L. 23 Vocabulary Note is on Junyu's computer desk when it sees the Virginian Glass Pear with its beautiful iron-oxide complexion that Junyu thought was copper rust. Immediately L. 23 thinks, "I must marry that pear." Never mind that they have never met, it's called love at first sight, like Romeo and Juliet, except the note and the pear aren't going to die.
Junyu's home is full of that stuff where people die of love. Of course, it isn't in every corner, but it is present. The owner, Junyu, makes reference to the subject all the time.
L. 23 stares at the pear when Junyu, its mother-in-law, is not looking. Whenever Junyu stares at the paper, studying "forlorn: alone and miserable", the paper must tear its non-existent, imaginary eyes away from the pear.
"Every time my eyes are on something else they ache like the heartburn that I never had," thinks the paper. "Only the pear's love can solve this. But no, I am not handsome enough because Junyu has messy handwriting, and I've been crumpled from being in that unorganized backpack…"
Junyu isn't paying attention, and a mysterious force we call the movement of hot air currents to cold air currents blows L.23 to the beautiful Glass Pear. It must be nice if Junyu can dote on it as such, for she is like paradichlorobenzene: hypocritical and sensitive, hard to please. Besides, L. 23 is quite close to inner peace, so it's hard to tick it off.
"Hi, Missy," says L.23.
"I'm not a Missy," whispers the Glass Pear. "I am a neuter, just like you."
"Okay, Glass Pear."
"I go by SiO-Two as my official informal name. Though you can call me Sio. I've been here all day and I have so many lovers because of how valued I am by Junyu, the one who controls us. The lovers have cold hands."
L.23 extends a hand to Sio. "I am L.23 Vocabulary Notes, L.23 for short." After a pause it adds, "My hands may be cold too," it says, "but it's all I can do."
"No," says Sio. "Your hands are very warm."
They fall in a deep, three-dimensioned love while "The Best Days of Your Life" plays on an iPhone. Together, they dance and hold non-existent, imaginary hands, forgetting the troubles of the world (like Junyu, her weird stories, and her haunting math tests of 38%).
One minute Junyu tells Sio, "I want you to meet someone special." L.23 crosses its pulp and thinks, let it be me.
"It's-drumroll- The computer screen! I want you two to hook up! I don't care if you can't have kids! I'll force you to!" JY claps her hands hysterically. "Because I'm, like, totally into that stuff."
L. 23 Note could have sworn it heard "[Luka]_Vocaloid_song_The_Last_Queen" echo alone against the empty silence from Junyu's pirated song list.
"So, Computer Screen! Silicon Dioxide is ready to meet you!" JY smears the pear with finger prints as she lifts it to the computer screen's eyes.
Computer Screen stares with hungry eyes at Sio's beautiful green complexion. "Hi," it says to the pear.
"Hi," says Sio. It frowns with sorrow, and its very leaves droop with its emotions that can bend all including the bloodthirsty Justina Lee to pie-eating depressions. Yet it never so much as touched Junyu. "What is your informal name, Computer Screen? Mine is SiO-Two."
"Mine is Zinc Sulfide, Ra Girl for short."
"Nice to meet you," replies Sio sadly, a stream of water spilling down its cheek. Junyu has spilled her dihydrogen monoxide!
Junyu scrutinizes their conversation while Carrie Underwood_~_Just_A_Dream_(lyrics) plays on her iPhone.
"I can smell a marriage," she tells L.23, who knows it must do something.
At dinnertime, L.23 goes to Sio and kisses it.
"They want me to marry Computer Screen, L.23. They want me to be someone I can never be." Sio is very unhappy.
L.23 thinks of how tragic Sio would look if it were forced into that sort of existence. Then L.23 gets an idea.
"Let's get married first-"
"Beautiful idea, L.23!" interrupts Sio. "Then that way we can become husband and wife no matter what! Not even the aniti-homosexuality people or Junyu can stop us!"
They go to the priest, Paris Madeup-Voice who lives near the computer desk on the printer. He agrees to marry them right away.
"Aren't you scared of being killed by Junyu?" asks Sio after Paris agrees, for Sio is afraid Junyu set this up.
"No. I'm just a robot that someone made up for the sake of continuing the story, and besides, I die in every single one of my songs that I never sang so I am used to death. Also, I can be revived or reinstalled."
So Sio and L.23 decide to place their trust in this random robot priest with blond hair. He marries them and says the wedding vow, "Glass Pear, do you agree to take L.23 Vocabulary Note as your same-gender spouse and never abandon it even if it feeds you Glorox wipe, asks you to waste your whole entire life making hearts, and/or makes you sacrifice your life for it?"
SiO-Two says yes, and Paris Madeup-Voice goes on with L.23's marriage vow.
SiO-Two and L.23 Vocabulary Note walk the printer as a married couple. Suddenly L.23 Vocabulary Note lets Sio go, and Sio sees Junyu coming with Computer Screen in her arms.
Quickly, Paris flees. L.23 flees too, but the damage is already done.
Junyu comes forward and puts down Computer Screen, picking up Sio.
"What have you been doing here?" asks Junyu.
"Nothing," stammers Sio.
"You were seeing L.23." Junyu is extremely angry.
Sio says nothing.
"You are to stop this conduct," says Junyu.
Junyu locks Sio up in her room with the broken lock.
Sio pines for L.23.
One day, she hears a rapping on the door.
It is Junyu, and she carries a blue poncho.
"Come, Silicon Dioxide," she bids, "Come try on your wedding dress."
Sio wonders how that is possible, since the poncho is oversized clothing. Junyu does not care however and wraps the poncho around Sio, blinding Sio.
"Perfect," says Junyu. "Now let me see you with your future husband."
Junyu brings in Computer Screen, who is wrapped up in a nice bubbly wrapping called bubble paper. Like Sio, Computer Screen is beautiful, but then L.23 is more beautiful.
Sio bursts into imaginary tears.
"I cannot do anything about this!" whines Sio. "Junyu will never ever let you and me be married. And you cannot sneak me away in the dead of night for I may crack and die!"
L.23 nods. "And besides, it is so very hard to get past the open, unlocked door. It took me five hours to do so."
"So what can we do?" asks Sio.
L.23 thinks for a long time. "We can try to make a kid and then Junyu may give in."
"Great idea!" replies Sio.
They are about to try to make a half-note, half-glass flat pear when Sio exclaims, "But L.23, my dear, we are both neuters so we cannot have children!"
"Oh, great. Then we must abort this task."
As a result, the two of them plan other things.
"What if I simply refuse to say the wedding vow?" asks Sio.
"Of course! I wonder why I haven't thought of that."
"But then, but then-"
"They might change the laws so that you don't need two vows for marriage."
"Sio, that's all right. We'll just think up other things."
The lovers think for a long time. Miraculously, Sio does not crack from the hard work.
Sio and L.23 decide to run away in a coffin at night when they overhear Junyu say, "I'll leave the door open tomorrow because I'll be too lazy to close it."
The big night is here, and L.23 somehow gets Sio into a coffin.
They make it out of the room and two inches from the door peacefully. Sio says, "So far, so good!"
Someone scoops them up. It is Junyu.
"What are you doing?" asks Junyu.
"Running away because this is the only way that we'll be happy in love," blurts out Sio.
"Yeah," adds L.23. "And I can't bear to see my love in such a painful marriage anyway."
Junyu thinks for five seconds, an awfully long time. At last she says, "You know, I'm getting tired of monitoring you two. Also, I just realized that if Computer Screen is married, I can't play on the computer any more. So why don't you just marry? I'll pay for the wedding dress."
The next day, SiO-Two and L.23 Vocabulary Notes are married and move into Junyu's room. She fixes the lock so Computer Screen cannot kidnap Sio.
Married life is hard. First, the price of food keeps climbing. Junyu feels greedy so she has to raise food prices. Secondly, Sio and L.23 have a child. It is a glass sheet, and it always smiles, as a smile has been carved in the surface since birth. Third and lastly, there is a shortage of money and the parents must work hard at their jobs (eg: not getting cracked and not getting ripped even if scissors are used) to feed everyone. The result of the third trouble is that the love between Sio and L.23 is thinning.
One day, L.23 realizes that its love is thinning only because Sio's is. So it tells Sio when their child is asleep, "A gravestone is cheaper than food."
Then L.23 kills the child with a paper cut.
For about five minutes, L.23 and Sio are happy until Sio says, "Wait, we're inanimate objects. We don't need to eat."
L.23 is overcome with guilt and leaves Junyu's room to go to her study with the paper shredder. It destroys itself in horror.
Sio thinks that L.23 has taken a long walk.
Then Junyu takes it into her room and it sees a strip of paper on the floor that says, "forlorn: alone and miserable". Sio knows the story, and utters "Forlorn am I to suggest that inanimate objects do not have to eat!"
Sio tries to get out of Junyu's arms and crash itself, but then Junyu smiles evilly. "You're too pretty to die, and I made a bet with my teacher that you won't get cracked. So you will stay whole."
Sio never gives up trying to suicide, but Junyu doesn't give up protecting it either.
Junyu waits till Sio is tired, then approaches it. She murmurs, "Since I decide that I have enough juice for my story, I will turn you into an inanimate object and make you unable to do talk or move."
She shuts off Computer Screen's anthropomorphism, kills Paris Madeup-Voice, and destroys the remains of Sio and L.23's child the night she makes Sio a normal glass pear again.