A Selfless Fool Is A Dying One
"Why?" She asks me.
"Why what?" I ask her.
"Why would you do this?" She cries.
I smile as best I can, trying to mask the unbearable pain I'm feeling. "Because..." I start.
"Because?" She whimpers.
I laugh lightly. "Isn't it obvious?"
She gives me an angry look. "Don't! Do not play mind games with me now! I mean it!" She orders.
I touch her tear stained cheek affectionately, hoping to bring some comfort to her. "I've never played mind games. Haven't I always said it's a matter of perspective?"
"Stop it!" She screams. "I hate you! I hate you for doing this to me! How could you? How could YOU do this?"
I can see she's breaking, but I did this for her after all. She may not have believed me before, but I love her more than she could ever imagine.
"You're a fool..." I whisper. She looks at me again with her glazed eyes. "I told you before that I...I..." Feeling it now, death's grip, it's cold. 'Not yet!' I shout in my head. 'I'm not finished yet! I need to...!'
"No!" She calls me back to life. "Don't you die! Don't you dare die! I told you before that I won't allow you to get your own way! Do you understand? I will not lose you!" She pauses briefly, and notices that my death is inevitable. "No...no stay with me! I can't lose you! Do you understand? I've chosen you!" She sees I'm slowly fading."I..." She whimpers. "I love you..."
And with that, I find just enough strength to look her in the eyes with as much love as I can, place my hand behind her neck, smile weakly and say, "I have always loved you..." I slowly fall into darkness. "I...will always..." My head slowly rests on the wet ground as I choke out the last word of my life. "...love..." And with that, I become lifeless.
She calls my name repeatedly, before realizing I am truly gone. "...You fool..." Her tears start to overflow once more. "You fool...you selfless..." She grits her teeth, closes her eyes and looks to the ground, pained that I have left her. "...fool..." She says under her breath. "Damn you! Why've you done this! Why? WHY? How could you leave me? You idiot! You goddamn..." She looks at me once more and whispers her favourite name for me one last time. "...Fool..."
Perhaps I am a fool. But if dying for her makes me a fool, makes her hate my guts, I would gladly repeat it. I love her, she hates me for it. She loves me, she hates me for that. I die for her, she hates me for that too. But in the end she knows my most important message to her is: I will always love you.