The cold dark November days had started to seep into reality.
She faced many challenges now. There was no one left to hold her hand. Hold her tightly away from the darkness.
She wanted those warm arms to wrap her up and bring her back to that summer day…
Memories of the past…
Sitting in the park at midnight on the wet dewy grass, waiting for the fireworks to flare.
The bonfire wasn't as warm as it was in his arms. Just to have his husky scent intoxicate her and make her lighter than air. While his murmured suggestions left nothing to be desired.
Memories that when dragged to the surface, twist and swirl in her mind. All she had were the pictures in her scrapbook; the stories in her journal.
They seemed cruel, they had him. She did not.
Her life so fragile that would smash with his name.
She comes here every year. Same night, same time.
Sitting by a marble tombstone as dusk settles in.
She loved the warm pastel sea that spread above her;
It reminded her of his funny smile, his cheeky jokes and his joyful laugh.
He always use to say when she was falling into the land of sleep, that the pastel pink that the sun cast at this time, reminded him of her lips. His lips caressing her in endless amounts of bliss.
But they faded in the November brambles. The winter sun in November left her feeling cold.
In November, she would curl up beside him, under a warm duvet; they would talk about the little impossibilities.
He laughed and turn to her and wrap his arms. She would call his bluff and raise him a kiss. While he would lay his winning hand inside her thigh and score the jackpot.
Now, in late November, She curls up in endless covers to escape the truth that has faced so many times. The truth a bitter edge in life's mirror showing the ravaging fact. He's not coming back.
She crawls out from his side; It would be dusk soon…
She slept more than she should, the dreams were the only place she could see his face clearly.
Closing her eyes was the only way to defy reality.
He would her wake up by flicking cold water on her. She would laugh and pounce on him.
People said they would grow up and grow apart.
But even now they felt close to one another.
She knew what he would say and what he would do; so she would lie to herself and pretend he did.
That he was still here.
She opens a tiny gate to the graveyard.
She is not afraid of this place. It provides an odd comfort to her.
A place to think.
She isn't the five year old who cowered away from this place.
She came here to feel closer to him.
He was sleeping here besides strangers; He didn't belong here.
He wasn't ready to die. She knew that.
He was trapped in some hole, unable to get out.
Like a prisoner in solitary confinement.
She visited here to give him a taste of freedom.
Make his veins pump with a sense of living.
Have you ever wanted to rewind time and relive those moments with the person you loved?
Have you ever been so in love with that one boy, who made everything better even when it wasn't?
Have you ever wanted reality to be wrong?
Have you ever wished life to pity you? Give you back what you lost.
Well have you?
She has. She cried these wishes before slipping under a wave of exhaustion.
She sits beside a marble tombstone.
Her hand wipes away the dew that collected from the storm last night.
She smiles as she feels the warmth clasp at the small of her back.
"Not here." She half-giggled. The warmth spread up to her neck. Then the warmth spread to her lips.
She touched her lips.
"Don't make this harder for me." She cried.
She places her single red rose in front of it.
And leans on his stone tablet.
"I miss you Jake. Every day."
She kisses the stone tablet.
"I will always love you. There is no one who could replace you."
She felt a strong, warm, breeze pick up and lift her dress up.
"Jake!" She gasped while trying to straighten her dress while a distant wolf whistle made her blush.
As she walked away, a whisper caught her ear.
"I love your butt in those pants, Kay!"