Chapter 1: Good Little Girl

SE·CRET noun\'sē-krət\

1 : something kept hidden or unexplained: MYSTERY

2 : something kept from the knowledge of others or shared only confidentially with a few

Everyone has secrets – some shallow and irrelevant, others dark, dirty and seductive. The latter ones would be those that you struggle the hardest to stay concealed.

I had no secrets. What was there to uncover? My life was an open book, as boring as boring went. I had a middle-class upbringing with a family who put the Brady Bunch to shame. High grades all throughout school and lucky enough to enter the top state university. After college, I got accepted into a large local corporation and worked my way up to become a training manager. I was now engaged to be married to my long-time boyfriend John. Even my long-sleeved sweaters and almost austere ponytail lent credibility to my perfectly normal, decent, if a bit dull, life.

I had no secrets. Or at least that's what I always said, perhaps even more than necessary. But like all good little girls, I lied. I did have one. One and only one secret.

His name was Luke.

How would anyone start such a story?

I had a richy-rich classmate in college. Margo – with the long, wavy cascade of hair and Cheshire cat grin. We were practically forced to become thesis partners. Because of her party-hardy ways and a really nasty bout I had with tonsillitis, we both missed that day everyone in class paired up. I was actually quite pissed about the whole thing at first, thinking I would probably do all the shitty ass work and she'd merely provide the resources I needed. I wasn't wrong.

I spent a considerable amount of time in her house in Alabang during those days, almost eight years ago. We were almost finished with our thesis when she purposely stalked over to me one night and petulantly snapped off the power of the computer monitor. She declared she wanted to go out, her tone clearly indicating I didn't have much of a choice but to join her.

I looked up at her placidly and said yes, much to her delighted shock. I was in desperate need of a drink, after being in front of a computer screen the entire afternoon. And yeah, I wanted to see how these spoiled, rich brats spent their Friday nights.

We slipped into our heavily padded bras and got dressed. I wasn't surprised when Margo shimmied into a tight, blood-red strapless number. The safest outfit in her walk-in closet was a black one-shoulder asymmetrical dress, which made me feel naked when I put it on, but still appeared like a winter coat compared to what she wore. I decided this was what I was wearing tonight.

I looked at myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. My long, usually frizzy hair had been calmed down with a straightening iron. The cat eye Margo painted on my lids and the bold plum lip color made me look, well, sultry. The slim heel of my nude-colored sandals made my short legs seem slimmer.

Margo's half-German boyfriend Rafa, silent and mostly aloof, picked us up at a little before midnight in his sleek black Volvo. We shot straight through the door, not bothering to ask permission or even inform anybody where we were going.

The interiors of the club were beautiful, with high, mirrored ceilings and plush, Louis XV-inspired furniture. The electronic dance music contrasted dramatically against the interiors and fueled the giddy, volatile atmosphere of the crowd.

All of Margo's friends were there, drinks and expensive celphones in hand, grinding to the beat in the dark, crowded club. Expensive duds, intoxicating music, Ecstasy-induced high. I was immediately handed a glass of whiskey and Coke and introduced to just about everyone. Within minutes, I lost count of the many nameless boys and girls I cheek-kissed and said hi to. Within an hour, I lost count of the many glasses of that cocktail I consumed too.

Sometime past my alcohol limit, this tall guy in a dark v-neck shirt sidled next to me, seemingly out of nowhere. "Hey," he said, giving me a sexy half-smile. His gaze was unapologetically appreciative, roving up my legs to the exposed skin of my collarbone. The hue in his pupils changed as he swept over my neck, my lips, then my eyes. Before I could fathom out a response, he closed his eyes and continued moving his hips to the music.

Strong square jaw. Thick, wild hair, with equally thick brows. Golden, tawny skin. Taut, amazing body. My heart thundered inside my chest. Oh, yeah, baby.

Margo purposely sought her way to us, clasping bottled water in one hand and Rafa's arm in the other. She threw a wicked smile at my tall, sexy stranger, but he merely ignored her and focused on seducing the devil out of me.

She playfully pulled me aside and dropped a meaningful whisper in my ear. "The name's Luke. Son of a former governor. Fucking loaded. Richer than anybody else in here. And careful, good little girl – he always gets his way."

I sidled back next to him and continued dancing as my bitchy witch of a friend floated away, laughing. Luke, Luke. Oh, yeah, Luke. I let his name slither in and out of my alcohol-soaked mind.

The way he moved, coupled with the liquor coursing through my veins, made me think of the words raw, savage, dangerous, delicious. Oh yes, delicious. Dangerous, delicious, dangerous, delicious, my brain chanted as our bodies discovered a rhythm and moved together like there was no tomorrow.

Soon I was leaning against his hard, solid chest as we swayed in time to the throb of the music. My eyes strayed back to peer into his face and saw he was staring at me through half-open lids.

"Wanna take a break?" he murmured huskily in my ear and I nodded. A few feet away, Margo caught my eye and gave me another sly, knowing grin as she spun around in Rafa's arms. I returned her smile, heady from Luke's nearness, and let him take my hand to lead me to a dark corner by the bar.

I leaned against the wall and he pressed the entire length of his body against mine, still slightly swaying to the beat. His smile was lazy, his stare a bit unfocused. "Margo's friend, right?" he said, leaning down to gently tease my ear with his lips.

A shiver ran down my back, too blatantly pleasurable to ignore. "Yeah," I managed to reply coolly. "I didn't catch your name?"

"Luke," he smiled. "Who you with?"

"No one. You?"

He disregarded the question I tossed back at him. "You coming to the after party?" His hands were now resting on the wall, pinning me to where I stood, overpowering me with his slow, seductive pelvic moves.

I could not take my eyes off him. I could not think straight, what with my sensitive nipples rubbing against him and the tingling fire spreading from deep between my legs to the rest of my body. "Of course," I found myself saying.

When we went back to the throttle of writhing bodies, Luke announced we were now going to hit Nikki's place. Everyone followed his instructions in a heartbeat. Clearly, he led this sophisticated pack of wolves. What he said, they did. Bills were dismissed, drinks quickly downed and the gang trooped out of the club within minutes.

The parking lot was quiet, save for our laughter, the click-clack of heels and strains of fading music from the club. I was thankful Luke had his arm possessively around me, else I wouldn't be able to walk properly in my wobbly high-heeled feet and alcohol-spiked vision.

The group then slowed down to a stop and fell silent. Apparently, only Rafa and their other friend JJ brought cars. I had no idea how we were going to cram 15 bodies into two vehicles, and everyone else must have had the same thought.

Luke tugged on my hand and led me to JJ's Range Rover. "You OK to share the front seat?" he whispered in my ear.

My pulse quickened once again. Share the front seat? You mean, like, sit on your lap? But I managed to shrug, putting on an unaffected air, as if I sat on sexy strangers' laps every time I went to yet another stranger's house with a carload of people I had just met that night. "Sure."

Margo and the others ambled over to where Rafa was parked, while the rest climbed into the Range Rover. Luke easily swung himself into the SUV's front seat – and I was left to fit myself into the space his thighs – and obvious rock-hard erection – offered.

I was far from offended. Oh, shit, this is just so fucking sexy. I can't believe this is happening. In fact, I was thrilled, exhilarated by the alcohol and the hot, molten attention he directed at me.

"You okay?" he asked, soft enough so only I can hear. The Range Rover roared to life and peeled out of the parking lot within seconds.

I laughed gently. "You're enjoying this too much," I accused. God, did he really have to stare at me like that? Like he wanted to lick a line from my shoulder going up my ear, shuck away my clothes and devour me slowly for dessert?

He kept whispering inane things in my ear, making me giggle like the stupid, drunk girl that I was, as the vehicle headed back to the dark, quiet streets of Margo's posh village.

Luke then wrapped his right arm around my waist, resting his hand lightly on my side. His fingers then slowly splayed open, now blatantly cupping my left breast. My breath hitched in my throat and my eyes fluttered shut as another surge of warmth, delicious & searing, spread all throughout my body and settled into an ache deep inside my abdomen. I dimly realized he was probably testing how I'd react to his naughty actions as he started caressing the soft mound of flesh.

His forwardness making me feel bolder, I settled more comfortably into his lap, nestling his stiff cock right in the apex of my thighs through the thin material of Margo's dress. His arm around me tightened momentarily when I pressed further down to grind my hips against the strain in his pants.

"JJ," he said suddenly, his voice low and gruff, but still cutting through the chatter, "make a left and just drop me off at my house. I'll get the car and follow you to Nikki's."

I felt my face burn at the thought of his friend's gaze skimming over our very suggestive position. It wasn't very difficult to infer that we wouldn't really be following them to wherever the hell Nikki's place was, given only a few articles of clothing hindered what we wanted to do in that car seat.

"Yeah," JJ replied dismissively, a little smirk on his lips, his eyes on the road. He didn't even notice! Or if he did, he didn't give a shit. It sure seemed like no one else inside the car did.

A few agonizing minutes later, Luke and I slid out the Range Rover amidst shouts and jeers of "You better really swing by Nikki's!" and "No bullshit now!" Luke just chuckled and waved his friends away but hot color rose to my cheeks and I kept my head bowed down. The car quickly skidded away down the empty street as he punched in the code to open the solid steel gates of their house.

I looked around the large expanse of Luke's garage, then quickly checked my watch. It was a little past 3:00AM. I honestly didn't know where exactly I was, how I was going to get back to Margo's house, if I was coming out alive after tonight – and I found myself not caring. I just wanted to be with him.

LUST noun\'ləst\


2 : intense or unbridled sexual desire : LASCIVIOUSNESS

"I'll just grab the car keys in my room," Luke said quietly as we made our way to the front door, nodding slightly at the security guard who gave us a small salute and a polite, murmured greeting. It made me wonder for a second if he really meant to follow everyone else to the after party.

But as soon as the guard disappeared out of sight, Luke swung me around and pinned me hard against the huge oak door. My heart accelerated in my chest as he quickly closed the distance between our faces and shoved his tongue past my lips to wrestle with mine.

I didn't resist. I wanted this, all of this. My arms wound around his neck on their own accord, pulling him nearer. God, he tasted too good. Warm and sweet, utterly masculine, with hints of Jack Daniels…

Good little girl? She is so gone.

He nibbled hungrily on my lips, paying special attention to the bottom part, then dipped his tongue back in again. As we kissed, his hands roamed greedily over my back, my sides and finally settled under my butt. And as his mouth found its way to my jaw and down the column of my throat, he lifted me up to press his hard-on against my already soaked panties.

I moaned, loud and unrestrained. Fuck, he was turning me on so bad. I couldn't think, didn't want to think. He was driving me crazy, repeating my name over and over again. He continued grinding his crotch against me, and I felt my hips rise to match the pumping movements his were doing.

No one was following anyone to Nikki's.

The house was dim, quiet and intimidating. I would have normally paused to admire the large framed paintings on the wall, but not tonight. Definitely not tonight. Luke silently led me past the foyer, past the large living room, up the long, curved staircase and into what I supposed was his room. Muted yellow light from bedside lamps showed a large, surprisingly neat space. The air conditioner had been left on, as was the stereo softly playing what I thought was some old hiphop soul, either D' Angelo or Maxwell.

He didn't waste time. I didn't want him to.

His arms encircled to crush me against his sexy, rock-hard body, even before he kicked the door shut. I angled my face upward and cupped his head with both hands to succumb to his kiss. His tongue, warm and teasing, expertly explored my mouth. He tasted my lips, my teeth, my tongue, making my world tilt dangerously out of axis and drawing a sigh out of me.

But it was his fingers persisting past my skirt and stroking the flimsy barrier my panties made that elicited a weak, thoroughly aroused moan from deep inside me. It was a sound I never thought I was capable of making.

He then roughly yanked my panties aside and finally invaded the moistness beneath. His fingers skimmed over the folds of my sex first before finally propelling one deep inside. The sexual ache only intensified, making my legs part instinctively, inviting more of his thrusting fingers in.

"Oh fuck, yes." It came out as a hiss, clearly indicating I had already lost any trace of sane thought, replaced by an untameable carnal ache. Am I really doing this? God, I'm really doing this.

My back arched and my eyes fluttered closed as his strokes became fast and fervid. His middle finger impatiently slid in and out, in and out, turning me from warm and moist to hot and wet. He knew exactly what to do to make me wild, to rouse the devil that secretly lurked inside me.

He started nuzzling my face, gliding up to the curve of my cheek, then cruising down to the pulse on my neck, as he proceeded to finger fuck me. His mouth went further south where my skin met the black material of my dress, right above my left breast. His tongue flicked over the swell of flesh. The sleeve of the dress eventually gave way, slipping off my shoulder, and he merely had to lower my strapless bra with his free hand to engulf my already sore nipple in his mouth. He kissed, suckled and played it, then traced a path to the other breast until he had nibbled on that taut nipple too.

Desperate to give him back pleasure, I fumbled with the button of his jeans, then finally managed to unzip it. My pulse pounding in my ears, I let my hand slowly creep under the waistband of his briefs, past the thatch of short curls, to touch the hard, straining length of him.

"Mmm, yeah," he groaned.

I already had my palm wrapped loosely around the shaft, about to start stroking and ready to hear him growl, when my arms went limp and lost all control because of what he did next.

He slid another finger deep into my soaking wetness, maintaining the fast rhythm, then rubbed his thumb against my throbbing clit, sending violent tremors up and down my spine and making me utter low, guttural sounds. I was almost shuddering with need. We hadn't even made it to the bed yet.

"Basang basa ka na," he murmured against my neck, switching to Filipino. It sounded strange, but more natural, more instinctive, making his words all the more arousing. They didn't sound borrowed from a sleazy American porn movie. "Kakantutin na nga kita." You're so wet. Think I'm gonna fuck you now.

I did not trust myself to respond. I hadn't the slightest idea what words were supposed to be used to reply to an invitation like that. Instead, I brought my lips back to his and pulled him down on the bed with me.

Our clothes were quickly discarded. Our mouths connected again, lips and tongues exchanging scorching kisses. His rigid body felt hard and ready against mine. I let him position himself on top of me, moving in between my legs. I then felt his cock brush against my opening, making my whole body quiver and sending my heartbeat to careen out of control.

This is it. Oh my God, this is it! This is it.

"Luke," I gasped, grabbing on to his shoulders. "Luke!" I felt moisture gather beneath my eyes as slow, searing pain coursed through my body.

SUR·PRISE noun \sə(r)-'prīz\

1 : an attack made without warning

2 : a taking unawares

His eyes grew wide, finally understanding my tears. "You're a virgin?" he choked out, immediately sliding off me. He rolled over to my side, ran a nervous hand through his hair, then continued staring at me in confused disbelief.

"Y-yeah," I whispered, tears continuing to cascade down my lowered lids. My hands desperately grasped around on the bed for a sheet or blanket – anything – to cover my body with. There wasn't any. I curled up into a fetal position instead, wrapping my arms around myself and closing my eyes shut.

I suddenly felt shy, scared and ashamed. Hysterical thoughts, one after another, raced through my mind. The blood had to be running down my thighs and soiling the fresh-smelling sheets. He had to think I was a scheming, money-hungry little bitch who could cry foul play. Or maybe a tease who thought she was all that but was actually just another stupid, naïve virgin.

Should I have just told him? How was I supposed to? I hadn't planned for any of this to happen.

Wasn't he going to comfort me and ask if I was hurting? Didn't he even care?

And even in my sorry, self-pitying condition, I could still not completely shake off my need for sexual release. Did this mean he wasn't going to continue what he started? Wasn't he interested anymore?

To my surprise, he laughed low in his throat, then leaned forward to kiss my mouth softly. "You're a virgin," he repeated against my lips, amusement lacing his voice. "A virgin! I can't believe what a lucky bastard I am."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice still quavering.

"Shh," he murmured, engulfing me in his arms and hastily wiping my undried tears with the back of his right hand.

He started kissing me again, with the same urgency and need he had displayed earlier. His hands roamed freely over my bare skin – stroking, kneading, persuading. Soon, I heard myself sighing softly and realized my arms had once again wrapped around his neck on their own volition. My body gradually uncoiled and my muscles relaxed as Luke urged me nearer.

He then moved into position again, hovering over me and nudging my legs apart. He didn't wait anymore – he suddenly thrust into me, hard and fast, making me cry out in sweet, delicious pain.

We fucked. It was rough, almost brutal and lasted longer than I had imagined it to, fueled by the alcohol pulsating in our veins. He plunged and bucked into me, sweat starting to glisten on his skin. I cried out with every hard surge, but not anymore because of twisting pain. It had become an exquisite kind of molten, fiery pleasure that intensified with his every motion. I wanted the moment to last – I never wanted it to end.

Luke pounded inside me, sure and deep, clutching my left breast almost painfully and creating hoarse grunts, until I felt him contract and expand as he finally reached release with a hardly-controlled roar. He quickly withdrew his cock from within my folds and spurted his load into his left hand.

"Fuck," he cursed softly. "Unbelievable. Fuck."

He quickly slid off me to the other side of the bed, merely wiping his palm with a few wads of tissue from the bedside table, but making no move to gather me in his arms or attempt any kind of touching. I was actually relieved he didn't – I needed to come back down to earth, catch my breath and wait for reason to return. We were both silent, the sounds in the room belonging just to the neo soul singer still crooning in the background and the slight hum of the air conditioner.

A few moments later, I felt my eyes slowly flutter shut as our breaths normalized. Through my drowsy exhaustion, I recognized the slowly-spreading but biting disappointment unraveling in me that I had not experienced orgasm, unlike he did. The hungry ache inside me had considerably ebbed, but had not completely diminished. If I had found the last remnants of my strength, I probably would have let my fingers inch up my inner thigh and sought pleasure myself...

Shit. Maybe later…

But of course, that didn't happen.

Merriam-Webster Online provided the word definitions.

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