or Portrait of a Shy Girl Trying to Lose Her Virginity

Full Summary: Danella Camden, Dany, is a nineteen year old college sophomore. Shy, insecure, and a bit overdramatic she's the average girl next door. She's stressed about school and friends and normal teenager drama. Right now she's on her way to her best friend Caleb's dorm to ask him to fuck her. But true to the socially awkward teenage heroine character her plans don't exactly work out. She takes it well (she totally doesn't) and gracefully accepts his rejection by calling him an asshole. But all is not lost for Dany, after Caleb turns her down, she sets out on a "quest" to find her perfect guy, and ultimately herself.

Hey! Thanks for stopping by. Just a heads up, this probably isn't going to be that long. And updates are going to be pretty sporadic, though I'm going to try to be as consistent as I can.

Also just to clarify, this is rated M for a reason. So expect lots of cursing, some sexual content, and offbeat humor. So if you don't like... please don't read. It's not that hard, come on now people -_-.

Any and all critique is taken with open arms, so leave a comment if you so wish.

Enjoy :)

~FMC

1. I want you to fuck me

Walking into the building opposite of mine I'm greeted by a cold gust of air conditioning. The Florida heat considered it's a glorious thing. But moving from one freezing dorm complex to another freezing dorm complex just isn't doing it for me. I'd hoped the walk would be longer, but seeing as how I make this trip several times a week I should know different. I want the warmth and to stay outside for a bit and I would, if the matter at hand wasn't of the utmost urgency.

Walking straight towards the elevator and clicking the button, I wait. I'm contemplating taking the stairs when the elevator dings its arrival. Out spills about seven frat boys and trying to avoid them the best I can I make my way inside. Pressing the six I will this machine to go faster.

The second it's out I bolt for Cale's room. Opening the door and slamming it behind me I make sure that none of his roommates are in. "Cale I need you!"

"Umm?" he says, taking the headphones from his ears.

"I need to talk to you," I say slowly sitting on his bed. His eyes follow me from the desk. He's used to my overdramatic-ness so this is nothing new to him. But this matter, this is different.

"Talk then. I have a Calc test in two days and I have to study."

"Put the fucking calculus down."

Giving me a strange look he puts the book down and turns to face me, knowing I won't leave him alone until he at least pretends to pay attention to me. "Well…?"

"I want you to fuck me."

"...the fuck?"

"Right now. I'm ready, let's go." If I wasn't so serious I would definitely take a picture of his face right now. Slack jawed and wide eyed, I think the look works for him. He's absolutely surprised and I can kinda understand why but this shouldn't be too much of a shock for him. We've had this discussion before.

"Dany. Where the fuck is this coming from?"

"We've had this discussion before!" I yell at him.

"When? When was this?" Cale is really freaking out now, more than I expected to.

"We were like 16 and I was bitching about being a virgin and you said in a couple of years if we were both single and I wanted to that we could have sex." It comes out as more of a whine than the dignified explanation I was hoping for.

And so returns of the look of absolute shock. "Was I drunk?"

"No. You were perfectly sober. You came to my house the week before you left for California summer going into our junior year and we hung out."

"Dany…" he says reasonably but I'm not having any of that.

"No Cale. Don't do this to me. You fucking owe me and you know it. I'm calling up on this favor and I want it now for all the shit you put me through in high school with your and Emma's breakup. I never ask for anything. This is the ONE thing I want. Please," I finish desperately. "Please. I never ask you for ANYTHING. And you have no problem fucking random girls. Why am I any different?"

"Because you're you."

"Shouldn't that make it easier. At least you know I don't have any STDs," I say trying to lighten the mood but his face remains solemn.

"Dany…"

"Don't say my name like that," I stand from his bed with a sigh. "Thanks for nothing I guess."

"Dany don't go," he says moving to the door to block my exit.

"If you're not gonna help me there's no point in my staying here."

"Fuck… Don't be mad at me. This is really fucking random. I don't have the time for this, I can't fail calculus."

"I hope you and calculus have fun together," I reply grumpily trying to push him out of the way of the door but he doesn't budge. I stand there with my arms crossed over my chest with a face screaming "get the fuck out of my way."

He looks at me bemusedly in reply. "You know that's not what I meant. Let me think about this ok? I have to concentrate on Calculus. I failed my last test and I can't fail this one ok. I'll call you after the test. And we'll TALK about this. Like reasonable adults," he says the last part with a small smile and I find some of my anger disappearing. "I can't just go around deflowering my friends. What kind of ass would that make me?"

"Not an ass. A good friend," I grumble.

"No. Not a good friend. An asshole." He speaks clearly and slowly, like talking to a mentally retarded puppy. Last I checked I wasn't a mentally retarded puppy. "C'mere," he says pulling me into a hug. When he does things like this I can never stay mad at him for long. I don't return the hug but I find myself wanting to. I'm going to be the winner in this. "Just go home and sleep on it ok," he says with his arms still around me. "I'll call you in a couple of days and we'll sort this out."

"Fine," I sigh, pushing myself away from him.

"Now get the fuck out," he points to the door. I flip him the bird and he kisses it.

"My, aren't you hospitable," I say sarcastically, opening the door and stepping out of his room. He gives me a little pat on the ass before slamming the door in my face and presumably going back to studying. I would give him a piece of my mind for that but I just don't have it in me.

Walking back to my dorm I feel dejected. He didn't exactly say no, and I probably shouldn't have blindsided him like that, but I can't help the feeling. The trip back to my room is nothing more than a zombie walk. Turning the knob on my door I make a noncommittal noise of greeting to my roommate before dropping onto my bed.

That situation went much differently in my head. I really don't want to think about it anymore. I'm just getting a headache and this nauseous feeling in my stomach. I feel so stupid for doing that but I didn't know where else to go. I attempt to banish the thoughts to the farthest recesses of my mind, and try to take Cale's advice and sleep.