In a dream he held me,
called me his olive branch
his wisp of salt air
his impossible dream,
because he was the unworthy one
and circumstance had kept him from reaching out
to me-his olive branch.
Thought I wanted him to,
would have died of happiness if he had,
he couldn't do it.
But now he had me
and he was so grateful.
I didn't feel much of anything.
In a dream I had what I'd wished and wept and pined for.
He held me and kissed me
called me his olive branch.
I should have been delirious with joy.
But my response (that circumstance didn't matter and we were together now)
fell woodenly from my lips.
My kiss was brittle.
It should have been heaven.
It was a hollow tree.
I no longer wish and weep and pine for him.
My waking hours are filled with other hopes.
There is no place for him.
(never was really)
Not even in a dream.
A couple nights ago I had a dream about the guy that I'd liked obsessively for three years. In the dream we were living together and he was telling me how he'd always loved me, but didn't feel worthy of me. He actually did call me his olive branch. In the dream, he was so happy to be with me, but I didn't feel anything for him. I woke up feeling very confused and preoccupied. I haven't seen this guy in about two years. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. It was strange to be dreaming about someone who I'd loved so intensely for such a long time, but recently hadn't even given a thought to. I wrote the poem to sort out what I felt. I realized that I'm truly over him, even in my subconscious.