Winter was wading through a sea of hands

that wanted to pull me under.

Winter was sitting and freezing in layer upon layer

of clothes,


Winter wrapped me in the porcelain coffin of a girl who died for beauty.

Spring was a threat, baby pay me back that debt

to mom and dad

on some days,some days

life was just a haze.

Spring treated me for the monster in my heart,

engulfed me in wasted love and f a t t e n e d my frame.

Summer is diet coke and mosquitoes,

the leeching mothers that suck my thin blood to feed their babies.

Summer is my own mosquito mommy,

(oh don't you wanna love me?)

coddling me through meals and midnight bingeing

one a.m. purging and

weak shrill singing.