Author's Note: This was a difficult story to write. I read four novels on this, one movie, and one TV show. Addiction is something that my family has never experienced. I have lost many friends to drugs. They were nice people until they made friends with a substance. This story has been rated "M" for substance abuse, touchy subject matter, and content.
Chapter Twelve: Black Lagoon
It has been well over a month since I ran out of my marshmallow world. I'm not sure if I like it or not. Without it, I'm not acting like my mother. Maybe without it I'm acting like the Jezebel Reyes who I want to be. I'm not exactly sure who that person is, but I know that it's who I was with Trey.
I need to stay as far away from him as possible. For now, this part is easy because I don't know where he is. But I don't know what I'm going to do if and when he comes back.
I need to stay away. I know that, but I can't I need someone to float with me.
Float with me for I have no faith. I fear that my is end is nearing. I fear that my time is nearly up. There is a change in the tide now. I hope it allows me to drift out to sea and not drag me back to Island Trey.
Float with me through the murky waters of the unknown. Try to give me a positive outlook. Give me those sweet, words of wisdom that you are known for. I don't know whose wisdom I am longing for, but I just want someone to guide me through these unclear waters. I need someone to tell me that everything is okay.
Float with me through this never ending black lagoon. Help me get faith. I have no hope. I help me pick myself up and get back into grace.
Help me get out of this black lagoon. I want to escape it. I can't. My black lagoon just came back.
I know that I shouldn't go back to him. I know, but I can't help myself. I'm just not strong enough to stay away from him.
He's back with more of them. I know that I will go back to him, even though I shouldn't. I can't stop myself. I need to be by his side.
Oh, well. I do like my marshmallow world.