"If I had boobs, I would use them as grappling hooks. Or battering rams." – Gage

Now, let's dissect this, shall we?

Gage has always been a funny guy. You know the type, Jay Baruchel-looks, self-deprecating and cynical, but in an endearing way, that makes you want to be around him.

The point being: Gage may be funny and kind and a good guy, but when it comes to girls, he is clueless.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing – if you're gay – but sometimes the lunch table conversations take a turn because we have to elaborate on things for poor 'ol Gage.

For example: boobs. (See above quotation).

See, Gage was convinced (I say was, but it's probably is) that boobs were some sort of gift given to girls, instead of just hanging there; they had a purpose, like a weapon on a tool belt.

Which, I mean, if you're a guy, and you are given boobs for a day or whatever, maybe in some small part of your brain, you'd think you could use them for random tasks that make absolutely no sense, instead of just fondling yourself. I get it. But…so, so, wrong were Gage's assumptions.

First off, let's just start this from the day girls start to grow.

Oh my God I'm totally kidding!

But seriously.

No.