Moving On

I realized something.

I don't know why I haven't thought of it sooner.

I was too busy thinking of the pain to see

That nobody's purposely hurting me anymore.

I thought about my past,

And I came to terms with it.

It happened, it's done.

It's time to move on.

The past is the past; it can't hurt me now.

Then I thought about how my birthday

Is in just over a month.

How many times did I think that

I'd never see that day.

Now it's close, and I'm still here.

My heart still beats, and I still breathe.

This life hasn't taken everything away.

I have my friends—my sisters,

My family, and my ability to write.

For the first time in a long time,

I actually feel alive.

Far from perfect, far from completely happy,

But alive.

My brother made a joke,

And I laughed—a laugh that wasn't false.

The monsters aren't here now;

They're gone with the wind, far behind me.

I cried, let tears fall, just from thinking,

Something I haven't done in months.

I can move on now.

I'm not dead anymore.

I have my friends, and that's all I need.

Now I can try to help them,

Not the other way around.

But for now, I say

I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry about me.

I don't want to let go,

I just want to live.

Death's had its grip on me for far too long.

I'm alive, and I can still feel.

I can love, and that's keeping me here.

I want to move on, for once,

Instead of letting go.

Maybe my prayers have finally paid off.

I'm finally moving on.