It was still dark in the kitchen when he stumbled in, eyes crusty with sleep, hungry for breakfast. He looked in the refrigerator for bacon and eggs, but to no avail. He looked for cereal in the pantry, found a box of fruit loops, and returned to the fridge for milk. Alas, no milk was to be found. He looked in the bread box. There! A slice of bread lay in box, tantalizing in her slutty whole-grain way. He ripped her out of the box, away from all she had ever known, and upon smelling her freshness, lowered her delicately into the toaster. He cranked the toaster's dial to high. He pressed the lever, dropping the bread into the hot depths of the toaster. He had no idea of the events he had set into motion.
The bread languished in the toaster's red-lit bowels, growing crispier and crispier. She felt that she could endure no more when a cool blast of air leaped down into the toaster, accompanied by light. No, it hadn't leaped down. She had popped up! He eyed her, looking dissatisfied. "Fuck", he muttered as he threw her into the garbage. "I burned it".