I realized something.
I don't know why I haven't thought of it sooner.
I was too busy thinking of the pain to see
That nobody's purposely hurting me anymore.
I thought about my past,
And I came to terms with it.
It happened, it's done.
It's time to move on.
The past is the past; it can't hurt me now.
Then I thought about how my birthday
Is in just over a month.
How many times did I think that
I'd never see that day.
Now it's close, and I'm still here.
My heart still beats, and I still breathe.
This life hasn't taken everything away.
I have my friends—my sisters,
My family, and my ability to write.
For the first time in a long time,
I actually feel alive.
Far from perfect, far from completely happy,
My brother made a joke,
And I laughed—a laugh that wasn't false.
The monsters aren't here now;
They're gone with the wind, far behind me.
I cried, let tears fall, just from thinking,
Something I haven't done in months.
I can move on now.
I'm not dead anymore.
I have my friends, and that's all I need.
Now I can try to help them,
Not the other way around.
But for now, I say
I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry about me.
I don't want to let go,
I just want to live.
Death's had its grip on me for far too long.
I'm alive, and I can still feel.
I can love, and that's keeping me here.
I want to move on, for once,
Instead of letting go.
Maybe my prayers have finally paid off.
I'm finally moving on.