Everyone I've ever known is working their way towards something... a degree, a real life, a job that makes money. Everyone except me. I hate how I've fallen behind because all I could do was whine about how no one understands how hard it is to be a spoiled brat who thinks she has problems. People understand they just don't want to buy into your bullshit, Elizabeth. The idea of school scares me because I've never been able to do the same thing for four years - I hardly finished high school. I can't even keep the same personality, emotions, feelings for people, relationships, hobbies, interests, life. I don't like being still or calm. If I'm alone with myself I start to think about everything in my past and it turns into a pity party and all the same whiny bullshit that got me here in the first place. Where is here? Working 45+ hours a week towards nothing. There is no end in site and no escape. I have nothing to get away from here with. No future. I don't see an end in site. I don't see a chance to escape working these shit jobs and struggling to keep my head above water until I die. I don't like anything, I don't want to do anything, nothing is appealing or interesting. I'm too tired to care.