The sky outside looked just like me
it was bright and blue up the top
but back in the distance
right where the sky touches the mountains
in the crevasses between hillsides
there was an impossibly dark storm brooding.
It was uncontrollable, unbearable.
I couldn't stop to look at it long
but it gave me complete understanding.
I knew I was looking at a reflection of myself
and that knowledge scared me.
If this storm, 200km east, was wreaking havoc
why couldn't I feel my insides churning
as I sucked up life and vomited it out again?
I wasn't directly linked to this piece of vapour
hanging in the sky like my grandmother's old drapes.
I only briefly thought of it twice more
being distracted by the pedestrians walking past.
The coffee in my hand served as a security.
I wanted to keep the warmth
instead of succumbing to painfully numb fingertips.
When I sat down behind my desk
that's when the storm started invading my space.
It rose up inside of me and I couldn't stop it
I swept everything off my desk
and life poured out of me.
I was flooding my office with memories
with images I never wanted to capture
I started drowning in my hate and sorrow
I drowned in my storm.
When they called the police there was no explanation
just a girl on the floor with lungs flooded to the brim
and not a drop of water in sight.