(A/N: Okay guys, I know this isn't exactly my usual writing kind of thing, but that shouldn't make much difference.

Just a warning: There is a part between the second and third attempts that I'm posting separate. It's labeled as The Truth About Devin and it explains why Devin is suddenly living with Keegan.

Er, other Warnings: attempted suicide, slash, language...er, does that one really count? It's kind of expected...right?

Uh, I think that's it. XD


Attempt 1. (Cutting)

Keegan looked around in the darkness of the streets, not seeing or hearing anyone near by. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

'This would make everything better. No one would have to put up with me anymore...Mom wouldn't have such a fuck up for a son...Matthew can find a boyfriend that can actually love him...I wouldn't be a failure anymore, because I wouldn't be here...' he thought, silent as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled up his sleeves with his free hand. 'No one will miss me...no one will even notice I'm gone...'

He froze for a moment, actually having to hold back a sob as he slowly fell down to his knees.

"No one will even notice..." he whispered to himself in the darkness.

There was a moment of dead silence before the sound of razor against flesh broke through the scene. Keegan opened his eyes and whimpered softly upon seeing his own blood seeping from his wrists, but then he smiled. He looked up at the sky, not wanting to see his blood, but he knew how quickly it was flowing out of him.

'No one's going to notice...I finally did it...'

But his thoughts were quickly interrupted when there was a cry of "Keegan!" somewhere behind him. He turned around and froze, going pale at the sight.

Red hair, freckles, soft green eyes, pale skin, light traces of makeup. Worn out tennis shoes that were duck-taped together, jeans that barely fit, and a long T-shirt with rips and tears that came with it from the donation people. Black nail polish.

All were clear signs of Devin Jamison the teenager that was just a few months younger than Keegan, who had the biggest crush on him, who seemed to follow Keegan everywhere and practically stalk him...

Though Keegan didn't often complain about it. He didn't exactly find Devin attractive, really who would? The kid had bruises covering his arms all the time and seemed to have a low self-esteem that was somewhere near where Keegan's was. He didn't value himself at all. He was also very shy and timid, and most of his so-called 'friends' didn't like or respect him either. But, still, they put up with him. Maybe they felt sorry for Devin, Keegan wasn't really sure. Then again, though, Keegan didn't think Devin was ugly either.

Keegan blinked, looking at him again as he was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of something wrapping tightly around his hand and slit wrist. He was confused for a moment, before realizing that Devin had taken his shirt off and used it to bandage Keegan's self-imposed wound.

"Damn, Keegan. Do you really hate me that much?"

Keegan didn't say anything back, for Devin seemed to strike something within him. He didn't hate Devin. Devin was one of the few people he considered...somewhat of his friends. Why would he ever think that Keegan hated him?