good person.
He doesn't deserve her.
She's hurting. Maybe not more than me, but she is still hurting. Her heart's fragile. She needs stability. She needs unconditional love and something permanent, not temporary.
I deserved him.
I want to end the pain. I want to die.
He deserved me.
He wants to end the pain. He's going to die.